samantha_123 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 My bf of six years left me for somebody else. I can’t understand it why did he do that to me? He said he loved me but things would not work out between us. I asked him why he said because I didn’t have set career, im lazy, I don’t cook and clean. I told him those are not reasons to leave somebody for. Then I found some pictures of him with some other girl . (Some of the pictures of her were expulsive.) He shows no remorse for what hes done nor does he care. What in the world is he thinking? She obviously is not wife material. Why leave your gf of six years for somebody like that?
strength-abounds Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Welcome Samantha. The question you are posing is essentially the $1,000,000 here at LS. If all members knew the answer to this, the hopeless romantics (myself included) would have nothing to rant about. It sounds like the XBF is a s***** boyfriend and an even s******r human being. You're better off. Good luck and again, welcome.
Author samantha_123 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 Welcome Samantha. The question you are posing is essentially the $1,000,000 here at LS. If all members knew the answer to this, the hopeless romantics (myself included) would have nothing to rant about. It sounds like the XBF is a s***** boyfriend and an even s******r human being. You're better off. Good luck and again, welcome. Yea ;/ ... will he regret it? will he ever hurt like I am? Will he want me back?
health Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Leaving one person for another always ends in crap. He will call you and try to have both worlds. You deserve better. Focus on you - talk to him just a bit in the beggining like one month tops - then stay at no contact and please do it for life. He's a jerk and you deserve better.
abouttoloseit Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Ok girls, bash away. But I did this once to my girlfriend of 5 years. I don't see how you can say "he didn't love her". DO you REALLY know their relationship? Don't be so bashing towards the guy. Samantha, your bf probably does, and did love you. In time, he will realise what he has lost. You. But better to happen now than in years to come, when you are married for example? I Loved my ex, however...I knew, it wasn't meant to be. And to those who say "he didn't love her", it could be the fact HE DID and chose to end it instead of staying with her and hurting her further. Samantha, it will get easier, and you will meet a cooler guy. It's just this one wasn't for you. Embrace and take it as experience. Just DON'T take him back as hard as it may be. GO out with your friends, try and have fun. Order pizza, movies in...just try not to do anything that reminds you of him.
TheLoveAdvisor Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 You don't clean? You don't cook? You don't work? What do you do??? Maybe this is a sign that you may need to explore yourself..He has decided he doesn't want to spend his entire life paying for everything, cleaning up everything and cooking everything! I mean, who do you think you are?? Queen Elizabeth?? LOL! Everyone in a relationship should have things they do, he may cook, while you may do the laundry, or run the vaccum... Not to say its your sole job, but you should always share in things you may not like to do, like clean, or work.. He sees you as a couch potato. Everything is on his shoulders, so he has found somebody else to fill those things you are not responding to.. He has told you why he left, you just chose to ignore them.. In a relationship, its give and take, if you love him, you will adjust....
alexandria35 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 The original poster didn't say she didn't work. She said one of her ex's complaints was that she didn't have a set career. Lots of people don't have set careers, that doesn't mean that they don't work and they don't pay bills. She also didn't say that he did all the housework and cooking either. She said he complained that she didn't cook and clean. That doesn't automatically mean that he did. Maybe he's lazy too and expects a woman to wait on him.
dapantsu Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Relationships that begin in this way seem to usually end in disaster. I would do as other posters suggested and go no contact as soon as you can. It will be hard at first but help you get over this faster. Lucky for you, your ex-bf gave you some reasons for ending the relationship (apart from the other woman) that you can actually use to improve yourself. You now have a great opportunity to focus on your life, figure out that career path, resolve whatever vices you may possess, and move on for yourself since you've luckily already discovered your ex is a douche. ETA: I guess I should say, a very similar thing happened to me about 3 years ago. I thought it was the end of the world when my ex bf of 5 years left me to pursue a polyamorous relationship with another woman. I was so cut up over it for about a year since I handled it in the stupidest way possible. No contact with him was the best thing I ever did.
Author samantha_123 Posted December 7, 2010 Author Posted December 7, 2010 (edited) :bunny::bunny::bunny: Edited December 7, 2010 by samantha_123 error
Author samantha_123 Posted December 7, 2010 Author Posted December 7, 2010 You don't clean? You don't cook? You don't work? What do you do??? Maybe this is a sign that you may need to explore yourself..He has decided he doesn't want to spend his entire life paying for everything, cleaning up everything and cooking everything! I mean, who do you think you are?? Queen Elizabeth?? LOL! Everyone in a relationship should have things they do, he may cook, while you may do the laundry, or run the vaccum... Not to say its your sole job, but you should always share in things you may not like to do, like clean, or work.. He sees you as a couch potato. Everything is on his shoulders, so he has found somebody else to fill those things you are not responding to.. He has told you why he left, you just chose to ignore them.. In a relationship, its give and take, if you love him, you will adjust.... I do work it is not the ideal job I work full time …. (I have two college degrees but cant find a good job right now... Ive been applying but nothing has come up right now) Ive been working there about six months. He just recently became a nurse (LVN) from the vista college a tec school. We do not leave together . [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/sIZE]
Author samantha_123 Posted December 7, 2010 Author Posted December 7, 2010 You don't clean? You don't cook? You don't work? What do you do??? Maybe this is a sign that you may need to explore yourself..He has decided he doesn't want to spend his entire life paying for everything, cleaning up everything and cooking everything! I mean, who do you think you are?? Queen Elizabeth?? LOL! Everyone in a relationship should have things they do, he may cook, while you may do the laundry, or run the vaccum... Not to say its your sole job, but you should always share in things you may not like to do, like clean, or work.. He sees you as a couch potato. Everything is on his shoulders, so he has found somebody else to fill those things you are not responding to.. He has told you why he left, you just chose to ignore them.. In a relationship, its give and take, if you love him, you will adjust.... I do work it is not the ideal job I work full time …. (I have two college degrees but cant find a good job right now... Ive been applying but nothing has come up right now) Ive been working there about six months. He just recently became a nurse (LVN) from the vista college a tec school. We do not live together . [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/sIZE]
Woman In Blue Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 So because your boyfriend got his nursing degree, that suddenly makes him a hot-shot medical professional - and you a 'loser,' is that it? LOL. Men only get nursing degrees when they can't achieve something higher in the medical field. Tell him to blow it out his a*ss. I get a kick out of the fact that it's YOU who supposedly doesn't cook and clean - making you 'lazy.' When's the last time this a*sshole did a load of laundry or scrubbed the toilet? I'd be willing to bet he probably did nothing around the house and left it all to you. According to Mr. Perfect, you're supposed to have this banging career AND do 100% of the cleaning AND do 100% of the cooking, as well. Along with doing all that, did he also expect you to change the oil in both your cars and do all the lawn maintenance, too? What a jerkoff. The truth is, he wanted to leave and those were merely the excuses he chose to use in order to justify getting out of the relationship. If you did have the perfect career AND you had spent the rest of your time housecleaning, cooking, doing laundry and wiping his ass for him, he would have used the excuse that you were "too busy and had neglected him." Don't you see? You weren't going to win no matter what you did. He wanted to leave, and he did. Accept it with grace and dignity and move on.
wicar1 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 You are better off without him... Find someone who deserves you. Good luck
Author samantha_123 Posted December 10, 2010 Author Posted December 10, 2010 So because your boyfriend got his nursing degree, that suddenly makes him a hot-shot medical professional - and you a 'loser,' is that it? LOL. Men only get nursing degrees when they can't achieve something higher in the medical field. Tell him to blow it out his a*ss. I get a kick out of the fact that it's YOU who supposedly doesn't cook and clean - making you 'lazy.' When's the last time this a*sshole did a load of laundry or scrubbed the toilet? I'd be willing to bet he probably did nothing around the house and left it all to you. According to Mr. Perfect, you're supposed to have this banging career AND do 100% of the cleaning AND do 100% of the cooking, as well. Along with doing all that, did he also expect you to change the oil in both your cars and do all the lawn maintenance, too? What a jerkoff. The truth is, he wanted to leave and those were merely the excuses he chose to use in order to justify getting out of the relationship. If you did have the perfect career AND you had spent the rest of your time housecleaning, cooking, doing laundry and wiping his ass for him, he would have used the excuse that you were "too busy and had neglected him." Don't you see? You weren't going to win no matter what you did. He wanted to leave, and he did. Accept it with grace and dignity and move on. Yup, Bingo you got that right on the nose… as soon as he became a LVN all of a sudden I became trash .He went to a technical school as well not even a university. It was weird as soon as he started working as a LVN his ego even grew bigger. That’s why I stopped talking to him the first time (we broke up about nine months). I couldn’t stand the way he was acting like he was hot**** and better then everybody his behavior and attitude changed. Everything was close to perfect before he signed up for the nursing program …. ( five years) and after that everything went down hill. When we got back together things were ever worst he even thought he was better then his own family because they don’t have degrees and “do nothing with there lives”. Its kind of weird this guy is about 2 or a 3 and thinks he could get any women because he has LVN license ( and taking some online classes to become a RN). I forgot to mention this guy is overweight and thinks hes a macdaddy . We dont even live together … It was kind of weird he said I didn’t cook and clean when he didn’t even do those things for himself ( he still lives with his mother hes 29 ).. You are so right it would have been something else wrong. I couldn’t win … I believe hes going threw that stage the grass is greener on the other side …. On his myspace messaging any girl possible its pretty discussing if you asked me.. trying to get with 18 year olds at 29. Thanks for your post it has made me realize even more things… If he keeps acting like this hes going to die alone … Im just waiting for this guy to fall on his face…
loverofloveandstuff Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Okay, I wouldn't 'wait for him to fall on his face.' Chill out and just forget him. You don't want to be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, they are the worst.
loverofloveandstuff Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Ok girls, bash away. But I did this once to my girlfriend of 5 years. I don't see how you can say "he didn't love her". DO you REALLY know their relationship? Don't be so bashing towards the guy. Nothing to do with bashing... He probably doesn't love her, once did but no longer does. That's not a crime.
Author samantha_123 Posted December 11, 2010 Author Posted December 11, 2010 Okay, I wouldn't 'wait for him to fall on his face.' Chill out and just forget him. You don't want to be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, they are the worst. Yea out of the blue he texts me.... thinking that I was going to be his backbone or something..... "Are you ok? I had a dream that you died?" I texted him back and he texted me .... I never texted him back ... It was test to see where I was with him (I guess).... I never thought he would ever contact me again but he did.... If you really want somebody out of your life you wont contact them again..... Do you see what I mean?
amerikajin Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 It's complicated. He feels guilty about breaking up with you and hurting you. He does care about you. He remembers the good times you had together and he believes that you're a good person who deserves happiness and good fortune in life. At the same time, being in a deeper relationship requires a lot of resolve and a great sense of commitment. Unfortunately, he no longer wants to be in that kind of committed relationship with you. Having been in that position myself, believe me, it's no fun for him either. There's pain and anguish from knowing that you're hurting someone that you love as a human being. Nevertheless, that's not your concern. As someone who's feeling the pain of being dumped, you can't worry about him anymore. Let him deal with his guilt on his own and just move on. I agree with what was said earlier in the thread: it just wasn't meant to be. Take some time to let the pain out, reflect on both the good and the bad, and think about what you want in a mate from this point forward. Typically, I think a relationship that goes beyond two years either has to become an engagement or it probably isn't going anywhere. This is just my take, and others may disagree, but in my experience, I think there comes a point when couples seriously have to ask where the relationship is going, and there have to be more concrete plans than just saying "Well, we'll just see what happens in the future." What usually happens is that, without a firm commitment, the future usually ends up meaning, until one of us gets tired of this. In this case, it looks like he finally got tired of the relationship after six years. If it means anything, your relationship lasted longer than many -- probably longer than 90 percent of the non-legally binding relationships out there. Try to take some solace from that, but move on.
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