Ashes_risen Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 It's been about 5 months since the breakup of my seven year marriage. I'm not going into the ugly details about me her and my kids, but rather just wanted to talk about me and what has and hasn't been improving or not. I always hoped that I could move on and find someone new that would be the one that "should" have been there for the seven years and then some but wasn't. I haven't found anyone that fills any shoes of a great person to spend my time with. In this town, all I find are prunes, or women who are engauged, or with someone litterally standing next to them, or girls that are too young or too old. I just feel that there's nobody here to fill that void that aches. I'm scared that I'm just going to be alone with my kids for the rest of my life. I don't want that. I miss sharing things with someone else, to smile with, to laugh with, hell, even a good roll in the sheets once a week would be nice. I've pretty much given up hope that I'll find anyone to replace my wife with. I feel hallow and misrible. I hate how people say "move on", move on to what?? It would be nice if you could just snap your fingers and there's a hot lady there that wants to get to know you. It just don't work like that people. My hope is that maybe some day I'll run into a great gal that doesn't have tunnel vision. Who isn't after money, talks out their ass, a bitch, or is just a plain ditz. It's just very frustrating in this area where I'm at. Even if I lived in a huge city, I still would have a delimma of finding someone awesome. I'm just curious, has any of you out there found anyone worth while to date after your horrible breakup, or are you having the same issue like me?
SadGirl23 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 good question.. as I got out of a 5 year relationship bc my ex bf dumped me. been 3 months since breakup. amazing how shyt works in my favor, i got a new job and from there, met prince charming. Yet, I am not physically attracted to him. He's super awesome and treats me so nice and does such nice things for me.. butttt he's just not my type. I don't know if this is some sign to force my way to move on and get to know this awesome guy.. but yet, I feel like I'm not ready to move on.. I hate when people say move on.. sometimes physically you can move on to find an attractive person to meet but emotionally its hard and not easy and doesn't happen that fast! nehow, honestly like I said he's a awesome guy, unfortunately hes not my type looks wise... but I am very pleased to have this guy rescue me from such a heartbroken relationship.. this dude like literally saved my life.. but I feel bad that I don't have that chemistry with him. Maybe it'll happen later on, maybe it won't.. but I atleast try to keep things very platonic, be honest and respect him and thank God he has done the same.. but I feel bad that I may be stringing this guy along because I am not sure of jumping into something so soon as of now. let alone I am not sure if I can see myself with him in a relationship way.. friendship yes, but sex/love/marriage not as of now
Author Ashes_risen Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 Yeah I hear that. At least you had someone that was interested in you. I'm so frustrated though, I'm a really good looking guy, but problem is, there's also an air base here, so it's full of military hot dogs that tend to pray pretty well on what is available here. So I don't really have much chance to meet anyone, but the women here sure do well. Maybe you should move here haha.
valpre Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Having the same issues as you Ashen - and I feel like I've been single for long enough now (over a year). I've been on loads of dates, but haven't managed to meet someone that I click with on all levels. It can be quite discouraging and disappointing, and every time I have a bad experience I find myself wanting to reach out to my ex, which is annoying. The fear of never meeting someone suitable ever again can be overwhelming at times, but we can't dwell on it, just try to make the most of each day, whatever it may bring. Best of luck to you!
leftfield Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I know the feeling Ashes. I don't live in the sort of place where the phrase "move on" presents much of an option. They might as well say "head butt wall repeatedly". I'm not "a really good looking guy" like you are, but I'm not some sort of grotesque freak. I haven't been head-butting walls or anything. Although I'm not really ready to move on anyway, even if there was a queue of girls lining up for me, I'm still too hung up on the ex. But it's a depressing thought that I'm more likely to step in white dog sh*t than meet someone attractive, interesting and single. I do need to get out more really, but that's probably not always easy for you with kids to look after? Are there people around you who can look after the kids while you spread the net further afield, so to speak? I think you do need to be a bit more realistic in your approach though. You're not just going to "run into" a woman that will replace (or a least measure up to) a wife of 7 years. Maybe you're not quite 'ready' either Ashes? You are still in the Coping forum after all.
stopthemadness Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 It's been about 5 months since the breakup of my seven year marriage. I'm not going into the ugly details about me her and my kids, but rather just wanted to talk about me and what has and hasn't been improving or not. I always hoped that I could move on and find someone new that would be the one that "should" have been there for the seven years and then some but wasn't. I haven't found anyone that fills any shoes of a great person to spend my time with. In this town, all I find are prunes, or women who are engauged, or with someone litterally standing next to them, or girls that are too young or too old. I just feel that there's nobody here to fill that void that aches. I'm scared that I'm just going to be alone with my kids for the rest of my life. I don't want that. I miss sharing things with someone else, to smile with, to laugh with, hell, even a good roll in the sheets once a week would be nice. I've pretty much given up hope that I'll find anyone to replace my wife with. I feel hallow and misrible. I hate how people say "move on", move on to what?? It would be nice if you could just snap your fingers and there's a hot lady there that wants to get to know you. It just don't work like that people. My hope is that maybe some day I'll run into a great gal that doesn't have tunnel vision. Who isn't after money, talks out their ass, a bitch, or is just a plain ditz. It's just very frustrating in this area where I'm at. Even if I lived in a huge city, I still would have a delimma of finding someone awesome. I'm just curious, has any of you out there found anyone worth while to date after your horrible breakup, or are you having the same issue like me? Hi so sorry for your pain, am going through stuff too. I chat with a few people on"plentyoffish.com" just remember its all in fun. Just to kill time.(for me anyway) It makes me feel better. Ive made a friend. He dont know my real name. Have fun. Good Luck. Feel better.
health Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 It's been about 5 months since the breakup of my seven year marriage. I'm not going into the ugly details about me her and my kids, but rather just wanted to talk about me and what has and hasn't been improving or not. I always hoped that I could move on and find someone new that would be the one that "should" have been there for the seven years and then some but wasn't. I haven't found anyone that fills any shoes of a great person to spend my time with. In this town, all I find are prunes, or women who are engauged, or with someone litterally standing next to them, or girls that are too young or too old. I just feel that there's nobody here to fill that void that aches. I'm scared that I'm just going to be alone with my kids for the rest of my life. I don't want that. I miss sharing things with someone else, to smile with, to laugh with, hell, even a good roll in the sheets once a week would be nice. I've pretty much given up hope that I'll find anyone to replace my wife with. I feel hallow and misrible. I hate how people say "move on", move on to what?? It would be nice if you could just snap your fingers and there's a hot lady there that wants to get to know you. It just don't work like that people. My hope is that maybe some day I'll run into a great gal that doesn't have tunnel vision. Who isn't after money, talks out their ass, a bitch, or is just a plain ditz. It's just very frustrating in this area where I'm at. Even if I lived in a huge city, I still would have a delimma of finding someone awesome. I'm just curious, has any of you out there found anyone worth while to date after your horrible breakup, or are you having the same issue like me? I feel you. But we can't look for someone to fill the void. The void must be filled by us! A relationship is a bonus. That's how I view it. I have been with 3 girls since my 5 year + relationship ended - I found issues with each one - alcoholic, slutty girl, and one not to be trusted - she cheated in her past... I think the key is just try to improve and grow as much as possible. Read a book called Rebuilding after your relationship ends and one called Are you the one for me. Those helped me alot. I've been going out every weekend in desperation find a girl for the last 2 years - it doesn't work. It also has to be reciprocal - if a girl dosn't like me - instant turn off - cause I know what that brings.
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