Tractor Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I havent been here in a while, but some may remember my story. So I wont re-tell it. Its been a little over 4 months since breakup. Some days I do real well, some are just horrible. I mean REALLY BAD. I have tried throwing myself into work,its a high tech job, but Ive been doing it so long I can do it with my eyes closed so to speak. That dosent help. Remodeling house, which occupies time and will help at sale time. Every nail or screw I take out reminds me of what used to be hanging there. Sometimes this makes it worse, but it needs to be done. I get to where Im doing ok, then its time for visit with child, who I will never abandon. I go to spend time with child, and of course I see her and we discuss whats going on in childs life and plans for time with child. Some times I know its over,sometimes I think we still have a chance. We talk about that some. Both of us feel our lives are so f***ed up now. There is no way we can not see each other because of child. Every time I am around her I am so in love with her. It takes me about a week to recover. Then I have a reasonably good week, then its time for another visit. I dont belive she is stringing me along, we have a good time as a family when we all do something together. She still does a lot of the little things for me that she has always done. (favorite meals,cuts my hair,(which was always quite a turn on for both of us),little gifts, a book she just read that she knows I will like) I dont know how to turn it off. I dont know if I want to, but I think I need to.
strength-abounds Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Hey tractor Dude, you're in a h*** of a predictament. It's impossible to go NC when children are involved but you can have Limited Contact. Stop eating with her; stop the haircuts; just deal with children matters and that's it. IMO, you're killing yourself involving her in your life other than the child. Aside from that, I wish there was more I could tell you. Good luck brother.
Author Tractor Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 S A I know you are most likley right. But... there is a part of me that wants to hold on. I am pushing 50 and have had two serious realationships before her, and in hindsight no one has made me feel like she did. A close friend,whose judgement I trust and who also knows her well(a close family friend) tells me if I want to save this, get my a$$ to where she is and rent a cheap apt. Be around when she needs me, be closer to child, let her know Im there for her. He could be right. Im not sure I could handle the heartbreak if it didnt work out. I know you guys dont really know me, her or him. His advice has always been sound in the past. Another person on this site has said a similar thing, but it was more related to being close to child. There is a woman who lives in the town where I live who has been paying attention to me lately. I feels good,but I find myself holding her up to my ex and in my mind she dosent measure up. This woman had seen us together in past. She works at a place we used to go. She is hot,nice, and has her own life. Sometimes I would like to just jump her bones and send her home. Boy could I really use that right now. I think I would just break down and cry. And thats an ugly picture, a naked 50 yo man crying while a hot naked woman wonders what the he** is going on. Would you do it,does it help? What have some of you done to help yourself through this tough time??
strength-abounds Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I would like to extend a theory that my brother gave me after my marriage went down the s**tter. Having experienced a horrible marriage and a disgusting wife, he said to me, "Brother, you need to go find a woman, any woman, and f*** her until you can't see straight. NOTHING CURES A BROKEN HEART LIKE A HEALTHY DOSE OF CRABS!" I took his advice, minus the pubic lice, and it eased the pain tremendously. All the pain didn't go away but it's getting less and less every day. My advice is to take this lady you have met and go with it. You may be scared s***less at first, but keep going forward. Good Luck and God Bless.
rebeccajones Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Just tell the woman you want nothing more than sex. She might like you! Then you will hurt her! If she's cool with it - hit it! Sounds like I may need to do that myself! Get me out of my funk.
strength-abounds Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Just tell the woman you want nothing more than sex. She might like you! Then you will hurt her! If she's cool with it - hit it! Sounds like I may need to do that myself! Get me out of my funk. See tractor, the women think it's a good idea too. rebecca, this theory holds true for even women. Except for the crabs.
Author Tractor Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 I am scared s***less, Ive been out of the dating loop so long Im not sure I want to suggest just sex. I think I will ask her out. See what happens for a date or two. She might be thinking of just sex. I just dont know how to read it anymore. Im sure practice makes perfect. Any women 40s+ got any suggestions. Its been 10 years or so, and with my ex she pursued me.
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