wheelwright Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 People with weak boundaries and little conviction internalize criticism. This would fit a lot of people who have just been dumped by someone they love. Or who have been abused. Or who care about other's emotions when they consider criticism. So I believe in going easy on people. It is good if we don't internalize criticism It is bad if we reject other people's feelings, within which there may be criticism of ourselves. I agree the degree to which we internalize this reflects a level of psychological health. But only to a degree. The borderline between psychopathy and humanity.
Jane Deaux Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 I just joined and posted my story. Most of the replies I got berated me. Others told me I should not be doing what I'm doing. It wasn't even the question I asked, If I should. I asked for advice on HOW. Maybe they saw that as wrong because I didn't and do not show regret, but I really felt like I was in the Om/Ow forum to be heard by people that didn't judge harshly. I thought I was clear in my post about what I wanted, and about my home situation, but many didn't care. They just wanted to tell me how wrong I was. A few posted their opinion in a manner of respect while still expressing their dislike of affairs. These I'm fine with. It's the others, I'm sure who Gel is referring to, that were trite and somewhat rude. Everyone has their own story and to imply someone is sooo wrong based on your very own opinion. Well, that isn't what we came in here for.
4321sn Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 "I can't speak for GEL, but I can speak for myself. My early threads - those that weren't deleted because of all the nasty name-calling directed at OWs - should allow you to see who "all these people" are (or at least, some of them) and you'll see that while some have moved on, others are very much still around. Still telling OWs - as they told me - that MMs never leave, that their particular MM will never leave, that she's just a "side pork" / dirty little secret / free sex and that he really loves his BW because that's who he goes home to every night, that of course they still share a bed and of course they have crash-hot sex every night, that of course he's just telling you he loves you and he's leaving his M and he's looking for a place to stay, they ALL say that and it's just another MM line and they never actually do..." you managed to put it to words exactly how Ive been feeling. Although I do not know what tomorrow may bring, I know that MM loves me. I have to say as a newer poster that it us very difficult for us to post here at times. I don't know about others but often times it seems as OW are mocked when they say that their MM loves them and is planning on leaving... Every situation is different. Genuine support and concern is helpful but often times people who come for support are left feeling horrible. Thank you for your honest post OWoman.
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