mj_dependable Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I have been dating a married man for 4 months and recently broke up with him....I don't feel comfortable dating a married man....he lives in his own place. I told him that once his divorce is final and "if" I'm still available I would consider dating him again. He has made it quite clear that he wants to see me. Moraling I don't "feel right" dating a married man. TO ALL MEN: Do you think I did the right thing or shoud I have just stayed with him through thick and thin. He has been seperated for 3 yrs.
strength-abounds Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Did you do the right thing? Let me answer this by telling you that my faith in women have begun to be rejuvenated. Now I wish the people in my gender would man up and take part in INTEGRITY. Thank you.
PegNosePete Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I think the "separated" label is a bit of a stigma. If he had not been married, it wouldn't be an issue, right? He would have an ex from 3 years ago and would be considered "single". He would be no more likely to go back to his ex than a married man would be to reconcile with his wife. However as a "separated" man myself I can totally understand your decision. If I were dating someone who said exactly what you said, I would understand completely (and be at court the very next day). If I were you, I would also be asking why he has been separated for 3 years and not got a divorce yet. There's no reason to stay married to someone for that long, especially if you're getting into a (serious?) relationship with someone else.
Don Ho Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Hmmm. Do you know for sure he's "over" his Ex and not sleeping with her? When is he going to finalize his divorce and why hasn't he? I'm not sure I see your "moral" issue when he separated and living in his own place and getting divorced. It's not like you're stealing him away or you're a home wrecker.
Author mj_dependable Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 Dear Don...you have an excellent point! I don't know if he is still sleeping with his ex....my gut feeling tells me he is not. The way I see it, he is still married under the eyes of the courts, and being with "me" is considered adultery.....if and wdhen the wife finds out, adultery = more $$ for her....could she "sue" me for wrecking her marriage?? Everyones response:) is really helping alot!
Author mj_dependable Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 Hmmm. Do you know for sure he's "over" his Ex and not sleeping with her? When is he going to finalize his divorce and why hasn't he? I'm not sure I see your "moral" issue when he separated and living in his own place and getting divorced. It's not like you're stealing him away or you're a home wrecker. Dear Don...you have an excellent point! I don't know if he is still sleeping with his ex....my gut feeling tells me he is not. The way I see it, he is still married under the eyes of the courts, and being with "me" is considered adultery.....if and wdhen the wife finds out, adultery = more $$ for her....could she "sue" me for wrecking her marriage?? Everyones response:) is really helping alot!
Don Ho Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Dear Don...you have an excellent point! I don't know if he is still sleeping with his ex....my gut feeling tells me he is not. The way I see it, he is still married under the eyes of the courts, and being with "me" is considered adultery.....if and wdhen the wife finds out, adultery = more $$ for her....could she "sue" me for wrecking her marriage?? Everyones response:) is really helping alot! Well gut feelings can be wrong and Ex spouses often hook up. Well if you really look at it that way, then you've been committing adultery for four months! If you're having a "moral" issue over it, I guess that's your prerogative. I think it's more an issue of you getting too involved and hurt if he's still involved with her. It depends on the State. CA is a "no fault" State so it doesn't matter if there was cheating or not. I don't think she could sue you either. Do you normally worry in such detail?
Jerry1056 Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 I have been dating a married man for 4 months and recently broke up with him....I don't feel comfortable dating a married man....he lives in his own place. I told him that once his divorce is final and "if" I'm still available I would consider dating him again. He has made it quite clear that he wants to see me. Moraling I don't "feel right" dating a married man. TO ALL MEN: Do you think I did the right thing or shoud I have just stayed with him through thick and thin. He has been seperated for 3 yrs. I think you did the right thing, and no, it's not wrong to not "feel right" about dating a married man. You deserve someone who is not attached and can give you all. Just missed you on Match.com. recently.
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