Nearly a year on and I am still struggling

[TerryV]

Hi all,

 

sadly my wife told me this time last year that she no longer loved me. We tried to work through things but sadly she said that she could no longer love me as a husband. As a result llast Christmas out marriage ended.

 

I was devastated and had never felt pain like that in my life. I really hit rock bottom and needed counselling and hypnotherapy.

 

However, nearly a year on I am a lot better, I have done a lot this year and a lot has gone through my mind. However, I am still living with my folks trying desperately saving to get my own place but I am still troubled.

 

Not a day goes past where I dont wonder how my wife is, how she is doing, what she is up to, has she found someone else. Does she wonder about me. I have a little cry at times too.

 

I seem to go through weekly stages, one week I will feel on top of the world, have lots of energy keep busy then bang the next week I feel real low and dead inside. The cycles are slowly getting further apart but is this normal?

 

Normal that nearly a year on I still think about my wife? She is prob getting on with her life and all happy and yet I am still here and think of her every day. I get annoyed with myself that I cant stop this, its not like I want to think of her it just happens. I cant help to miss what he had.

 

Family and friends keep telling me this is normal, that a year is not that long and I should give myself a break. I wanted to know if this is normal? Am I going mad or is feeling like this a year on quite common?

 

Any replies would be gratefully recieved.

 

Thanks.

[TerryV]

I have read a few posts on here now and I see that what I am going through is quite common. I am a hell of a lot better than I was but not there yet.

 

Someone mentioned about checking out their ex's face book profile. I used to do that every day. See friends I didnt know she had and wonder who the hell they were. Try and check her pics etc. You know its been three months now since I checked. I realised that when I checked it I felt closed to her and happy. The second I logged off I felt utter utter misery and it put me back 10 steps. I still have days where I want to check her profile but I stop myself and just dont dare because it will mess me up.

 

I guess I am healing just very slolwy but it feels like its taking too long. Or is this normal?

[jokesoflife]

Hey I have the same feelings you are having and I feel exactly the same way . I turned to my religion for help but its not helping and I end up hoping that my ex would think about me or feel the same way I feel but in reality we are the unfortunate souls ruined by giving away too much of ourselves to someone and be it a year old or 6 years old our friends and people close to us start viewing us a mental..I'm still seeking answers to my questions.