shiftedblue Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 So I was drunk last weekend, Friday & Saturday. I went home with this guy that is best friends with my older sister's boyfriend, two nights in a row. He apparently likes me, and has liked me for a while, but we rarely see eachother. Anyway, we slept together. So last night we were both at a friends house and I guess we were both feeling sort of shy. We sat next to each other, a little snuggly action but not much. And little talking.. there were a lot of people around though. My question is, where do I go from here? How do you move forward when you've already slept together...
carhill Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 How do you move forward when you've already slept together. Presuming you like each other and can communicate with each other, talk about it
Author shiftedblue Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 Why the hell women have to blame alcohol everytime? Even when Im drunk I still know what Im doing. Thats just bullcrap. Google the word "accountability" for once. I never "blamed" anyone. I like the guy. I wasn't complaining about having slept with him; I just wasn't sure how to go forward in the direction of dating. You must have had s*it for breakfast. Enjoy the nasty taste.
LittleTiger Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Presuming you like each other and can communicate with each other, talk about it I second this.
sagetalk Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 1. So I was drunk last weekend, Friday & Saturday. I went home with this guy that is best friends with my older sister's boyfriend, two nights in a row. He apparently likes me, and has liked me for a while, but we rarely see eachother. Anyway, we slept together. 2. So last night we were both at a friends house and I guess we were both feeling sort of shy. We sat next to each other, a little snuggly action but not much. And little talking.. there were a lot of people around though. 3. My question is, where do I go from here? How do you move forward when you've already slept together... 1. I agree with a previous poster when they said ditch the drunk talk. You had sex with with him because you wanted to. 2. I don't think shy is an accurate word for this situation. How can people who have had sex be shy around each other? 3. Hard to say, you started from the end rather than the beginning. Normally you would flirt, make small talk, hold hands, go on a few dates, and then maybe have sex. You leap frogged a heck of lot of steps. I say go back to square one. If he doesn't want to go on dates and be a boyfriend, try again. Next time, don't have sex so quickly, you will find much more respectable and faithful men that way.
Surrealist Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 My question is, where do I go from here? Maybe get a test for STDs would be a good start.
Author shiftedblue Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 Maybe get a test for STDs would be a good start. 1. used a condom 2. mentioned drunkenness because there was a clear... "lack of inhibitions" that led to the sex, the sex may not have happened if we were sober. 3. dang you people are judgmental. I had sex with him because I wanted to, YES. now finding it hard to continue on because I am shy/have anxiety but it is remedied cuz he called me yesterday and we watched a movie and talked. so thanks for the advice
carhill Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 So, did you talk about your anxiety and shyness and how those features of who you are interrelate with sexual expression? Or did you talk about the latest news on the baby seals being killed in Canada? When providing an update, it's nice to put some meat on the plate, meaning particulars, like what you talked about. What is remedied?
Author shiftedblue Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 So, did you talk about your anxiety and shyness and how those features of who you are interrelate with sexual expression? Or did you talk about the latest news on the baby seals being killed in Canada? When providing an update, it's nice to put some meat on the plate, meaning particulars, like what you talked about. What is remedied? The awkwardness has been remedied. It's weird to sleep with someone you barely know; sex is intimate (obviously). I wasn't really sure if I would be able to hold a conversation with the guy, as I really didn't (and still don't) know him very well. So yesterday we hung out on his couch and watched Evil Dead. Turns out we have a lot of similar interests and I am very comfortable in his presence, which is a rarity for me. I imagine his laid-back personality was a factor in me having gone home with him in the first place. So we talked and etc, and discussed going out for food (i.e. a date) how we both think there has to be a balance in a relationship (friends v significant other time). We both only recently ended long term relationships (about 3 mos ago, both of us weirdly enough). I guess I can't convey this easily but it usually does take a lot for me to be comfortable with someone, and I feel at ease with him almost automatically. I was just nervous that us having slept together BEFORE having a "date" would make me feel even more uneasy than I typically would. But apparently not..
carhill Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Sounds great. So, where and when is the next (first) date? Hope it goes well!
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