Author loverofloveandstuff Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 I don't see what the big deal is. All I seem to hear on the street and on the boards is 'hook up' this and 'hook up' that, with a lot of men seeming to see a woman as a convenient place to empty their prostrates. (Even the nice ones who want to hang out and have a conversation afterwards) So why is it that when guys are benefiting, sex is a casual matter - but when a woman is getting something from it, sex becomes a 'sacred act of relationship?' I really like what you said here. Good point.
Author loverofloveandstuff Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 There's a big difference between being a stripper and being an escort. Escorts are simply glorified prostitutes. I would consider dating a stripper, past or present, but I would have nothing to do with a prostitute if they had made a voluntary decision to whore themselves. Yeah, I'm asking if you guys would think that a girl who dabbled in all three of these jobs would be considered gf material. For some more information, said girl was in her last year of highschool, 17, but desperate to make enough money to get away from home.
Author loverofloveandstuff Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 I was including u and I did read it. U ruled the escort chic out...if u knew. ....key word...if u knew.but I believe if u met a woman and u had a wonderful rel with her and found out year or two later, u wouldn't leave her if u love her. Why would u, its the past and she ain't doing it no moe True 9lives. I'm also wondering because the only person who knows about it is her best guy friend. He got upset and mad about which is why she stopped. I guess it's different for everybody, but really wanting to know if he would not ever consider her girlfriend material.
Star Gazer Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 MOST (yes, MOST, but definitely not ALL) women who become strippers are emotionally unstable people. If I were a guy, I wouldn't date an ex-stripper, and absolutely not an escort, unless that was part of her past from a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time ago and she'd obviously moved past that part of her life.
Aflac2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I would date them as long as they used to do it, and don't do it while Im in a relationship with them.
taiko Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 MOST (yes, MOST, but definitely not ALL) women who become strippers are emotionally unstable people. If I were a guy, I wouldn't date an ex-stripper, and absolutely not an escort, unless that was part of her past from a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time ago and she'd obviously moved past that part of her life. For some reason people see strippers as live models who get premium pay for showing nipples or spreading her legs open at a distance rather then sex workers, with the same back ground as prostitutes who may or may not actually touch their client. On the other hand a key word here is ex. If someone asked would you date an ex-victim of a sexual assault he would be banned. People do change and come back from past tramas if they were self inflicted or because of someone else's actions.
JohnnyBlaze Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I did date a stripper (still working as one, not an ex-stripper). I had no problem with her job; that wasn't why we broke up. We split when we were going to get together one night after she was done work, and she wanted me to take her to a dealer to score some heroin while her mother was babysitting her daughter. I had no desire to be with a heroin junkie, and I had no desire to be with someone who valued drugs (or anything, for that matter) over her own baby. So that was it for us. It was the drugs, not the job that did us in.
Feelin Frisky Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I'd have trust issues. I wouldn't want to betray myself.
JustJoe Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 OP, stripping isn't anything really bad, but sex workers (prostitutes, porn stars, escorts, etc) are frequently into drugs or have some form of sexual disfunction. The idea of the well-adjusted, moral, honest sex worker is a myth. Most have been in trouble with the law, and almost all have , at least, been exposed to STD'S. That they are tested monthly is also a myth.
Author loverofloveandstuff Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 OP, stripping isn't anything really bad, but sex workers (prostitutes, porn stars, escorts, etc) are frequently into drugs or have some form of sexual disfunction. Okay, they are definitely not all into drugs and they are definitely not all sexually disfunctional although most of them, like Star said, probably have some deeper emotional and psychological issues.
Author loverofloveandstuff Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r8N6I4ENL4 I love this movie! If only prostitution was really that glamorous.
JustJoe Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Okay, they are definitely not all into drugs and they are definitely not all sexually disfunctional although most of them, like Star said, probably have some deeper emotional and psychological issues.Not saying all, just the vast majority. I dated a stripper, and so know something about this issue.
Knittress Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 (edited) We are not talking about women who casually sleep with a lot of men. We are talking about women who sell themselves for sex. The two are totally different. Wouldnt you feel a little something toward an ex-gigolo also? From a certain perspective, we all sell ourselves for money every time we punch in at the timeclock. Is there anything inherently more superior about sweeping floors or shuffling papers around while kissing corporate butt? I think people who put down sex workers tend to do so out of a sense of insecurity, an unhealthy disgust towards sexuality, or maybe just envy regarding the power of female sensuality. There might be some truth to what folks are saying about the emotional issues surrounding strippers/escorts and their lifestyle, and I respect their experience - but what irks me is the automatic, unevaluated tendency of some folks to dehumanize people that make them uncomfortable. Edited November 1, 2010 by Knittress
callingyouuu Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Yes, but she would have a lot more to prove at the beginning of the dating period than a girl who works at a desk job, at least in terms of emotional stability, self-esteem, and sexual health. I may also be a bit more cautious in reading signs with her than others, since people in that industry by nature are pretty good at pretending that they are attracted to people.
taiko Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Not saying all, just the vast majority. I dated a stripper, and so know something about this issue. Your not the only one bro, it is something besides earning a little more money then a burger flipper which allows some people to accept a term or actually like sex work I love this movie! If only prostitution was really that glamorous. I saw it and the prostitution was never shown as glamorous. She just ran across a customer who didn't care about her past. They did not show a prostitute servicing another customer and before she transitioned from street walker to escort for the client she was using a marker and safety pins to repair her boots. And when the closest thing Gere's character had to a friend found out that the escort who was then transitioning to girlfriend/fiance was a sex worker he was going to rape, then pay her.
Author loverofloveandstuff Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 Your not the only one bro, it is something besides earning a little more money then a burger flipper which allows some people to accept a term or actually like sex work I saw it and the prostitution was never shown as glamorous. She just ran across a customer who didn't care about her past. They did not show a prostitute servicing another customer and before she transitioned from street walker to escort for the client she was using a marker and safety pins to repair her boots. And when the closest thing Gere's character had to a friend found out that the escort who was then transitioning to girlfriend/fiance was a sex worker he was going to rape, then pay her. Okay, so it's been awhile since I've seen it. I take my comment back. What I meant was getting swept off your feet by Richard Gere is glamorous.
EasyHeart Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 There's a huge difference between models and strippers on the one hand and escorts/prostitutes/porn stars on the other. I would have no problem with the former. I struggle to imagine that there are many emotionally healthy people in the latter category, but to be honest I've never met any, so who knows? Personally, I don't have any black and white "I would nevers", but working as an escort/prostitute/porn star would certainly raise some very big red flags!!!
Author loverofloveandstuff Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 There's a huge difference between models and strippers on the one hand and escorts/prostitutes/porn stars on the other. I would have no problem with the former. I struggle to imagine that there are many emotionally healthy people in the latter category, but to be honest I've never met any, so who knows? Personally, I don't have any black and white "I would nevers", but working as an escort/prostitute/porn star would certainly raise some very big red flags!!! EasyHeart, you probably haven't read it but I've written a post saying that I am referring to someone who has dabled in all of these jobs. Not a pornstar though. Thankyou for your response though.
taiko Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 EasyHeart, you probably haven't read it but I've written a post saying that I am referring to someone who has dabled in all of these jobs. Not a pornstar though. Thankyou for your response though. There's a huge difference between models and strippers on the one hand and escorts/prostitutes/porn stars on the other. I would have no problem with the former. I struggle to imagine that there are many emotionally healthy people in the latter category, but to be honest I've never met any, so who knows? Personally, I don't have any black and white "I would nevers", but working as an escort/prostitute/porn star would certainly raise some very big red flags!!! It depends upon the jurisdiction of where the stripper works, in my area the only difference is that a stripper doesn't, normally, directly touch a bare penis with her hand or mouth. In other places they are separated from the men by a fence
JustJoe Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Okay, so it's been awhile since I've seen it. I take my comment back. What I meant was getting swept off your feet by Richard Gere is glamorous. It appears from your posts, Lover, that you have this idea that sex workers are somehow "glamourous", which isn't the case. Only in Hollywood is this glamourous, in RL it's dangerous, dirty and soul-killing. And I will stand behind my statement that there is no such thing as a well-adjusted sex worker.
Author loverofloveandstuff Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 (edited) It appears from your posts, Lover, that you have this idea that sex workers are somehow "glamourous", which isn't the case. Only in Hollywood is this glamourous, in RL it's dangerous, dirty and soul-killing. And I will stand behind my statement that there is no such thing as a well-adjusted sex worker. Joe, if I have come across that way I have misrepresented myself entirely. Trust me, I know that it is not glamorous. EDIT: it must be my fault that I have come across that way but I'm actually pretty offended that you think I think that. Edited November 1, 2010 by loverofloveandstuff
D-Jam Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 So what's worse? a) A woman who has slept with 100 different men, every one of them with a condom, and all for money? b) A woman who has slept with 40-100 different men, sometimes with condom, sometimes not...but never for money (athough expensive gifts and nights out did help sway her)? Not attacking, just wondering. Frankly, I'd say if I had to choose I'd at least pick the one who kept things safe and was smart enough not to just get used/abused or pumped and dumped. In reality though most guys wouldn't pick either...but I have always found it interesting how some guys will partake of a woman who has done some "bad" things compared to others. You would be surprised how many white guys would deem a woman "no way never" if she ever had sex with a black man. So she could have had sex with 3 guys in her life, all condom...and thus she is seen as more "tainted" than the girl who's been freely banging women of her own race, sometimes without protection. Not an attack on anyone here...but it is funny what I've seen guys say and do in terms of how they deem a "good girl" and a "bad girl". Funniest are the guys who want women to easily put out for them until they're 30, then they want some gorgeous woman who has only been with 1-3 guys to marry them...but wait through her 20s until the guy is finishing sowing his wild oats...and all those women in his past are all deemed "sex only".
tincanman99 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Escort, I dont think so. Stripper, it depends. Current stripper, no way, years ago, maybe. Years ago stripping was not what it was today. I had a friend who did it when I was in college and all stripping consisted of was dancing on stage without your clothes. No touching, no grabbing and she made great money. Ironically she was an NFL cheerleader as well. Men that got touchy gotten beaten or escorted out. Stripper today, no way and here is why: Lap dances. Lap dances range from the relatively mild experience of a naked woman climbing all over you while you cant touch to the full contact, touching, grinding, nipples in your face, almost everything goes dance. This stripping is just one step away from prostitution. Dont let anybody kid you otherwise. Sure we all have to sell ourselves to make a buck. It does indeed suck but selling yourself sexually is a whole other animal. As for bikini/lingerie model, knock yourself out. It doesnt bother me one bit. Witness Sports Illustrated and Victorias Secret. There is a big gap between this and escorts and stripping.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I don't see what the big deal is. All I seem to hear on the street and on the boards is 'hook up' this and 'hook up' that, with a lot of men seeming to see a woman as a convenient place to empty their prostrates. (Even the nice ones who want to hang out and have a conversation afterwards) So why is it that when guys are benefiting, sex is a casual matter - but when a woman is getting something from it, sex becomes a 'sacred act of relationship?' It's because Men pay attention to how you treat yourself. If you treat yourself as though your for sale... you will get no respect, even if they buy you. Because they know anyone can buy you. Sex is competitive between men. No guy wants to be the loser. Note the character Eugene Levy plays in the movie "Best In Show" where he is constantly being embarrassed because his wife has slept with everyone. From a certain perspective, we all sell ourselves for money every time we punch in at the timeclock. Is there anything inherently more superior about sweeping floors or shuffling papers around while kissing corporate butt? I think people who put down sex workers tend to do so out of a sense of insecurity, an unhealthy disgust towards sexuality, or maybe just envy regarding the power of female sensuality. There might be some truth to what folks are saying about the emotional issues surrounding strippers/escorts and their lifestyle, and I respect their experience - but what irks me is the automatic, unevaluated tendency of some folks to dehumanize people that make them uncomfortable. I don't go to work and have things shoved into my orifices. There is an enormous difference between selling your labor, and selling your body. It's the difference between working as a slave... where your body is owned property for money, and working as a free man where the things you make or the benefit of your work is provided to the company for compensation. I can't think of any companies that require unrestricted use of your sex organs. It also takes a special kind of person... typically those with mental issues... to allow strange men and women to dehumanize them. Being reduced to the sum total of your genitals is demeaning in a way I can't even describe. I won't visit stripclubs... I won't pay for prostitutes.
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