Chris89 Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I was with my girlfriend for 1.5 years, we were best friends before that, could do absolutely everything together. Then i parted ways with her (biggest mistake i ever made) for 9 months. Then we got to talking in the beginning of the fall, and got back together. But ive had problems with drinking, and then calling her at night, goin on about almost everything. When i was sober or only had a few drinks, sparks really flew all the time. What i didn't know was that during the summer (with her assignments from the college) she worked at a farm and met this guy, who also goes to the same college with her. I guess they somewhat hit it off. so in the end of the summer they were starting to date. I honestly had no idea that had happened when i called her up, told her that maybe we should get back together. She stayed with me. But the drinking continued and got out of hand, i broke my promises and felt insecure all the time. She broke up with me. A week later she went on a date with the guy and now theyre together as a couple. It happened so fast. Is this a rebound relationship or am I dumped for good? I stopped drinking, been clean for a month, picked up training swimming again and losing weight. Whats your opinion? Do I still have a chance, when she sees that this time I truly hold my promise?
brandon9384 Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 You know what they say, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
Hhhh Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 If you guys were friends before that should be easy to communicate try pursuing her but not heavily Guy seems like a rebound or a comfort zone
Author Chris89 Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 any other opinions? im really at my wits end
nittanylion Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 any other opinions? im really at my wits end NO chance! Move On! Even though she comes back, you will be her 2nd choice. Do you want that?
Capital P Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 You are going to need at least 6 months of strict no contact. She needs to miss you, and her new bf needs to **** up, which he will. Take 6 months out, do NOT contact her and for ****s sake stop drinking, its crap. Go out sober and meet people , get some confidence. You ain going to get anyone back the state u are at the mo
Author Chris89 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 (edited) I wantet to clear that yes - I stopped drinking - and not to impress her (though yes that would be great too if it happened right, no harm in that). The fact that she dumped me because of the drinking made me realise what an ass I had been all that time. All those wrong decisions and so on. Ive calmed down now, thinking straight. Yes, I do want her back and so what you suggest basically is to wait it out? She wanted to stay friends, but you thats not possible at this stage; the fact that my head is back on, doesnt mean Im not hurting anymore. The connection is still there I think, but over time crap has piled up on it needless to say. The guy she's with is a comfort zone you say? what makes you think that Edited November 1, 2010 by Chris89 add on
Capital P Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 It could be the love of her life for all i know but they usually dont last What you have to accept though is that she isnt with you anymore. So anything she does or you do have nothing to do with each other. If you leave a girl alone you usually get a second chance with them. I always have. So u need to wait until she contacts you, and when she does then decide what to do. Dont jump into anything whatever you do Sort your life out in the next 6 months, put yourslef first
Author Chris89 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 Yes, I will. Thats basically the only thing that needs to be done - sort myself out. Activities that I used to do are back in the schedule so to say - one by one. Thats the thing that made my bond with her that deep allthrough out the relationship - we like doing almost exactly the same things - with the exception that for some reason at a point in time I stopped doing those things. (going to basketball games, volunteering at the pound etc). Now Im going to again because the demotivator - drinking - is no more for me. And thats no matter whether we get back or not. The question about the other guy was just to make sense of the matter - Im not going to go smash his face on or get in the way of this new relationship Im not trying to play mind games with her, by doing those activities again (I enjoyed those things just as much) - I just know it will eventually get a reaction from her - seeing the guy she fell for in the first place. Kind of a reminder of the good things, with the problem removed. This is my opinion for now
Recommended Posts