sanskrit Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Agree with Surrealist. Relationships are supposed to be the spice of life, not the meat. If the meat isn't high quality on its own beforehand, the spice will overcome and ruin the meal I like being single and like being in relationships, single life is definitely easier and more serene though.
Titania22 Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Agree with Surrealist. Relationships are supposed to be the spice of life, not the meat. If the meat isn't high quality on its own beforehand, the spice will overcome and ruin the meal I like being single and like being in relationships, single life is definitely easier and more serene though. That's a lovely metaphor.
9Lives Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 (edited) I like being single. Sometimes I feel guilt for enjoying it too much. I like relships too. I much much rather be single than in a bad relship. What works for me is not entertaining certain things. I focus on embracing the single life instead of fighting against it. There are a lot of benefits to being single. I have lots of love in my life but right now I don't have relship love. That is a totally different feeling. So it cool. I want good love. Good love to me given by me and good love for my future. I rather be single and enjoy making myself happy and one day meeting someone and adding to my happiness instead of taking away from it. The spice. Another spice on the good meat! Edited October 31, 2010 by 9Lives
Els Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I think each person's answer as to the advantage of being single, corresponds to the disadvantages they faced in their previous relationship.As in, someone who was seldom allowed to go for guys' nights out by his gf would probably come here and say, "Being single is great, I can go for guys' nights out all I want!" But someone who had always had the freedom to do so while in an R, would not list that as the advantages of being single. I guess I'm lucky in that I am afforded most of the 'benefits of being single' while still in a committed R. The bf is big on autonomy and freedom and such; he feels that if either of us doesn't want to do anything, we shouldn't have to, and screw predefined regulations that define most Rs. So I get to keep all my male friends, some whom I had lunch with one on one while the bf and I were LD. He doesn't bug me to come see him if I don't feel like it. I masturbate all I want. There are some drawbacks to this attitude relationship-wise, but I must admit that having all the freedom of being single (except for the freedom to flirt around and have sex with random guys, which I don't really do anyway) while having a partner is great in its own way.
counterman Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 It is not really that bad, depending on how you take it. More of friends in their early 20s were really desperate about getting into a relationship... it wasn't about getting into a relationship with someone who is compatible and someone who they have chemistry with, it was just... getting into a relationship. They HATED being single. Why? Because they didn't do much with the time they did have. Of course it gets boring. Some of them have gone onto relationships and I guarantee it isn't that great as they try to talk it out to be. I was naive once. When I was in a relationship, I wondered what possessed my mind before I wasn't in it, because the relationship and my girlfriend at the time consumed my mind so much. Now that I am single, I wondered how my mind had even held all of that - cause it's so full of other exciting stuff now! I take on different challenges everyday, learning new skills and taking hobbies that I have always wondered. I guess this perspective came about due to the fact that I was in an unhealthy relationship. However, being single has taught me to value myself a whole lot more and especially value the independence I do have. Any girl that is gonna be in a relationship with me would have to be pretty damn worthy of my time or else I am not having any of it.
denise_xo Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I was always perfectly happy being single. It's nice to have all the "me" time, to be able to stretch out over the whole bed, etc. While I do love being married, there are pros and cons to each state, it's all a matter of what you prioritize at the time. I had fun being single and independent. Ditto. I'm in a 'miss being single' period right now, so I encourage the OP just to enjoy!
Cee Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Being single isn't bad for a while, but to be honest I'm very very tired of it. I'll be the first to talk of the greatness of being solo, but I'm sick of being single, too. Yesterday I spent the day with a happily married couple. We had been standing for hours and were sitting in the grass. They cuddled easily into each other and I got to cuddle with a rock. But I didn't get tired of being single right away. Loved it at first and still love it sometimes. It's been 6+ years and now I'm saying, enough is enough. I'm sick of me. I'm my own ball and chain. I'd love to bring somebody else into the mix now.
9Lives Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 It is not really that bad, depending on how you take it. More of friends in their early 20s were really desperate about getting into a relationship... it wasn't about getting into a relationship with someone who is compatible and someone who they have chemistry with, it was just... getting into a relationship. They HATED being single. Why? Because they didn't do much with the time they did have. Of course it gets boring. Some of them have gone onto relationships and I guarantee it isn't that great as they try to talk it out to be. I was naive once. When I was in a relationship, I wondered what possessed my mind before I wasn't in it, because the relationship and my girlfriend at the time consumed my mind so much. Now that I am single, I wondered how my mind had even held all of that - cause it's so full of other exciting stuff now! I take on different challenges everyday, learning new skills and taking hobbies that I have always wondered. I guess this perspective came about due to the fact that I was in an unhealthy relationship. However, being single has taught me to value myself a whole lot more and especially value the independence I do have. Any girl that is gonna be in a relationship with me would have to be pretty damn worthy of my time or else I am not having any of it. I heard that!!!!! (2 snaps and a high five)
TouchedByViolet Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I'm sick and tired of being single. It's been 3 years for me and I want a good relationship. I see it around me, and I feel hyper aware of other people's relationships because I spend so much time thinking about it. Being single has made me feel lonely, bored, and empty. I have a degree, a good job, a nice place, and I'm an awesome person... just missing someone to share it with.
SunsetRed Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I'm sorry you're feeling down tonight. When you're coming out of a relationship that you counted on, being single sucks so bad. If you've gone out on a string of sucky dates with weirdos, then being single seems like a breath of fresh air. I do think it would suck to never have anyone in my life again but the person I wanted has left me and now the guys who are making themselves available to me make me want to stay single. I am trying to use my singleness to work on myself. After my last relationship, I can see where I contribute to my own singleness, so I am working on that. Hope you feel better soon.
D-Jam Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Please convince me. I'm feeling a little down tonight. (on a break with my "bf"...i'm assuming he's surroundes by women right now.) I dunno. While I am in a happy RL right now, the secret to my enjoying singledom was not to turn into into a depressing time of my life where I sit at home and wish I had someone. So say your boyfriend (I'd like to call him an ex) finds some new female and thus deems you as "the past". What would you do then? Run out immediately and find some guy to date/sleep with to fill the empty void?Find any and all single women and unhappy RL women, gather around, sip wine, and bash men all night?Sit at home alone with the pet or pets, watching chick-flicks and eating ice cream?Find interesting things to do in your life that fulfill you? The fourth choice was my choice. I'd plan small trips and look forward to taking them. Perhaps make friends in other cities and go visit them (gotta love the internet). I'd try new things (activities and hobbies). Since I work in Interactive Media, I would take on freelance work to make extra money. If I was still single, I'd probably already be investing more. I'd work out and build a sense of regimen and routine in my life. I'd cook food and now I blog about it. Maybe you can paint, or shoot photos, or take nature walks, or garden, or whatever. The point is that too many single people will let the loneliness take over their lives. So they sit at home in their free time in depression, or run out to find a quick replacement or an FB to somehow make up for the missing SO, or spend their every free moment on dating sites and other avenues hoping to meet someone. Male or female, most people like others who have lives. I know my GF liked about me that I had many interests. I wasn't some typical guy who spent his free time watching football and partying/getting trashed. It attracted her to me because she got to do and see interesting things. From a girl's perspective, I look at the women who have a lot going on for themselves even as what attracts the "good men". Better is that they meet you when you might be blossoming like a flower, but not actively trying to snag someone. I don't know how to think of this in "woman terms", but for me also, I looked at my singledom as one divorce I didn't have to deal with, and less drama. I know this seems negative, but it's funny how many people in RLs I see who are miserable, and thus it didn't make my scenario look so bad. Still, I'm sure you're a smart, beautiful woman who has much to offer a guy. So just find your own life, and they will find you. Seriously.
9Lives Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I dunno. While I am in a happy RL right now, the secret to my enjoying singledom was not to turn into into a depressing time of my life where I sit at home and wish I had someone. So say your boyfriend (I'd like to call him an ex) finds some new female and thus deems you as "the past". What would you do then? Run out immediately and find some guy to date/sleep with to fill the empty void?Find any and all single women and unhappy RL women, gather around, sip wine, and bash men all night?Sit at home alone with the pet or pets, watching chick-flicks and eating ice cream?Find interesting things to do in your life that fulfill you? The fourth choice was my choice. I'd plan small trips and look forward to taking them. Perhaps make friends in other cities and go visit them (gotta love the internet). I'd try new things (activities and hobbies). Since I work in Interactive Media, I would take on freelance work to make extra money. If I was still single, I'd probably already be investing more. I'd work out and build a sense of regimen and routine in my life. I'd cook food and now I blog about it. Maybe you can paint, or shoot photos, or take nature walks, or garden, or whatever. The point is that too many single people will let the loneliness take over their lives. So they sit at home in their free time in depression, or run out to find a quick replacement or an FB to somehow make up for the missing SO, or spend their every free moment on dating sites and other avenues hoping to meet someone. Male or female, most people like others who have lives. I know my GF liked about me that I had many interests. I wasn't some typical guy who spent his free time watching football and partying/getting trashed. It attracted her to me because she got to do and see interesting things. From a girl's perspective, I look at the women who have a lot going on for themselves even as what attracts the "good men". Better is that they meet you when you might be blossoming like a flower, but not actively trying to snag someone. I don't know how to think of this in "woman terms", but for me also, I looked at my singledom as one divorce I didn't have to deal with, and less drama. I know this seems negative, but it's funny how many people in RLs I see who are miserable, and thus it didn't make my scenario look so bad. Still, I'm sure you're a smart, beautiful woman who has much to offer a guy. So just find your own life, and they will find you. Seriously. I agree. The single life can be wonderful. Its wwhat u make it. It gives u the opportunity to learn about u and how to make your own self happy. U get the opportunity to enjoy activities. There are so many advantages. Being in a rel is nice too but only if its working other than that its miserable. I much rather be single than in a bad rel. Its the best alternative. I rather be out here making my life happy and good and shopping for the right person than stuck out. Its a win win. Make it work.
Woggle Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I think each person's answer as to the advantage of being single, corresponds to the disadvantages they faced in their previous relationship.As in, someone who was seldom allowed to go for guys' nights out by his gf would probably come here and say, "Being single is great, I can go for guys' nights out all I want!" But someone who had always had the freedom to do so while in an R, would not list that as the advantages of being single. I guess I'm lucky in that I am afforded most of the 'benefits of being single' while still in a committed R. The bf is big on autonomy and freedom and such; he feels that if either of us doesn't want to do anything, we shouldn't have to, and screw predefined regulations that define most Rs. So I get to keep all my male friends, some whom I had lunch with one on one while the bf and I were LD. He doesn't bug me to come see him if I don't feel like it. I masturbate all I want. There are some drawbacks to this attitude relationship-wise, but I must admit that having all the freedom of being single (except for the freedom to flirt around and have sex with random guys, which I don't really do anyway) while having a partner is great in its own way. I agree with this. I have this kind of relationship in my marriage and it taught me that I can fully share my life with a woman and commit myself to her without becoming an emasculated shell of a man. I never knew marriage could be great like this but it is.
LondonS Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I actually enjoy being single right now. No drama, I can finally relax and have peace in my life. I am enjoying the silence in my life being alone. When I was in my last relationship I didn't feel secure so I was questioning the relationship. The guy just was not dependable and always had excuses. I got tired of it. Anyways long story short I'm in a rather stressful time in my life and I just rather not add any more. For now I'm content and I find my life to be ok right now because I'm not hurting myself by stressing about a guy. I figure if the guy really wants to be with me he will. Although if I'm not actively seeking anyone nor do I want to right now. I'm using all my energy and brain for advancing my life. Very similar situation... as much as I tried, I couldnt trust this guy due to his excuses which were way too lame...I think being single is much more peaceful...
Crusoe Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 There's pros and cons to both being single and being on a relationship. The key, as with anything, is to take the positives, ignore the negatives and make the most of what you've got. One way or the other, it's all a state of mind.
krz12 Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 It is not really that bad, depending on how you take it. More of friends in their early 20s were really desperate about getting into a relationship... it wasn't about getting into a relationship with someone who is compatible and someone who they have chemistry with, it was just... getting into a relationship. They HATED being single. Why? Because they didn't do much with the time they did have. Of course it gets boring. Some of them have gone onto relationships and I guarantee it isn't that great as they try to talk it out to be. Yeah, I think its a grass is greener on the other side kind of thing. I myself didn't have a problem with being single in the 16-23 range. I just slept a lot (10 hours a day), worked on schoolwork, and otherwise occupied myself on my computer. Of course, I had a horrid case of acne at the time which didn't help things. So I started playing WoW. A lot. I think the difference between men and women (at least at that age) is how they handle it. I have a fair amount of male friends who I associate with 1-2 times a week, depending on how schedules go. But pretty much all we do is play cards, watch sports, golf, play video games, eat, and drink. I'm sure all of us have other interests of some sort, but when we socialize, we pretty much limit ourselves to that list of activities. That's not a bad thing; its really fun while it lasts on those 1-2 days, but the other 5 days of the week you feel lonely a bit. And the activities I used to fill the void in those 5 days dried up after a while. Single women, though, seem to talk about deeper things more. If they're in school, they tend to study more (this probably helps while away time). And I think they tend to do more activities with each other than the above list of 6. 3 different women I've met have talked to me about lengthy vacations to various parts of the world. The idea of going to the Amazon rain forest with a dude, though, just seems extremely odd and homo.
Knittress Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I don't particularly enjoy being single. All the perks folks throw out as a benefit of this state I fully expect to have while being in a couple (Oh, you're busy? I guess I'll just take off to Brazil for a few weeks by myself then. Byyyyye!). Haha, this might be why I found my ass ALONE. ::sigh:: ... with the one exception that now I can make out and/or get with whoever I please - but unfortunately I have no interest in this. Strangers are boring, not sexy. For the OP, if you're on-again-off-again it sounds like the relationship is a lot of drama and a lot of work. Being single is better. Way better.
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