thekid55 Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 (edited) My girlfriend and I broke up one month ago after a 2.5 year relationship. It was a mutual decision. We both felt like the relationship was dragging us down and we just needed time to ourselves. We pretty much neglected our friends for the final six months of the relationships, which led to the demise. When we broke up, she said that she'd knew she marry me one day and that this would be for the best. She was very emotional. Well, since the breakup, I've tried to reach out and see her a few times to no avail. At first, she would text me occasionally, but I got so pushy/needy that it would scare her off. She would tell me that not enough time had passed by and she was just working on herself. I had one instance where I got really drunk and poured my heart out to her, which really made her mad. Outside of that, I saw her on campus at school for an event and we didn't talk. After the event, I texted her asking why that was so awkward, which led to another huge fight. We share a lot of mutual friends and they volunteer information about her to me. They say that she hasn't dated or hooked up with anyone since we broke up. She has spent all of her time with girlfriends. She still has a lot of my stuff and still wears the jewelry that I bought for her. One friend told me that he saw her out at a bar one night and she looked absolutely miserable. I've been in NC for 8 days now. I removed her on Facebook last week and when she saw that I did this, she made her profile super private. She didn't de-tag any pictures or delete any albums she had. With prior boyfriends, I know that she deleted all of that. She also has been trying to come off as super happy on Facebook as well. So, I've made all of the classic mistakes in terms of begging, pleading, etc. I've been in and out of NC for 2 of the 4 weeks, post-breakup which has obviously turned her off. She still wears things that I bought for her and hasn't been talking to or hooking up with other people. What do you think of this situation? Edited October 30, 2010 by thekid55
Don Ho Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 I think she actually was the one that broke up with you, but no matter. I think you need to continue NC and move forward with rebuilding your life. Contacting her is obviously working against you. Also, stop reading into things, it doesn't really mean anything. Good luck.
Billie The Puppet Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Sounds like the BU isn't as mutual as you thought as you wouldn't be "caring" like you are now. The FB stuff will come in time, My ex left pictures of us up until 2 weeks ago, however she was with a new guy for at least a month and a half now from what I am told. Rather than removing you should block, blocking won't allow her to show up in friends lists of your mutual friends (if she is not friended on your account but you goto a mutual friends FB you can still see them in list of friends etc) Trust me FB was the only thing I held onto when I went NC and it would have been better off taking it away too. Once I found out she was stringing me along and had a BF I removed her. These are not "signs" the only sign that is worth acting on is if they FLAT OUT tell you Hey I made a mistake I want US to work out again etc. Break down your door type thing.
Capital P Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Its pretty self explanitory dude. You chase, she runs. You need to go NC properly and see what happens. If its a month , two months. When she texts guide her in gradually. Text back a few days later saying you have been busy and you will chat soon. She needs to be given the opportuity to chase. You have smothered her so far
Author thekid55 Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 So you think she'll contact me? She has been all 'I love you' with all of her girlfriends and stuff online.
Banega100 Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I personally don't believe there's any chance of her coming back. BUT, as is always stated, the way to test this is to NOT contact her. Not at all. Just get on with your own business and don't think about her. If she is to come back, then this is the only way. Also, things like wearing jewellery and having pictures up and even appearing sad are just girls being fcking weird. My ex posted pics of me up AFTER we broke up and id deleted her, and she just seems to mope around alot. You can't read into it, because she isn't giving this stuff a second thought, and is probs just wearing your jewellery because she likes it and she forgot you bought it. Sad isnt it? NC anyway mate...
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