ex now giving mixed signals

[brandon9384]

My g/f Brittany of 7 years broke up with me on August 26th of this year. We lived together for the last 2 and a half years. I got a call after work that she wanted me to come by her parents house, so I went there and she told me she was breaking up with me and staying at her parents house.

 

She said we bickered to much and at times I was mean. 2 weeks after the break up I didn't hear much from her. She came by to pick up a few things she forget when she moved out. I was doing the typical begging and pleading for her to come back.

 

September 13th she came by to pick up her mail that was her and I told myself I was going to be cool and calm when she came by. So I did, and I noticed a change in her right then and there. We talked just about normal stuff for a little bit and then we went to mall, and then after we went driving around like we used to. We hung out again a few days later, then starting that Sunday we hung out everyday, 90% of the contact to hang out was initiated by her either calling or texting me out of the blue to hang out and do something together. I had told about this girl at my work that likes me and keeps texting me, and the next day Brittany came up to my work to see me. Which she only did once when we where going out. She came up there to show that girl at my work that I'm with her.

 

During this time we would drive around, go out to eat at our favorite restaurants, see movies, go to haunted houses..etc 3 weeks ago today we went out to a bar and her hairstylist showed up with her boyfriend and they invited us back to there place for some more drinks and go in there hot tub. So the night goes by and they ask us if we want to stay the night, so we do. Me and the ex stayed in there spare bedroom. During that time I asked her if she wanted to make out, she said, "If we do that, you'll think we're back together." I said, "No I won't," then I kiss her and we started making out, she was more passionate then ever during the making out, like running her fingers through my hair, holding me tight, she even put my hand on her down there to play with her while we made out. Then things we're starting to get sexual, and she said we had to stop because she didn't want this. So we stopped and went to bed with her holding me.

 

The next say she still called and asked if I wanted to hang out. So we hung out everyday still. A few days later I asked her if we could talk about "us" when we where out to eat. After we eat we go back to my apartment and I talked to her about it. She looked like she wanted to cry, but she didn't. She said she wasn't saying yes, and she wasn't saying no, that month isn't long enough. So after the talk we go for a drive and I ask if I can put my hand on her leg. She said no because friends don't do that. About a week later of still hanging out everyday, I put my hand on her leg in the car and she didn't move it or say anything. So pretty much everyday we hung out while driving around I would keep doing that and she wouldn't say anything.

 

During the time she would initiate the contact she would even call me from her work to ask me if I wanted to go out to eat or hang out. So during the last 5 weeks of us hanging out she was the mostly initiating contacting with me. This past Sunday we were driving around and I put my hand on hers and she let me. We just continued driving around like that until she got tired and wanted to go home. So the next day, which would be Monday she called me from her work to see what I was up to. We talked for a little bit and I asked her if she wanted to hang out later. She then said that we don't need to spend every waking minute together, and if I think it's going to be like that she'll stop hanging out with me. So she said maybe we can hang out later. She never called and I didn't text her or call her either. I thought that was weird of her to say that since she was the one that called me.

 

The next day at 7:30pm she called me to see what I was up to, we talked for 15 minutes and she asked if I wanted to go for a drive, I said sure and she met me at out apartment to go for a drive. So we just drove around for 2 hours just like nothing. So after we drive around, I gave her a hug and she left to go back to her parents house. I haven't heard nothing from her since Tuesday, no calls or texts. I'm thinking she's sending me these mixed signals like this because she wants to come back to me but she don't know how to tell me. I think the reason she hasn't contacted me since Tuesday is because she is seriously thinking about coming back to me.

 

What do you guys think? She is still paying my cell phone bill since I was on her account, she still has the keys to our apartment on her key ring, she is still wearing the ring I bought her years ago. She isn't seeing anyone because she flat out told me that, and she's been with me for the last 5 weeks, except a few days.

 

Also I should put this in here. Every time after we would hang out when I would drop her off we would hug as I was walking her up to her parents house. A few weeks ago she tried to kiss me but I gave her a hug instead of a kiss because I didn't expect it. I was like, "you tried to kiss me." She didn't say anything. Later that week I hugged her in the car before she got out and she kissed my shoulder.

 

I even went out with her and her friend Tiffany a few weeks ago to a bar. I was talking to Tiffany a few days ago through facebook messaging and she asked me if Brittany and I where back together, I said no and Tiffany told me, You never man, it might work later on. She told me it was real awesome that I was there at Brittanys aunts funeral a few weeks ago to comfort her. Tiffany also told me that she know I love and car about Brittany so much. So I'm thinking she knows something I don't. Like Brittany told her that she is gonna get back with me just a little in the future.

 

Since Brittany is not texting me or calling me now, what should I do? Just start the no contact thing again and see what happens? What do you guys think is going through her head?

Edited October 31, 2010 by brandon9384

[brandon9384]

Anybody got a clue, I'm on my last thread here?

[mohdhm]

I don't know what you should do, if she tried to kiss you, then it is pretty obvious what her intentions are... especially if she didn't say anything after you confronted her about it... why would you start up the NC thing again... and how can you even do that when she has the keys to your place and pays your cellphone bill. It is clear to me she wants to come back, but i'm just some dude on the internet. Trust your instincts.

[brandon9384]

It's just confusing how we've hung out every day for over 5 weeks, and now Tuesday was the last day we hung out. I haven't heard anything from her since.

[brandon9384]

Does anyone else have an opinion on my problem?

[bl22]

Sounds to me like there is something she isnt telling you. Its clear she wants to be in the relationship but i think another part of her feels shes missing out. Probably someone has got into her head and made her doubt what she wants, that tends to be the most often case.

 

Either that or shes done something bad and feels guilty, hence the reason she left suddenly, but doesnt want to leave you as well.

[Cuchara2]

Ummmm it sounds like she's trying to make it easier for herself to leave you tbh. She's getting sex and attention, everything all women want, until maybe she finds someone else to take care of these needs. Leave her, don't go out with her, don't shag her or w/e until she comes to you for an official date, otherwise leave it and move on yourself. It isn't fair on you what she's doing to you!

[brandon9384]

We're not having sex, it was just that one time and it wasn't even sex. She's the one that has been calling me on her own to hang out and go out and do things. She's not the type of person to use me like that. So I'm all question marks right now.

[9Lives]

She got u in limbo and has all the control. Walking a tight rope. Been thre, done that...HATED IT! So basically SHE calls ALL the shots..when she wants to hang, u hang. When she wants to sex. When she this and that..its all bullsht

 

Look at the crime scene..lol

 

She TREATING you like you are her man but she once again said u not together. So what the hell are u suppose to do?

 

My ez keep me in limbo and in the meantime, meet another chic, and then left me. Sht hurt like hell and still to this day bothers me. She is either in or out.

 

Your letting her have the pull.push rel with u. The revolving door sydrome...all that bull. She playing with u dog.

 

I would start dating. You are single according to old girl. She can't say sht. She left u. Now she wants u by her side for HER own selfish reason.

 

TIME to put on your ALPHA hat!

Here are the rules..if U wan to hang, u will

If U want to date ..u will

If U want the hotty at work to come by or whatever..u will

Its your show now...not we but u..

 

 

Now if missy wants to step up the game, then ask her what's up. You are not a ken doll. You a man, ACT like it. Mann up

 

I been in your shoes and it fk me up real bad. Don't live in gray when your heart is on the line. She can't have a cake and eat it too. Be good to yourself.

Edited October 31, 2010 by 9Lives

[brandon9384]

I have sent her texts to hang out and she said yeah. I bought her a puppy at the end of September, and it stays with me because her parents don't want it there yet. So she came by this morning to bring it food, and before she left I gave her a hug again and grabbed her butt with both hands, and then she tried to kiss me, she caught herself and said, "that was awkward." So i was like let me try again, and grabbed her butt again, lol. But she did give me a kiss on the cheek before she left. So who knows. She's not the type to play me like that. I think she knows she can come back to me when she wants so it's easier on her, than it is on me. She texted me this morning at 10:30 saying she's gonna get the puppy food, and asked me if I wanted anything from tim hortons.

[9Lives]

Well I'm not saying don't work it out but I am saying be very careful. I'm mean what was awkward? what is she doing? Why did she move out? I'm in your corner and I'm asking u to be careful with these so called situations. My ex did all that and still left me. It was so painful

[brandon9384]

Well I'm not saying don't work it out but I am saying be very careful. I'm mean what was awkward? what is she doing? Why did she move out? I'm in your corner and I'm asking u to be careful with these so called situations. My ex did all that and still left me. It was so painful

 

She said it was awkward when she went to kiss me. She broke up with me and moved out because she said I bickered to much about stuff and said I was mean at times. She tells me about stuff she did recently and stuff she's doing in the future, like going to florida to visit her aunt, and going to see the Trans Siberian Orchestra on wednsday with her mom and sister. Today she told me she's going to her aunts for her birthday. Just little stuff. Just at times I don't know because we hung out everyday for over 5 weeks except 3 days until sunday, now I've hung out with her on Tuesday and that was it. Except she did come by this morning on her own. Like the whole trying to kiss me thing throws me off, it seems like she wants me back, it's just she waiting to do it on her own time and when she's ready. She's not seeing anyone else, when she is very pretty and easily could. So it seems like she's stuck on me still and is just confused.

Edited October 31, 2010 by brandon9384

[9Lives]

Oh and by the way..the name of this thread is ex now giving mixed signals

 

Are the signals mor clear now?

 

Oh I get it, she is responding and talking to u now so the signals are clear again. Okay..your winning.

 

Wishing u the best!

[brandon9384]

I can text her or call anytime and she'll call back, it's just I'm unsure at times, like right now. I'm just wondering what she is waiting for. My theory is that she is now seriously thinking about coming back and just needs time to herself to think about it. We've known each other for 8 years and dated for over 7. The day she left me, was the day the engagement ring came in that I was gonna buy her.

 

What do you mean that the signs are more clear now, and that I'm winning?

[9Lives]

She said it was awkward when she went to kiss me. She broke up with me and moved out because she said I bickered to much about stuff and said I was mean at times. She tells me about stuff she did recently and stuff she's doing in the future, like going to florida to visit her aunt, and going to see the Trans Siberian Orchestra on wednsday with her mom and sister. Today she told me she's going to her aunts for her birthday. Just little stuff. Just at times I don't know because we hung out everyday for over 5 weeks except 3 days until sunday, now I've hung out with her on Tuesday and that was it. Except she did come by this morning on her own. Like the whole trying to kiss me thing throws me off, it seems like she wants me back, it's just she waiting to do it on her own time and when she's ready. She's not seeing anyone else, when she is very pretty and easily could. So it seems like she's stuck on me still and is just confused.

 

Brandon, just be careful...pls. she is acting like u are still together and maybe needed to clear the air so y'all wouldn't argue so much. I just don't want u to get played. It seems like she is on board but watch her actions. Pls be careful

[brandon9384]

What do you suggest I do? I don't want to find someone else if she is still keeping almost daily contact with me, and if she is wanting to get back with me. I've read that if your trying to get back with an ex that you should stay away from other girls.

[9Lives]

I can text her or call anytime and she'll call back, it's just I'm unsure at times, like right now. I'm just wondering what she is waiting for. My theory is that she is now seriously thinking about coming back and just needs time to herself to think about it. We've known each other for 8 years and dated for over 7. The day she left me, was the day the engagement ring came in that I was gonna buy her.

 

What do you mean that the signs are more clear now, and that I'm winning?

 

8 years is a long time and that is good. It seems like she is working her way back to u. I would keep dealing with her but with both eyes open. She is spending time with family and not hanging out so that's good too. Just be watchul

[9Lives]

What do you suggest I do? I don't want to find someone else if she is still keeping almost daily contact with me, and if she is wanting to get back with me. I've read that if your trying to get back with an ex that you should stay away from other girls.

 

Yes..u love her and she loves u BUT she was strong enough to get her things and leave! I say if she is calling u and seeing u that that is a good sign and it could work out. Give it more time. Check her out and hopeful, she will be home soon and the rel will be even stronger! Time will tell. Wishing u the best

[brandon9384]

Time will tell, and it's driving me nuts, lol. Back in September I talked to a psychic about it, and she said she'll want to come back by Halloween. This psychic told me stuff like the name of Brittanys best friend Tiffany. Brittany even has our pictures together on her facebook still. She hasn't been hanging out with other guys to my knowledge cause we hung out everyday for over 5 weeks. She has went and hung out with a film crew a few weeks ago we where associated with last year. She did tell me today that on Monday she went and had drinks with a guy she used to work with because his girlfriend broke up with him, and she went to his halloween party last night before going over her aunts. But, she has no interest in him like that, I know for sure, and he isn't her type anyway, just an old work friend.

Edited October 31, 2010 by brandon9384

[brandon9384]

Does anyone else have an opinion?

[cozenedindigo]

She got u in limbo and has all the control. Walking a tight rope. Been thre, done that...HATED IT! So basically SHE calls ALL the shots..when she wants to hang, u hang. When she wants to sex. When she this and that..its all bullsht

 

Look at the crime scene..lol

 

She TREATING you like you are her man but she once again said u not together. So what the hell are u suppose to do?

 

My ez keep me in limbo and in the meantime, meet another chic, and then left me. Sht hurt like hell and still to this day bothers me. She is either in or out.

 

Your letting her have the pull.push rel with u. The revolving door sydrome...all that bull. She playing with u dog.

 

I would start dating. You are single according to old girl. She can't say sht. She left u. Now she wants u by her side for HER own selfish reason.

 

TIME to put on your ALPHA hat!

Here are the rules..if U wan to hang, u will

If U want to date ..u will

If U want the hotty at work to come by or whatever..u will

Its your show now...not we but u..

 

 

Now if missy wants to step up the game, then ask her what's up. You are not a ken doll. You a man, ACT like it. Mann up

 

I been in your shoes and it fk me up real bad. Don't live in gray when your heart is on the line. She can't have a cake and eat it too. Be good to yourself.

 

Amen, sister!

[brandon9384]

I haven't been contacting her on my own, she's the one that calls or text me to hang out. We haven't hung out since last Tuesday. She did stop by Sunday to bring our puppy over some dog food because I texted her and told her the puppy needs food. She was being really nice, and acting like normal and a little more flirty also. She showed me her new nail polish she put on, she unboxed her new purse she bought off amazon and had it shipped here to my/our apartment. It would be so easy for her to change the address to her parents address on amazon, but she got it shipped here instead. I even squeezed her butt twice when we hugged before she left. She even tried to kiss me, then caught herself, but I told her she could kiss me on the cheek and she did. Do you think because she is not hanging out with me now that she is seriously thinking about taking me back and needs time to herself to think about it, because I asked her if I did something wrong because we haven't hung out in 4 days and she said no.

Edited November 2, 2010 by brandon9384

[brandon9384]

I still haven't heard from her since Sunday.

[9Lives]

I still haven't heard from her since Sunday.

 

why not Mr. Nice Guy?

[reknown29]

Im in a similar boat. I love my ex to death. I would have done anything for her. She dumped me said she has been dating other guys. Its been two onths and now she wants to hang out all the time. We have intimate contact each time, kissing etc. and then she says were not getting back, but she contacts me everyday. Its hard but I have finally gone NC. Maybe one of the hardest things Ive ever done but I have to think of myself. Dont put yourself in a situation where you will get played! You will not lose her because you went NC. She will make it clear when she wants to get back with you. Go no contact for a little days longer than the most nc you have had with her so far. You'll be surprised how how much more she will want you. Then you probably wont want her cause youll realize its all sadly just a game.

 

Were just a couple romantic dudes because of our upbringing. It may be good to harden up a little. Listen to Outkast (a love below). It helped me through this week.