shayan Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 look guys, I know mourning is good and nessecary to heal. But, for those of who feel like it's been too long for you too feel awful, well then you may be prolonging the process by focusing on your loss. Alot of you may feel that it is hard to stop thinking about them, hard to focus, and that once something reminds you of them you fall into a trance. Here's the deal, you can't stop thinking about something, your neurons don't work like that. In fact when you tell yourself stop thinking about it you still reinforce your behavior. Because stop thinking about it, well... is thinking about it. You see the neural pathway is reinforced. what you can do is focus on something else. You see. Try to re-invest your un-requited love into yourself, new passions, activities, desires, education, new people, etc. Once you start focusing on the new, the old neural pathways are de-activated by default. Physiologically that's how it works, I'm telling you I've studied neuroscience for years now. so if it feels like it's been too long you may try re-investing yourself in new endeavors, things which fuel your passion. You may try meditating and visualizing a new life for yourself. You may work on your dating game and get better and finding new women, or men. Whatever it is keep yourself busy. In farsi my native tongue, we say that being 'becar' kills during a breakup. 'Becar' literally means you have no work to do, you have to do your best to occupy your mind with new things, and it will help you heal.
rebeccajones Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Thanks. I'm supposed to be working tonight but lately I can not focus, maybe I should have gone to a party instead but I need to get work done. I need to try to meditate and visualize! Thanks Shayan!
stopthemadness Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 look guys, I know mourning is good and nessecary to heal. But, for those of who feel like it's been too long for you too feel awful, well then you may be prolonging the process by focusing on your loss. Alot of you may feel that it is hard to stop thinking about them, hard to focus, and that once something reminds you of them you fall into a trance. Here's the deal, you can't stop thinking about something, your neurons don't work like that. In fact when you tell yourself stop thinking about it you still reinforce your behavior. Because stop thinking about it, well... is thinking about it. You see the neural pathway is reinforced. what you can do is focus on something else. You see. Try to re-invest your un-requited love into yourself, new passions, activities, desires, education, new people, etc. Once you start focusing on the new, the old neural pathways are de-activated by default. Physiologically that's how it works, I'm telling you I've studied neuroscience for years now. so if it feels like it's been too long you may try re-investing yourself in new endeavors, things which fuel your passion. You may try meditating and visualizing a new life for yourself. You may work on your dating game and get better and finding new women, or men. Whatever it is keep yourself busy. In farsi my native tongue, we say that being 'becar' kills during a breakup. 'Becar' literally means you have no work to do, you have to do your best to occupy your mind with new things, and it will help you heal. Thanks, that all made perfect sence..Gona try it right now. (smile)
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