iamawesome Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Just curious, lets say you were dating a girl for three years and you did something incredibly stupid to hurt her and end the relationship. She then rebounds her ex. After NC, if she said she still loves you and wanted to give things another try, would you do it knowing you have changed for the better? Is it still possible to have success after this? Just wondering.
strength-abounds Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Honestly, I doubt it. All you're going to end up being is the rebound of the rebound.
Hhhh Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Well if you did something stupid it is your fault she threw herself to another persons arm I think you should play hard to get start off slow and communicate a lot you guys should be fine
tbird509 Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 hell no,that means she still had feelings for him the whole time.i dont care even if they just kissed,it would never be the same.besides divorce is 50/50 so would you get on a plane with those odds,second chances odds are even worse
Author iamawesome Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 tbird509, I disagree with your comment. For one, its a very "westernized" perspective on sexual relations. Sex is pretty meaningless without romance, which takes time to develop real sensuality. Highly doubt this is possible in a rebound. I think its very wrong to place emphasis on sexual relations over romance in the first place. After all, it's little boys who obsess over sex. Real men seek to capture and keep the heart. Anyone can do sex it is not that big of a deal -- it is like the animal in us. Romance the evolution of that animal. I understand you say that a rebound means that she has feelings for another man. That is laughable my friend. The only feelings she are expressing are the feelings of hurt and the pain she is trying to comfort. If she goes to her ex, its because she wants something familiar. Once she heals, he will be gone. Why? Because there is no romance. A man cannot capture a womens heart when it is still broken, he can only grab a small piece (if he is good). Rebounds almost always fail and they are used for coping. It says more about the guy then it does about the women (who are often more emotional than men and seek comfort from others more than men). This man is like a child if he is looking for anything more than sex and he is still like a child because he should know the sex without the heart is not very good sex. Maybe good exercise. Also, I am sorry that your country has a 50% divorce rate. The divorce rate in my Eastern European country is 6%. Japan is very modern and has tremendous western influence. It's divorce rate is 2-3%. My friend stop flying American Airlines you are going to die either before getting there or on your way back. @strength-abounds. This is what I was wondering. I guess a better question is do girls coming out of rebound relationships -- are they usually "healed" or still "hurt". I do not want to perpetuate the problem by assuming she is healed and ready. Typically a man in this situation is healed. @Hhhh, strength-abounds is saying most women are still hurt even after a rebound and hence I would be another rebound. That would be true if I had sex right away with her after another man. I cannot do that if I am in love with her because I have to recapture the heart. That cannot be done with sex. Do you really think communicating with her is good idea while she is with another man? After all, how can she heal if she is still reminded of my hurt? I think this may only confuse her and hurt her more. Counter-productive maybe. Thank you for your time.
Capital P Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I think dude. When u look at this a few years from now you will see it objectively. The problem is that because u want her back u are looking at everything she has done in a positive light and down to your behaviour. This is because u want an excuse to forgive her. When as it is, shes **** you off , ****ed her ex and is still ****ing him. Take a good long think and imagine those two screwing. Over and over again. Her calling his name, telling him to do it harder. Them kissing and then hugging afterwards as thought it was when they were going out Then decide if this is your fault or not
pandagirl Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Even though I am personally pretty chaste and old-fashioned when it comes to sex (I don't like having meaningless sex), I think when two people breakup, they are free to do as they please. If this includes dating someone else, so be it. Most of the time, rebounds are just to fill an emotional void. I think it's a pretty common human instinct. If my ex and I were to get back together ever, I would only be cautious if he developed real feelings for another person during our time apart. If it was just a fling, then I wouldn't have much of a issue with it.
Capital P Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 From what i gather though she is still screwing the other guy and this dude is on here trying to explain to us why she is angel and this is all his fault. And its all the fault of American Airlines apparently. Sometimes mate, they screw someone else and enjoy it. And they break up with people to move on. Seeing as she is still seeing her ex by all accounts , and hasnt been in contact you need to man up and start looking into the situation for what has happened. She left you , for her ex, they are still screwing, she hasnt been in contact. Work on yourself, stop worrying about what is happening
Author iamawesome Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 From what i gather though she is still screwing the other guy and this dude is on here trying to explain to us why she is angel and this is all his fault. And its all the fault of American Airlines apparently. Sometimes mate, they screw someone else and enjoy it. And they break up with people to move on. Seeing as she is still seeing her ex by all accounts , and hasnt been in contact you need to man up and start looking into the situation for what has happened. She left you , for her ex, they are still screwing, she hasnt been in contact. Work on yourself, stop worrying about what is happening I guess I should have been clear in my original post, this is not actually happening to me. It was a hypothetical. I wanted to solicit people's opinions on post-rebound relationships. I apologize if I came across as blaming "American Airlines". It was not my intent. I just respectfully disagreed in the sense that I believe an opinion formed on statistics of divorce rates in America is not a very solid position to take because it is dismissive. Its great to have perspective though thank you.
Author iamawesome Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 I should also disclose that while I tend to be more in pandagirls line of thinking, I did recently go through a break-up that involved my girlfriend rebounding with an ex, however, I did not take her back because the romance was already dead near the end of the relationship and I didn't see her being in my future. Still, it hit me hard to find out WHO she was actually rebounding with. So in a real world situation I def. see the value of your advice Capital P.
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