serenemind Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Hi All, Here’s my story…. Sorry it’s a very long one. I have been married to my wife for 4.5 yrs. We met in college; I was doing my masters at that time and my wife doing her Bachelors. It was love at first sight for me and I was the one who approached her. Soon enough we became good friends and spent a lot of time together. I was very fun loving and wanted to do something big in life kind of guy, on the other hand my wife was very sad and moody. After becoming a little closer to her I came to know that my wife was abused by her dad when she was young (maybe she 14-15). She told me that he touched her inappropriately when she was asleep. Her dad admitted this and basically never ever did anything like that again. After what happened with her dad my wife was always confused and tried to seek answers. A few years passed and she got into College and moved out of her parents’ house. This is when things got really worse. She met a guy who was a self-proclaiming religious teacher or whatever. This ******* took advantage of my wife’s mental status and sexually abused her. My wife believed that this guy was some god and would solve all her problems. This went on for a while and then her parents found out about this and brought her to back to their place. My wife went through a lot. She was diagnosed as Bipolar by some psychiatrists and a person with border line personality disorder by others. She went through psychotherapy and later recovered and takes medicines even to this date. After she came back from college, she basically joined a local community college where she met another guy. This guy basically was her bf and they hung out together for a few days. She had a physical relationship with this guy and even he ditched her after what he got. At this point my wife was pretty much shattered and was barely able to make it. It took a while for her to become normal again and was living with her parents and brother. This is when I met her and fell in love with her. When I came to know her past I cried a lot and felt horrible. In spite of all these I decided to marry her and we ended up marrying 5 months after we met without telling our parents. Things became a little complicated after her parents came to know that we were married. And there were a lot of situations where I and her parents ended arguing. She was still living with her parents at that time. Slowly things started getting better….I dropped out of college and got a job in North Carolina. She was still in Texas finish up her Undergrad. Then after an year she finished her college and moved to NC to live with me. We started off very well as I had a good job and also since we never lived together things were really exciting. After 3 months I lost my job but fortunately I was able to get a better job although we had to cancel our lease, move to a different city and all that stuff. We were very happy for a year with minor arguments and stuff like any other couple. She was mentally and physically healthy and things were pretty good. Every now and then she had a relapse and we would end up depending on her parents. Either her mom used to come to NC or my wife use to go to Texas for a few days. After that things were normal again. My wife left 3 jobs because she couldn’t handle the pressure and also because of her erratic behavior employers find it very hard dealing with someone like her. All of a sudden one day in January 2010 I came to know that my wife was talking frequently to the self-proclaimed religious teacher who abused her in the past. She still believes that he is God and all that ****.This just shattered me and I was emotionally broken. I never even thought that something like that would ever happen. I confronted her and things started falling apart. She had another relapse and then finally became normal after a few sessions with psychiatrist and medicines. She then promised that she would never do such things again and never contact that guy again. From Jan 2010 to Oct 11 2010 was probably the best phase of my married life. We had so much fun and understood each other. She got a good job and we were busy with our professional lives. We drove to work together & spent a lot of time together and also bought a house. She is my best friend, lover, wife and everything to me as she is the only one I have in this country. (My family lives in a different country)We had great times together and tears roll out of my eyes when I think of those times. On oct 11th I came to know that she broke her promise and contacted this guy again. I confronted her and had an argument (Absolutely nothing physical). She left me and went back to texas to her parents and has been living with them since then. I am shattered, heartbroken and really really hurt. She is all I wanted in life….she is the love of my life. I adore her and life without her seems impossible. I am crying even now while I am writing this. Even she knows that nobody loves her like I do and even today she tells me that she trusts me more than she trusts herself. We are still talking to each other and she has told me that she doesn’t want to break up with me and has promised again that she will never ever do that again. She is supposed to comeback in a few days. My fear is that she is very inconsistent in what she says and does. One day she will say that she wants to come back and the other day she says she doesn’t know. I am living minute by minute. Weekends are horrible and all I do is sit and cry and think about her. I look at her pics and our videos together and count every second till she calls. Dear all what do u think I should do. How do I overcome this situation…will I ever be happy again?
coltsfan1 Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 to be honest I don't think you over come the sitiuation, I think that she has some issues and the ball is in her court.. She knows that you love her, that you are willing to commit (marriage), and that her life is better with you in it. Now she has to choose that life and do the right thing!! My advice is to let her know how you feel and not speak to her for a bit. Allow her to see life without you, she might choose life with you over life without. But be prepared cause she might choose life without you. It really isn't in your hands anymore. This might not be what you want to hear but it is what I believe to be the truth! Good luck, I hope you to are able to work through things!!
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