mogul Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Every weekend when im out with friends clubbing or bar hoppping, I have no issue attracting women, getting numbers, hooking up, and possibly setting something up for later in the week. The women are fine and keep me entertained at times, but few actually keep my attention or would be someone I am interested in pursuing a relationship with. Nothing wrong with this, but personally I would not like to meet a potential gf at the club. Obviously if I could attract women whenever i'm out, I must be somewhat attractive and have been told that I am quite fun and have a great personality to make them want to see me again after the club. Why do I not randomly meet people when i'm out with my day to day life. As in work(aside from colleagues), running errands, or even book stores/coffee shops when i'm getting work done. I'm not proactive about it, but I feel its really different. How do women like to be approached in day to day situations? Is it just the fact that I seem to attract high maintenance women or what? What can I do to change this? Thanks.
Surrealist Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Not sure but if they aren't too busy, probably in similar fashion. I understand your concern I think though, as you may feel you don't want to interrupt women while during their day-to-day activities. You don't seem like the type to have any troubles with getting dates so if a girl shows attention, then maybe just ask for her number on the run or something.
Author mogul Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 Does anyone else have this problem?
joeLove Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Sometimes, you meet people through friends of friends ... In that case, the contact is so much easier. I think you seem too focus on "searching for a g/f" versus just focusing on looking to make friends and expand your friend's circle. Here are a couple of suggestions: -Joint a gym and take some of the classes that they offer in the gym like Yoga, Zumba, -Join a meet up group and learn another language or meet with people who have interesting hobbies like running, mountain biking, wine drinking, photography, traveling ... -Take dancing lessons (Latin Dance the likes). These are usually full with plenty of single women. The advantage of these thing is you might meet some people on a regular basis (and not a one time thing) and it makes it much easier to build a good foundation.
Author mogul Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 Not sure but if they aren't too busy, probably in similar fashion. I understand your concern I think though, as you may feel you don't want to interrupt women while during their day-to-day activities. You don't seem like the type to have any troubles with getting dates so if a girl shows attention, then maybe just ask for her number on the run or something. I'd like to think that I can read people pretty well, but whenever I get smiles or what not I just assume they are being friendly because I do that all the time as well. I also have a fear of getting rejected in such a public place.
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 First liners that have been used on me recently that have worked... 'hey, I thought you were really cute and I'm thinking you should put your digits into my phone '. Whilst shopping at a department store. This guy was HOT so it worked lol 'my friend over there and I made a bet. I said that I'd be able to get your number and he said I wouldn't be able to. I was hoping you would help me win...' City I was about to walk across a quiet road and wasn't paying attention and realised there was a car coming so I stopped. The guy let me pass and smiled. He then pulled down his window and yelled out to me. 'Hey, I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't ask for your number!' (He didn't get it as he was a bit older than I usually go for but it easily could have if he was a bit younger) Out excercising a guy on his bike pulled up next to me. 'Hey, I don't mean to stare but I was just wondering what your background is??' You can approach people anywhere and everywhere. I am definitely impressed by people who come up with something a bit unique and original but confidence goes a LONG way. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, just go for it you.
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 (edited) Does anyone else have this problem? you can't just expect girls to flock to you. No matter how good looking you are, girls will probably not approach you, so you have to initiate. I promise you, you will see results if you approach women during the day. It's ballsy and shows confidence. It helps if you're decent looking, and it sounds like you are. You have nothing to lose. watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUzgGrxsc2Q&feature=related Edited November 2, 2010 by loverofloveandstuff
Author mogul Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUzgGrxsc2Q&feature=related LOL, I know what you're talking about. I have never believed in the PUA movement that many guys swear by. I see these approaches by guys on women in the club, and I usually just laugh at them and start a convo with the women about it after they reject them. I think its too cliche or corny, I would much prefer to just let it be natural though I wish women gave more direct clues or signals. Does that pua stuff actually work on women? How would you respond if a guy approached you in a manner similar to that in the video?
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 LOL, I know what you're talking about. I have never believed in the PUA movement that many guys swear by. I see these approaches by guys on women in the club, and I usually just laugh at them and start a convo with the women about it after they reject them. I think its too cliche or corny, I would much prefer to just let it be natural though I wish women gave more direct clues or signals. Does that pua stuff actually work on women? How would you respond if a guy approached you in a manner similar to that in the video? mogul, you are NOT going to get any clues from women if they don't even see you. Half of the men that approach me in the day, I would never have even noticed if they didn't approach me. lol, as for the video. I only saw them recently but I am pretty much CERTAIN a couple of the guys I have met used this 'technique' on me. It worked. If you're attractive enough and you have the balls to approach, I don't think it matters much what you say. You don't have to be a great conversationalist, although that always helps.
Author mogul Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 mogul, you are NOT going to get any clues from women if they don't even see you. Half of the men that approach me in the day, I would never have even noticed if they didn't approach me. Do you go clubbing? How do you think the approach differs? What usually works for you if a guy is hitting on you at a club? If you were to give a guy your number at a club, would you give it to him while you're out in the day? I just don't know why I don't really have any issues while out at night, though I am alot more proactive, where as in the day time I am shy because it seems everyone is always busy and the last thing on a woman's mind is getting hit on.
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Do you go clubbing? How do you think the approach differs? What usually works for you if a guy is hitting on you at a club? If you were to give a guy your number at a club, would you give it to him while you're out in the day? I just don't know why I don't really have any issues while out at night, though I am alot more proactive, where as in the day time I am shy because it seems everyone is always busy and the last thing on a woman's mind is getting hit on. When people go to clubs, they usually go with atleast some intention of hooking up/meeting someone. Also, a little bit of social lubricant (alcohol) always helps the confidence for the men and the looseness of the ladies. It is much more common for guys to approach women at clubs than in day to day life. It takes a lot more for a guy to actually stop a girl in the day time when she is out and about, probably busy and the setting is not a social one. Also, most girls would probably expect to be approached at a club/bar whereas not many would expect to be approached during the day. There is definitely more pressure for the guy imo. However, unexpected flattery is always nice and you will definitely get points for that. A guy at a club is usually with some mates. They'll come over as a group (or in a pair) and say something like 'what are you ladies up to tonight?' 'are you girls having a good night? i was just about to head over and get a drink... would you like one?' Because you have the support of your mates when you're out, that makes things quite a bit easier too. It does not matter if a guy hits on me during the day or at night in a club. If he approaches me in the right manner, I'm attracted to him and he is charming enough, I will give him my number. This is probably not at all accurate but it's just the way I feel. When I get approached at a club, most of the time I'm thinking 'okay, this guy probably just wants to get laid.' During the day, I'm thinking 'that was sweet and took confidence... I should give him a chance.'
Author mogul Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 I randomly struck up a conversation with the girl behind me at Starbucks today and got her drink. She was smiling, responsive and asked questions. I just couldn't bring myself to ask for her number because I don't want to be one of those guys that mistaken a girl being nice for interest. Pretty sure I missed out because she kept smiling to me as she walked out. =/
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I randomly struck up a conversation with the girl behind me at Starbucks today and got her drink. She was smiling, responsive and asked questions. I just couldn't bring myself to ask for her number because I don't want to be one of those guys that mistaken a girl being nice for interest. Pretty sure I missed out because she kept smiling to me as she walked out. =/ Damn bro! I bet you she would've given you her number had you asked. Oh well, good on you for starting a conversation. You've got it in the bag for next time.
Author mogul Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 Damn bro! I bet you she would've given you her number had you asked. Oh well, good on you for starting a conversation. You've got it in the bag for next time. Is there any way to distinguish between someone being nice and interested? I really would prefer it to be the other way around, me getting dates from women during the day instead of from the club. Sounds a lot classier..? lol check your inbox btw, thanks for all the input.
TheMENemy Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Mogul: I'd go back to that Starbucks if I were you.
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Is there any way to distinguish between someone being nice and interested? I really would prefer it to be the other way around, me getting dates from women during the day instead of from the club. Sounds a lot classier..? lol check your inbox btw, thanks for all the input. Yes and no. It is sometimes difficult to gather if somebody is interested or being nice in the short space of time that you will talk to them. Take a risk and just ask for their number and you will soon find out. Although disappointing, it doesn't even matter if they don't end up giving you their number... no shame, you probably won't ever see them again anyway. And if they do, well that's great!
Author mogul Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 Mogul: I'd go back to that Starbucks if I were you. I actually go to that starbucks quite often. Swear by the white chocolate mocha and green tea. Maybe i'll see her again... Yes and no. It is sometimes difficult to gather if somebody is interested or being nice in the short space of time that you will talk to them. I think that is why I like the club/bar scene alot more. Its alot more direct and women usually give off signs like smiling, stares, or dancing on you as you walk by.
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