D-Lish Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 As I said before, I think it's possible you could be over reacting to this situation. If he had plans to go away anyway this weekend, it doesn't change the fact that he decided to go see a friend instead of his sister- you wouldn't have seen him this weekend anyway. Simply going away for the weekend and seeing his friend's isn't in any way a slight against you. Were I in your shoes, I would have planned something fun for myself to do this weekend! Instead, you've spent the entire weekend obsessing over when he's going to call, what he's doing, waiting to hear from him. Please don't make the mistake of being upset with him when he gets back- or punishing him (as someone else suggested) by not returning his next call for 24 hours- because he hasn't done anything wrong by having a fun weekend with his buddies. After a month and a half- you guys are still getting to know one another, so don't expect too much too soon. Just go with the flow. When you talk to him just tell him you had a great weekend, tell him you're happy he had fun- and when you see him, make the most of the time you spend together. It's really natural to have doubts, to wonder what he's thinking, what he's doing when he isn't with you. But don't give into those fears, and try not to read too much into him going away for the weekend.
Author colliejoanie Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 Well, I did have his number after all. So, I decided (foolishly perhaps) that I'd send him a text tonight. "hey!! how was your weekend. We had a blast with all the halloween activities, and the weather was gorgeous!!" That was an hour ago. Still nothing. I'm really not one to play games, so I took the advice of one of the posters here, and just contacted him. I guess I have my answer if he doesn't contact me by tomorrow. I just really never thought he was this kind of person. I've even thought "maybe he lost his phone". But he has other ways of getting a hold of me. People continue to surprise me in this new world of dating. Oh well, again.......I learned some valuable lessons in this short time. Mostly, what I can do differently. And you can bet your sweet bippy, I will!!!
dispatch3d Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 it's been an hour. That text message shouldnt be so important that if he doesn't respond in an hour that you take a fit. Chill out with this stuff you'll feel a lot better overall, have less anxiety, etc.
sultry33 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Any update? I agree with 3d here though, you do need to chill out a bit. Personally I dont reply straight away sometimes for days.. but then thats me:D I guess if its unusual for him to be like this then yea.. be guarding your heart.
Author colliejoanie Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 Update: I got a text at 11 pm last night saying he just got home. I responded with "oh wow! I hope you had a blast". He said "yep it was mostly a blast". Me: "hope you get some sleep tonight". Him: "yeah, me too". That's the last of it. Normally we'd have been talking all day today. I would have gotten a Happy Monday text. I know everyone thinks I'm crazy, but this is definitely different behavior. I'm just going to back WAY off and see what he does. No more anxiety for me Thanks for all the feedback!!!
stillafool Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I think you should just relax and enjoy yourself while he is away. Who knows what happened that caused him to have a spontaneous change of plans. That is what being single is all about. You didn't say the two of you are exclusive and you have only been dating 6 weeks. Don't make a big deal out of this if you want to be exclusive with this guy.
LondonS Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Update: I got a text at 11 pm last night saying he just got home. I responded with "oh wow! I hope you had a blast". He said "yep it was mostly a blast". Me: "hope you get some sleep tonight". Him: "yeah, me too". That's the last of it. Normally we'd have been talking all day today. I would have gotten a Happy Monday text. I know everyone thinks I'm crazy, but this is definitely different behavior. I'm just going to back WAY off and see what he does. No more anxiety for me Thanks for all the feedback!!! yeah the guy I was talking about, he texted 5 am this morning too...I,ll probably respond, not sure. He has disrecpected me by blatantly ignoring me whilst he was online... now he can wait and I,ll probably just ask him to meet instead of getting into a text game.
sanskrit Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 This is why getting into a daily contact routine before there is exclusivity in place can cause you undue angst. Keep that in mind for the future and hopefully you can avoid bad feelings entering into a time that is supposed to be light and fun. Also, would consider lining up some other options, and going out with others, as it is apparent you two aren't on the same page yet.
Author colliejoanie Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 Yet another update: Well, I was justified in thinking something had changed......he found out Friday that his ex-live in girlfriend of four years (they broke up in June) had cheated on him multiple times. He called tonight to tell me that, and told me all the back story. He also said that he was questioning his choice in girlfriends since 90% of the women he's dated in the past 15 years have cheated on him. I didn't really know what to say to that, but was very sympathetic and understanding. I never questioned him about anything. Now, friends I think I'm going to gracefully bow out of this relationship. There has been way too much anxiety on my part, I'm chalking it up to it being my first dating experience in 10 years, and the fact that my confidence has a tendency to dwell in the gutter........this experience is helping me with that, unbelievably.....I know what NOT to do. Also, he obviously has some unresolved issues he's dealing with as well, and I can't be his "friend". The fact that he told me he always chooses the wrong women and is questioning his own judgement really weirded me out.......why would he say that to me???? I've been friend zoned, I think.
eerie_reverie Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Well, at least you know your gut instinct was right. I personally would back the fcvk off. His exes cheating on him are not your problem to solve.
Author colliejoanie Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 And by bowing out, I mean I am no longer invested like I was. I'm not going to make him the priority that I was making him. I'm actually going to be an adult about this......woooooh hooooooo!! I'm giving him his space and I'm going to work on mine!! Thanks again everyone!!!!
Author colliejoanie Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 I personally would back the fcvk off. His exes cheating on him are not your problem to solve. You're absolutely right. I think this is a case of two people NOT being ready for relationships.......and crashing head on!!!!!!
Recommended Posts