9Lives Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 I will be the FIRST to admit that in my last realationship...I was weak weak weak. I didn't start off that way but didn't protect myself and my self respect. Just too open and trusting. Got played. My bad...but I'm a better woman behind the experience. I'm good now meaning I got it. So NOW my dating experience is totally different. My emotions are not high. I listen more and desire less. I watch behavior and look for motives. I'm indifferent with a take it or leave it attitude. I'm sexy and attractive but not easily read anymore. I'm not stiff but I'm not in any rush to get to the jump off. What I'm seeing is that some men start to feel insecure with my swag. Some men step back and show more respect and try to treat me more classier. Its just interesting. Now 3 men want to get serious and exclusive with me and I'm like wow! Bottom line is when I'm dating we both want something. I want sex too but I want respect more. Love is not enough. Fk love to a certain degree. When love was what I put first, my emotions got toyed with cause emotions weaken your mind. Don't get it twisted emotions can be a good thing but when its at my expense...it has to be carefully cared for. Now I am a woman! Not a girl. Not a chicken head. Not a toy. A woman! My ex was a alpha man so he needed to be put in his place so many times but I was so inlove and so weak that I didn't respect my self. Now I know men like a woman who loves them and respects herself and is not down for whatever in the name of love. I'm alpha! So what's up fellas? Are women u meet weak, strong,easy, respectful? What make u want to make her your chic?
Author 9Lives Posted October 30, 2010 Author Posted October 30, 2010 (edited) A lot of women complain that men are intimidated by assertive women. Well, actually being a little bit intimidating is very good because that means you have their respect. But the trade-off for being respected is that you cant be too passive because less men are going to approach you. So its your choice. My uncle told me that. He said a man needs to have respect for his woman. A man likes a strong woman. Not one who takes over or is out to dominate him or take him over but a woman who can hold her own. A woman that is down for whatever....wwill get whatever. I notice too that the men I been dating text me first thing in the morning which is okay if its not too early. I'm at a point where I don't want u on my mind first thing in the morning. I got to focus and get mind my right to conquer the task ahead. Then if I don't respond right away, thry get nervous. Like I'm rejecting them. I'm not rejecting u, I'm busy. Another thing I noticed is I want u to ask me out to have a good time with u. My not interested. In sitting on the phone a lot at first. Call me up and say, 9 would u like to meet me for dinner or iwould u like to check out a comedy show or let meet to watch a game. Be doing something. Let's have fun. Invite me to breakfast. Invitee me to the movies. Make me want to pick up that phone. Make me excited to see u. Make me fantanize about u. Don't get me wrong, I have had some nice dates lately. Men cooking foe me. Taking me to five star restuarants, wanting to take me on a trips. Taking me to professional football games ...I have to admit....right now I'm not meeting a man who excites me. I haven't slept with any of them either. Maybe my heart in in my pants,,,LOL! Just kiddin Edited October 30, 2010 by 9Lives
Woggle Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 I agree that in order to be successful with men you need to learn how to understand us. Men are complex than you think and a woman who can learn and appreciate those complexities will have no problem forming successful relationships with a man. When you understand men for real you will see how full of hot air these alphas and will be able to give love and respect to a man that deserves it.
Author 9Lives Posted October 30, 2010 Author Posted October 30, 2010 I think what has happen to me is that I don't see men and relationships the same anymore. Yes I have been hurt before. Now I see that men come and go. He might stay but he might not.. he might be faithful but he might not. On and on. So why should I get all wrapped up in someone who might make a decision one day that they leaving? Its just better to keep your mind right and not let emotions run the show. People are fickle.
americanstreamer Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 You receive respect when you give it in return. Mature relationships are built around that. Its good to have a woman who respects herself.
Author 9Lives Posted October 30, 2010 Author Posted October 30, 2010 Thats why in another thread I said that I want an assertive and strong woman because I want someone whom I can respect. I cant stand an overly submissive woman because she makes me wanna walk all over her and I dont like to put anyone down. Its just instinctive for me. Oooh so you are a man? That's very cool. Yeah I see what's up now. So what do u think about fwb and fb stuff? What is yyour mindset towards the woman? Do u consider yourself a alpa?
Woggle Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Thats why in another thread I said that I want an assertive and strong woman because I want someone whom I can respect. I cant stand an overly submissive woman because she makes me wanna walk all over her and I dont like to put anyone down. Its just instinctive for me as a male to recognize a weakness and feel like 'preying' on the person who shows the weakness. It is actually not instinctive for a man to exploit weakness. A real man never takes advantage of the weak and is willing to stand up to those who wrong him. A man who will use and abuse a nice girl but is unwilling to put a ballbuster in her place is weak.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 People are fickle. Yes. This really sums it up. I am NOT fickle, in any way at all, so it took me a long time to figure out that most people are. Before that, I took their flakiness personally. Now I understand it has nothing to do with me, and I have lowered my expectations a lot.
Author 9Lives Posted October 30, 2010 Author Posted October 30, 2010 You receive respect when you give it in return. Mature relationships are built around that. Its good to have a woman who respects herself. So are u going to test her? Are u going to try her? If as the rel goes she starts to let u get away with **** is thhat going to start affecting the rel? Will u start losing respect for her and be less attractedto her? Cause see in my last rel I started out with self respect but I didn't maintin it and that's when I played myself, I SHOULD HAVE DUMPED HIM....he disrespected me ....played me....got someone else...and dumped me. Its was kinda my fault. I should have put him in his place a while back but didn't.
Author 9Lives Posted October 30, 2010 Author Posted October 30, 2010 Yes. This really sums it up. I am NOT fickle, in any way at all, so it took me a long time to figure out that most people are. Before that, I took their flakiness personally. Now I understand it has nothing to do with me, and I have lowered my expectations a lot. What do u mean u lowered your expectations? I'm not fickle by nature either but I see people have a shown me u got hold your own period.
Disillusioned Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 IMO most women are disrespectful. They complain it's so difficult to find a decent guy, but tell them to make the first move instead, and they whine that they don't want to do all the work... that's just plain spoiled laziness. OTOH the macho types who need sex like a junkie needs heroin, don't deserve respect.
Author 9Lives Posted October 30, 2010 Author Posted October 30, 2010 IMO most women are disrespectful. They complain it's so difficult to find a decent guy, but tell them to make the first move instead, and they whine that they don't want to do all the work... that's just plain spoiled laziness. OTOH the macho types who need sex like a junkie needs heroin, don't deserve respect. Huh? Most women are disrepectful cause they don't make the first move? Are we expected to make the first move? Decent shouldn't mean boring or easy. Women like a challenge too. Keep the swagga but not corny
lso802 Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I'll only befriend and date women I can respect. I usually tend to go for the kind-hearted girls. Coupled with intelligence and strength is a bonus.
MyNameIsJonas Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I think a good portion of women are picky without actually admitting openly that they are picky. They hide behind this "it's hard to meet anyone decent" and try to passively blame the guys but don't accept that "decent" is all in the eye of the beholder. In terms of personal taste, one of my biggest turn-offs is lack of confidence. This normally comes in many different ways for me but the most common traits are: overly needy, overly emotional, incapable of making a decision, abiding too much by the "dating rules," obsessively focused on money/cars/clothing/material goods, lack of opinion when asked, overt jealousy, overly judgmental, and so forth. Of course, I will admit that I am picky; I know what I want.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Is todays womAn weak or easy or strong or respectful? Today's woman is evolving between the extremes which had their grandmothers leaning toward stay-at-home parenthood and a future where women will be completely used to their own financial independence. The waters in between point A and point B are quite rocky and unpredictable. I'd say that women are evolving at present in all sorts of different directions, some not so easy to understand in the moment. Women are standing up for themselves more and more, and in many different ways. Eventually the social world will be a better place once everybody gets used to it all.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Today's woman is evolving between the extremes which had their grandmothers leaning toward stay-at-home parenthood and a future where women will be completely used to their own financial independence. The waters in between point A and point B are quite rocky and unpredictable. I'd say that women are evolving at present in all sorts of different directions, some not so easy to understand in the moment. Women are standing up for themselves more and more, and in many different ways. Eventually the social world will be a better place once everybody gets used to it all. I totally agree. I'm reading a good book right now that talks about how one reason relationships are complicated and hard these days is that we are in the midst of a gender and sexual revolution, and both men and women are feeling the stress of the chaos. Both genders are acting out their sadness, fear, and anger about it -- violent, abusive porn from the male side, and sport f*cking with pride from the female side are a couple of examples. It's similar to the chaos that was brewing during the peak of the civil rights movement, with black against white. Now we have a black president, and a significant faction of the country is raging with hate and fear. But there is no going back to institutionalized racism and discrimination. The victims of that got fed up and did something about it, and good for them. When you take emotions out of the picture, you can see this is a very fascinating time in human history. 9Lives, when I said I've lowered my expectations, I meant that I am realizing there are huge forces at work beyond my control, and the best I can do is make the best of what we're working with.
Woggle Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 What book is that? As for porn I really think that some women look too much into it. It is simply a tool for getting off when a man wants to pleasure himself.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 What book is that? Well, I'd rather not say, because I'm writing about it in another medium and would be prefer to maintain anonymity here, given the personal nature of LS discussions. As for porn I really think that some women look too much into it. It is simply a tool for getting off when a man wants to pleasure himself. When many men choose to masturbate to pixels on a screen because that's easier than finding a real woman, and pass over sex with their living, breathing partner so they can wank to a video file, something's wrong. And let's not get into some of the abusive stuff that is becoming so mainstream that people can discuss it at the corner bar. I'm not blaming men. It's nobody's fault, or it's just humanity's. And women are making just as many mistakes.
Woggle Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I am into abusive stuff but I think if I never met my wife I probably would settled into a life of wacking off to skin mags. I had no issue getting laid but I got sick of the drama addicts. It is much easier than dealing with the drama that sadly too many modern women bring. I am not saying all woman are like this and I am sorry if some women feel unfairly lumped but just read some of the stories from guys on here. We are not making this stuff up.
SteveC80 Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I would say weak,most women ive dated wanted to be dominated and wanted me to make every decison in the relationship Plus most women these days seem to be overly self cosncious and insecure about things especially their looks The fishinf for compliments thing gets old
dispatch3d Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Well, I'd rather not say, because I'm writing about it in another medium and would be prefer to maintain anonymity here, given the personal nature of LS discussions. When many men choose to masturbate to pixels on a screen because that's easier than finding a real woman, and pass over sex with their living, breathing partner so they can wank to a video file, something's wrong. And let's not get into some of the abusive stuff that is becoming so mainstream that people can discuss it at the corner bar. I'm not blaming men. It's nobody's fault, or it's just humanity's. And women are making just as many mistakes. .... trust me guys masterbate because they are inbetween girlfriends (lol like being inbetween jobs) or because they can't get a girlfriend. It has nothing to do with choice.
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