spirited Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 What are the signs that an ex doesn't want to go back with you, but doesn't want to give you up either? What would cause them to be that way? My ex and I have established a quasi friendship which is hard for me. He keeps telling me he has his own "issues" which prevent him from going back to the relationship. I've offered to make all the concessions in the world so we can get back together. He keeps saying he just can't right now because he has issues. I asked him if he wanted it to work and he couldn't give me an answer either way; I took that to mean he really isn't interested anymore. I told him that our friendship seems one sided because he never calls. Tonight he said he will call this weekend and make an effort to do more of that in the future. I am at a loss; the friendship is difficult for me. If I knew he was sincere about his issues being in the way of settling things, I could probably deal with it better. What say ye all?
strength-abounds Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 It's difficult, if not impossible, to be friends with someone that shared a relationship with you. You need to ask yourself if you emotionally handle any situation involving him and his significant others should he need advice? The best advice is to go NC and move one. I know it's easier said than done but NC will give you the strength and motivation to move on and find someone that will love you in the way you want to be loved. Good luck and God speed.
thatsonlyme Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 What are the signs that an ex doesn't want to go back with you, but doesn't want to give you up either? What would cause them to be that way? My ex and I have established a quasi friendship which is hard for me. He keeps telling me he has his own "issues" which prevent him from going back to the relationship. I've offered to make all the concessions in the world so we can get back together. He keeps saying he just can't right now because he has issues. I asked him if he wanted it to work and he couldn't give me an answer either way; I took that to mean he really isn't interested anymore. I told him that our friendship seems one sided because he never calls. Tonight he said he will call this weekend and make an effort to do more of that in the future. I am at a loss; the friendship is difficult for me. If I knew he was sincere about his issues being in the way of settling things, I could probably deal with it better. What say ye all? It doesn't seem like he really wants that friendship, more like he just doesn't wanna hurt you more. You're the one calling all the time and he's trying not to be rude. You don't really want friendship either, you want more. I don't know how long you guys were together, but it's hard to be real friends after a serious relationship. You'll be suffering because you want more and you're setting yourself up for another heartbreak. I've tried being friends with my ex of 5 years but it's just not working out. She calls all the time, she's being nice to me even though I told her some mean things in a moment of weakness and she's really trying hard, But I finally told her the other day it will not work. It's one sided, I want more than friendship and it will not change for a while. I told her maybe we can try after more time passes, years down the road but most likely it will never happen as I will never get completely over. I was doing good for a while but being with her and knowing that she doesn't feel any attraction towards me is devastating! Yesterday I felt so bad, almost like when we just broke up. IMHO it's just not worth it. I love her to death and I really think she's not bad person, I'd definitely like to have her in my life but it's just causing me pain. If you ever get completely over him, you can try being friends but now it's just to early. Besides, you have better chances of getting him back if you're not sticking around and he realizes that he misses you. I know that my ex will miss me once I'm gone for good, but I don't think it will ever be enough for her to come back. Good luck
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