steelknife Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Steelknife: it's so humiliating isn't it? I remember him asking me (ever so nicely of course to duck down in the car when he was driving, "just in case" really? I feel lighter already! oh ya. duck down. the humiliation. it is like you dont have a value at all. well. i didnt. he dumped me just liek that after all the sacrifices, love, humiliation i put up with just to be with him. once i told him it is amazing and witty of him; how he was able to hide my presence from his wife for two years when they live together. what i was trying to get at really, was since we dont live together, what secret was he hiding FROM ME. if the wife has totally no inkling when they are 24/7 in one house, then mine is a losing battle because he can lie as much, or more. he got upset. big time and he said, if i meant he was so good at doing "this" then im wrong. he was doing all the sneaking to protect me and our relationship. because he didnt want to lose me. he forgot to say, protect himself because he didnt want to lose his family. looking back. it really hurts. but when i was there in front of him, listening. it seemed an acceptable statement. it was for me, for us. but what i am trying to drive at is, and definitely i am not an expert, but just from someone who losed face standing up for someone who left her on her own; bail out. while you still have the dignity.
fooled once Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Steelknife: it's so humiliating isn't it? I remember him asking me (ever so nicely of course to duck down in the car when he was driving, "just in case" really? So, I just deleted ALL of the texts and emails I have saved from him over the past three years! I have gathered more strength from this forum in the past two days than I have been able to muster before! Thank you. See, not only was I having an A, but even within that unhealthy context, it was not a healthy R. Except for the sex and the humor--he really treated me like a POC! "Wow, look at that stomach? Have you gained weight?" I could go on and on..now all that remains is THE convo. I don't think he will be able to fit me in next week, but the week after for sure (we have a day off)! I feel lighter already! Okay, why do you need to have the convo? Why not just say to him in a quick call "Hey, I am done with this. If you ever become legally single, call me". Then again, if he is saying things like what I bolded, why would you want him? How freaking disrespectful. New ((hugs)) you are doing great! Like FoG said, you ROCK for deleting all that stuff!! So proud of you!
D-Lish Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 You do deserve better. When you're at the point where you not only spend more time thinking about the person than you do living your own life, but you start altering your life in order to have fleeting contact- you're giving up too much. The life you are living right now is dependant on his availability to you, and that's no life. Life is too short to spend it waiting, and you're worth much more than being a secret.
Fieldsofgold Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 You do deserve better. When you're at the point where you not only spend more time thinking about the person than you do living your own life, but you start altering your life in order to have fleeting contact- you're giving up too much. The life you are living right now is dependant on his availability to you, and that's no life. Life is too short to spend it waiting, and you're worth much more than being a secret. This is so true!
anne1707 Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 This is so distant from my reality being the OW, so I thought it was a fake post at first. Is that supposed to be supportive of the OP? Telling her that your MM is so much better than hers.
bentnotbroken Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Is that supposed to be supportive of the OP? Telling her that your MM is so much better than hers. Naw. You know JJ is supportive of everyone...
Author newpriorities Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 Okay, why do you need to have the convo? Why not just say to him in a quick call "Hey, I am done with this. If you ever become legally single, call me". Then again, if he is saying things like what I bolded, why would you want him? How freaking disrespectful. New ((hugs)) you are doing great! Like FoG said, you ROCK for deleting all that stuff!! So proud of you! This presumes I can actually call him outside of work, which I can't! Can't even text to arrange a time to call. He doesn't even give his cell# to colleagues so he never receives call or texts from anyone but his W. Therefore, if he does get something in evenings or on weekends, she will be suspicious. She's got him by the you-know-whats but that's between them. I'm done. q Question for everyone: given that I literally won't have more than 10-20 of alone face time with him until Nov 11 (and that will only be at work) should I just end it via email or face to face on the 11th? I'm sure he's assuming we will spend the day together on the 11th.thoughts?
TurboGirl Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 Ditch the Blackberry, flush it down the toilet, please! No waiting for a text or communication from anyone, EVER. Least of all from a man who is not free to be with you. Oooooo the drama, the intrigue, all so exciting. For a While. While you are waiting you are not living. Set yourself free from this and find someone worthy of wonderful YOU.
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