Only 2 Months left to live :( ...Girlfriend dumped me...No Contact?

[mrbluenobody]

I've been crying off and on everyday for two to three weeks now. My girlfriend left because she is not "in love" with me. Is this hard to accept? Of course it is......I loved her and could see a future with her. At this time I can't see how I'm going to find anyone with all the great qualities she had. But you know what, she was missing the most important quality/trait (being in love with ME). It's like she didn't realize what she had right in front of her. She couldn't see she had someone who would love her and never let her down. But, I digress.

 

The truth is, no matter how much I love/d her. No matter how much I want/need her. Care for her or would go to the ends of the earth to make her happy..........She, in the end, doesn't feel the same way!

 

Yes, that's correct. Me....being "in love" with her....cannot make her "in love" with me. This is what we have to be willing to accept. That they feel their lives are better without us, the dumpee, in them. So, it is selfish and childish of us to continue telling them how we "feel", what we think, chase them or try to reconcile in any way. It's simply pointless. If there's ever going to be a chance they will want us back they will have to come to the realization on their own. By then, if we're healthy enough, we'll probably have moved on anyways.

 

I hope the title caught your attention.

 

What if??? Seriously, what if you knew you only had two months left to live??

 

Think about that for a moment. Contemplate it. Mull it over. Try and swallow it down. If you really feel the weight of it see if it doesn't get stuck in your throat.

 

What if you found out, after you were dumped, that you have two months left to live. Exactly 60 days.....not one more and not one less. How depressing would it be to know that you'll, most likely, never have a chance to fall in love again??? I see so many posters here who dwell on their loss, chase their X's further away and make their own lives more and more miserable day by day. That's right, some people, years later are still pining for their X that got away. I'm not trying to say you can pretend your X didn't mean anything to you or they won't always have a special place in your heart. But, the simple truth is, they no longer want us to be a part of their lives and feeling sorry for ourselves is only extending, getting stuck in and repeating stages of the grief process.

 

It's natural to grieve. It's healthy. Cry your head off. Let it all out!!! You're mourning the loss of someone close to you. It's not dissimilar to a death. And until you grieve properly (NO CONTACT) by accepting this person is no longer in your life (NO CONTACT) you will stay stuck in the grieving process and lose valuable time in your life. The quicker you accept your loss and ALLOW yourself to heal the more loves you will have during your lifetime and the more chances you'll have to fall "in love" again.

 

Now, what if you only have 2 months left to live? What if you were 95 yrs old? Think about these things before you waste anymore time in your life when you're blessed that you even have an opportunity to try and find love again.

 

 

Your Friend,

Mr Blue Nobody

Edited October 29, 2010 by mrbluenobody

[pureinheart]

Yes the title did get my attention, and now I want to ask you a question in the event that you only had two months to live....

 

Do you know who Jesus Christ is? Would you consider learning about Him to ensure your eternal security?

 

Just a thought, check it out if you want as none of us really know how much time we have .

[Cee]

Got shivers from your post.

 

I've given the topic dying alone a lot of thought. I If I die young like my Dad did, it's possible I only have 10-15 years left to live. For me, the truth is that we must live as best we can in every moment. And sometimes "living well" isn't jumping out of planes and climbing the Himalayas. Sometimes living well is simply surviving. On nights when I eat a pizza and cry myself to sleep, I don't beat myself up for it. I can't be running around 24/7 living life to its fullest.

 

We all do the best we can do. I don't think it's helpful for us to think, "Cheer up and live. You'll be dead in no time." People can't snap out of sadness and depression. But it is helpful to have the perspective that life is short. It reminds us to savor the goodness that is in our life now.

 

I haven't been in a relationship for many years and I have come to accept that living well doesn't necessarily mean a LTR. I used to think that my worst fear was dying alone. I'm not afraid of that anymore b/c I love myself and trust myself completely. Of course, I'd like my friends and family around, but I don't need an SO that much anymore.

[mrbluenobody]

Cee,

 

Your post is genuine, heartfelt and honestly moving. I want you to know that I didn't mean to suggest that we "snap" out of deppresion or that we should all be happy all the time.

 

As you stated, sometimes "living well" means getting up in the morning and feeling the sunshine on your face. You don't have to impress anyone else with a list of things you do in order to appreciate life.

 

I have struggled myself with the idea of growing old alone. That is one thing that does still scare me to death. But, I know I have a long way to go torwards loving/trusting myself completely.

 

Thank you so much for your post.

[Cee]

Hey, thanks.

 

My worst decades as far as depression was concerned was my 20s. I felt like I was wasting my life, but I couldn't help it. I used to zone out playing video games for 8 hours a day. During that time I had a very serious relationship and I used that to make me happy. I always relied on a boyfriend to distract me from my inner turmoil.

 

And then in my 30s, I decided that I needed to get moving with my life. I quit relationships and started to be independent. I used to rely on a man to be happy and then I learned that I can be happy on my own.

 

But karma can be a kick in the head. I thought that now that I was healthy and healed, I'd find a relationship in no time. But no, it's really hard meeting someone. Fortunately, I've got so much good in my life that it's not really that bad. But I admit, I have been feeling a lot of loneliness now that most of my friends are in relationships or married.