dreamingoftigers Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 "Portly"? So what? Unattractive? So are ugly people. Obesity a "character flaw"? Only in the minds of people totally unqualified to judge. Obesity is not a "character flaw". Obesity is not a reflection of character nor is it a reflection of lower intelligence. Oprah Winfrey is a billionaire who has lost weight time and again right before the eyes of millions of people mostly women. She had every incentive to remain thin but her obesity won time and again. If you think anyone chooses that struggle you're dead wrong. You have no experience with it so you have no clue how it works. It's not that people habitually over-eat--that is just a subjective take on what's happening. What is more often happening is that afflicted persons do not have a natural "off switch" which turns off their eating mechanism. People who are naturally thin take this off-switch for granted as it being the way things are for everyone. Not so. Most people want the same things in the same proportions but some just wind up leaving food on their plates out of disinterest after a short bit, no one does this on purpose until they are old enough to understand issues of image and choose to consciously work on it. Kids do not posses this perspective a adolescents. The potentially obese have NO such regulatory impulse which turns off their connection with the pleasures of eating and have to instead police themselves to cease eating. Because society has been in denial about this and has allowed superficial judgments and mocking characterizations to perpetuate, people like yourself fall in line with the wrong impression and consider themselves somehow "character-superior". When one talks about "fat people" as if they have a script that calls for them to be fat, he or she proves no character superiority and demonstrates a character deficiency. One could ask: why don't you find out the truth about obesity? You're asking why the obese can't just be like you. Hell, the obese want to know why they have to struggle. Try to put yourself in the place of someone who hasn't been so graced by nature as to have to fight every day and every meal to achieve the illusion of normality only to have it slip away with the next encounter with food. It's not funny. Not at all. Thank you, someone gets it.
Leigh 87 Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Hey pal, whether you like it or not we live in a superficial world. And none of your crying is going to change it, that is the harsh reality. Are there physical traits I would like to change myself? You bet. I smoke, I grow disdain for it each and every day. But guess what? I have not quit yet and that is my own goddamn fault, no one elses, no one. I have the gift of choice and so far I have shunned it. Do you see me pointing at anyone else blamming them? Not a chance. Its a character flaw for me because I didnt have the correct judgement to begin with when I picked them up. What you just tried to do in your diatribe was to garner sympathy with an abundance of periphery laced anecdotal bull****. Am I sympathetic? If it is warranted for those that truely have a debilitating mental handicap. They need help, yes. You are in Opera's book club, you should know. For those that dont have the self discipline (such as my smoking) to take that fork out of their mouth I have zero sympathy for. And I expect no sympathy for me, either. You are right I dont know what it is like, because I pay attetion to what I eat, when I eat, and how much I eat. Ever seen the biggest loser? I watched that one season and not one contestant I saw was overweight because of a medical reason. They all admitted they saw it coming and did absolutely nothing about it. Their fault, not mine. So go ahead and manifest whatever fulcrum you feel necessary to blame some outside or inside metaphysical force for being over weight just to prolong delusions. Until then, you keep making those excuses, and I will light up a cig in the meantime. OMG - You jerk! FEELING FRISKY is right - some people do not have an off switch when it comes to food! THEY ARE BORN THIS WAY, and IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT! Not all larger people are that way because they are too weak to stop " shoving food" in their mouth. HOnestly. I had anorexia, and I HATE fat. But I would NEVER look at some one else in disdain, and think that it was all THEIR fault for being big. Why don't you GOOGLE " obesity and genetics" or a similar thing, and educate yourself on why a lot of women ARE REALLY " big". You will not assume it is simply because they are weaker than thin people, and have less self control. On a different note, one female " friend" I once had, was super skinny, and she told me that she used April, our " fat friend"; she would take April with her when she wanted to meet a hot guy, so that the guy would see how hot she was in comparison to April..... Charming, isn't it? All the while, April is thinking that this thin chick is her friend. HA. That mentality sort of reminds me of the OP'S.
dreamingoftigers Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Thank you, someone gets it. Not only that, but prior issues with overeating cause metabolic damage, so now that I barely eat anything at all and often one meal a day my body isn't losing very much weight at all, despite the physical activity I am doing. Very very slow loss, especially after my daughter was born. My H and I went on the same eating plan, he has lost 12 lbs. I have lost 1.5 and I haven't cheated and he has!
Green Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 If you have a fatty girl who is a friend, and you introduce yourself to a hottie and say "Hi I'm Joe and this is my friend fatty!" what is the hot girl thinking? Is she thinking "cool! he must be cool to hang with if fatty likes him!" or is she thinking "wow this is all this guy can get? he must be pathetic. Next!"...hmmm... You ever see that seinfeld episode where george caries a picture around of Jerry's beautiful gf whose man hands are hidden in the pic... girls see that picture of the beutiful woman who george claims is his dead wife and they fall in love with him... Well its like that. Having pretty women enjoy hanging out with you has a two fold effect. 1) you get a good chance at hooking up with the pretty women who hang out with you 2) it makes other pretty women notice you more. Also hanging out with other attractive men will also help bring up your value. In the end hanging out with any type of loser will bring down your value. (fat women may be included in that) As for me I don't live my life by what will make me the most attractive to women for if I did I would have made being a doctor my back up plan for being a famouse musician. Also I wouldn't play so many video games and love things like comics, sci-fi, and cartoons if all I cared about was seeming cool to the largest number of girls. The real trick to seeming cool to the RIGHT kind of girl for you is being yourself. If you don't want to hang out with fat chicks then don't. Personaly I'm not the kind of guy who really wants to hang out with women other then my gf. I also believe that having any kind of women you don't want to date around you when single will only hurt you. So really you should only be hanging out with women you find attractive and want to date... The pc crowd here will flog you like a mother hen if you dont be sensitive or a guy that cosistantly farts rose pedals. Dont sweat it. To your question. Are you a thin guy? I mean, when you two stand together does it look like the number ten? If so, this can get you varied results. This crowd goes beyond pc most times its ridiculouse. From what I read, the scorn aimed at this thread wasn't just from people who might be considered PC. That probably says something. Seriously, dude, why are you bringing along a woman as your wingman anyway? And how does she feel about that? Does she think it's a date? He might just be hanging out with her at school. Really hanging out with a woman he isn't attracted to and being friends with her only serves to cock block him. In this instance, I think OP hanging out with any 'chick' would raise his value - the only direction his value could possibly travel at this stage is up. If he is a really big loser hanging out with any body will raise his value... "look he's not a total outcast he has friends" but if he already apears socialy normal hanging out with some fat chick will only hurt his chances... basicly hanging out with any girl he is not attracted to is pointless. I think one fat friend is ok. But if you have more than one, you risk being blocked from view, and that won't do your chances any good. lol! OMG - You jerk! FEELING FRISKY is right - some people do not have an off switch when it comes to food! THEY ARE BORN THIS WAY, and IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT! Not all larger people are that way because they are too weak to stop " shoving food" in their mouth. Feeling Frisky doesn't know what he is talking about. He equates Oprah being a billionair and her being fat as corelated saying... she became a billionaire yet can't lose weight that means its really hard... Fact is she can and has lost the weight but hasn't the will power to keep it off. Another fact is some times people like JK Rowling the woman who wrote harry potter and Oporah become bilinaires not because they are the best but because of LUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK People are weak and the human race sickens me in its weakness (violence) that it continues to make excuses for. being fat is violence to ones own body the same way being anorexic is. Go to the middle east and listen to all there excuse for their weakness (violence)
Surrealist Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 I'm a moderator on a bodybuilding forum and coincidentally there is a similar argument going on there. Funny cos some are hanging **** on fat people while others are defending them. Even moreso, is that some of the defenders are pretty good bodybuilders themselves and their bodies would smoke any of the critics on this forum.
Green Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 I'm a moderator on a bodybuilding forum and coincidentally there is a similar argument going on there. Funny cos some are hanging **** on fat people while others are defending them. Even moreso, is that some of the defenders are pretty good bodybuilders themselves and their bodies would smoke any of the critics on this forum. having some one defend being fat yet being in shape is like having some one defend being poor but being rich... it doesn't make a difference. Truth is its all kind of off topic and shows just how insecure every one is. Bottom line a fat chick will lower your value to hot girls. Also bottom line you need to just be who you are and hang out with a fat chick if that what you enjoy doing.
Surrealist Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Truth is its all kind of off topic and shows just how insecure every one is. Exactly, here's one of the posts I cite verbatim below which was a response (only minutes ago) to someone who felt he had a right to judge fat people because he himself was once fat. "Like **** it does cockhead. You are a bad representative of this sport. How does someone being fat affect anyone of you guys? Lucky there are fat people or none of you insecure ****wits would ever get a root."
americanstreamer Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 having some one defend being fat yet being in shape is like having some one defend being poor but being rich... it doesn't make a difference. Truth is its all kind of off topic and shows just how insecure every one is. Bottom line a fat chick will lower your value to hot girls. Also bottom line you need to just be who you are and hang out with a fat chick if that what you enjoy doing. Your value will drop if you are disrespectful to your fat chick in front of a hot one. In short, do what you enjoy. If its fat chicks then so be it!
Lorelai Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 IMHO, she's not a "friend" if you talk about her the way you did. Hot or not, most girls want a long-term relationship with a guy who will still love them while they feel like a whale in the last few months of pregnancy, and after when their body is no longer perfect because they have stretch marks and a less taut belly (because unless you make enough money to get your "hot girl" a tummy tuck after she goes through labor to have your child, even if she loses all of the baby weight her body will not be the same after). Being a superficial person and deciding whether or not to hang around your "friend" because her weight might drive off "hot girls" is a lot more likely, IMHO, to drive away women.
colliejoanie Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Average Joe......I wanted to apologize for being SO sensitive to your posts......you really are quite funny and mostly spot on......I was being an emotional overthinker. Carry on. And I enjoy your posts!!!
dreamingoftigers Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 You ever see that seinfeld episode where george caries a picture around of Jerry's beautiful gf whose man hands are hidden in the pic... girls see that picture of the beutiful woman who george claims is his dead wife and they fall in love with him... Well its like that. Having pretty women enjoy hanging out with you has a two fold effect. 1) you get a good chance at hooking up with the pretty women who hang out with you 2) it makes other pretty women notice you more. Also hanging out with other attractive men will also help bring up your value. In the end hanging out with any type of loser will bring down your value. (fat women may be included in that) As for me I don't live my life by what will make me the most attractive to women for if I did I would have made being a doctor my back up plan for being a famouse musician. Also I wouldn't play so many video games and love things like comics, sci-fi, and cartoons if all I cared about was seeming cool to the largest number of girls. The real trick to seeming cool to the RIGHT kind of girl for you is being yourself. If you don't want to hang out with fat chicks then don't. Personaly I'm not the kind of guy who really wants to hang out with women other then my gf. I also believe that having any kind of women you don't want to date around you when single will only hurt you. So really you should only be hanging out with women you find attractive and want to date... This crowd goes beyond pc most times its ridiculouse. He might just be hanging out with her at school. Really hanging out with a woman he isn't attracted to and being friends with her only serves to cock block him. If he is a really big loser hanging out with any body will raise his value... "look he's not a total outcast he has friends" but if he already apears socialy normal hanging out with some fat chick will only hurt his chances... basicly hanging out with any girl he is not attracted to is pointless. lol! Feeling Frisky doesn't know what he is talking about. He equates Oprah being a billionair and her being fat as corelated saying... she became a billionaire yet can't lose weight that means its really hard... Fact is she can and has lost the weight but hasn't the will power to keep it off. Another fact is some times people like JK Rowling the woman who wrote harry potter and Oporah become bilinaires not because they are the best but because of LUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK People are weak and the human race sickens me in its weakness (violence) that it continues to make excuses for. being fat is violence to ones own body the same way being anorexic is. Go to the middle east and listen to all there excuse for their weakness (violence) Not everyone is born with the same cards in hand, some things that may be easy for you to overcome may be next to impossible for someone else. Plus people's lives may be too overwhelming to fix everything at once, I know mine has been from prioritizing my health last and my family's income and stability first. I have had to learn the hard way to re-prioritize, but I certainly don't look down on people who haven't yet. There are also a ton of obstacles (personal and emotional) for someone who hasn't been raised with the habits/skills that others have, like healthy eating and knowing your boundaries. Just like not everyone has relationship skills or financial skills, these need to be taught and not everyone holds the same standard. Even for those of us who want to improve our personal standards, Rome was not built in a day.
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