Unrequited love...

[DarkAtlantis]

Hey guys, I came to this forum because I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I've been following some advice on here, but none has helped so far, so I decided to ask in person. I hope it's in the right section Here goes:

 

I met this brilliant girl 3 years ago, and honestly to me, it was like love at first sight. I didn't wanna rush things, so I decided to first be friends with her, and try work my way up. It was pretty hard to hide the fact that I liked her, and eventually I told her (In person) that I had a crush on her. Her exact response was "Oh well, s*** happens". I pretty much picked up that she didn't requite the feelings, but even after this, I still couldn't stop myself from liking her.

 

The next day, she pretended like nothing happened, and we went back to being normal friends (After the long akwardness from the previous day).

 

A few months later, I heard someone mentioning that she slept with some boys at a party, and I was actually quite shocked. I also found out that everybody labeled her a "skank". I asked her in person (We were close friends, we kept secrets etc), and she herself admitted that she did it quite often. The fact that bugs me, is even after hearing this, I am still in love with her (Is there something wrong with that?).

 

For the next year or so, things actually went pretty well, and I actually believed that I may have a chance. Then after that, she started ignoring me in school (Not like purposely, but I'd be talking to her, and she'd just turn around and start talking to the girl next to her). She'd also ignore me on MSN, and then just log off (Even if she says hello first), and when I ask her about it, she said that she was speaking to somebody else. What made me upset was the logging off during a conversation (I understand if it's for a reason, but not "I don't like goodbyes", etc) and I actually fought with her about it, and we didn't speak for 6 days. I eventually felt bad, and added her again, but she's doing it again, like she doesn't care.

 

I've been in this predicament for so long, I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to get over her, I know she won't like me back, even after she told me so and even said "I can't understand why guys always want to ruin friendships". Alot of friends tell me that she's only using me (I help her with her work, I come 1st in grade, she comes a close 2nd), but I don't see it (Maybe I'm blinded?)

 

I know it's definitly not lust, I have no desire to do anything "sexual" with her. I think it's quite pathetic that I can't get over her, and my grades are slowly dropping because of this (writing exams soon). I can't imagine living another year in such a depression. Any suggestions on what I can do? (Sorry my message was so long)

 

Thanks

Mark

[strength-abounds]

Hello Mark

 

To answer one of your questions, no there is nothing wrong with loving someone that does no reciprocate the same feelings.

 

What is wrong is not moving on knowing those feelings will never be reciprocated. You need to take a honest look into this friendship and determine if the heartbreak your feeling is worth the friendship. Personally, I would never place myself into that situation.

 

If you decide to remain in this friendship, the heartbreak will never go away.

 

IMO, go NC and find someone that will love you back.

 

Good luck and God speed

[shayan]

Hi mark,

 

I read your post and it seems like there is one really good solution. Stop being friends with her.

 

I say this because well I was friends with a girl for a long time then started dating her, then we broke up and we tried to stay friends and it was miserable for a year afterwards. It just doesn't work when one person wants more I'm sorry, this is the simple truth. She seems to treat you as non priority too, as a left over. Please this is a toxic relationship you need to cut it out mark.

 

let me ask you something? How does this gril make you feel?

 

it seems like you feel awful, if that's not a clear enough answer for you to move on: then I'd say you may like her more than you like yourself.

 

good luck mark

 

t

[DarkAtlantis]

Hello Mark

 

To answer one of your questions, no there is nothing wrong with loving someone that does no reciprocate the same feelings.

 

What is wrong is not moving on knowing those feelings will never be reciprocated. You need to take a honest look into this friendship and determine if the heartbreak your feeling is worth the friendship. Personally, I would never place myself into that situation.

 

If you decide to remain in this friendship, the heartbreak will never go away.

 

IMO, go NC and find someone that will love you back.

 

Good luck and God speed

 

You're right, the reason that I put myself into that situation is what makes me even more depressed. I know that she's not good for me, yet I can't stop this stupid crush. And everytime I feel like I'm making progress, things just go back to how it was. There's no end...

 

Hi mark,

 

I read your post and it seems like there is one really good solution. Stop being friends with her.

 

I say this because well I was friends with a girl for a long time then started dating her, then we broke up and we tried to stay friends and it was miserable for a year afterwards. It just doesn't work when one person wants more I'm sorry, this is the simple truth. She seems to treat you as non priority too, as a left over. Please this is a toxic relationship you need to cut it out mark.

 

let me ask you something? How does this gril make you feel?

 

it seems like you feel awful, if that's not a clear enough answer for you to move on: then I'd say you may like her more than you like yourself.

 

good luck mark

 

t

 

It's good to know that I'm not the only one whose been in this situation before . To be honest, when I see her, I feel more comfortable, but it's her actions that make me depressed (Like I want her to care, but she just doesn't).

 

I tried ignoring her for a while, trying to keep my distance, but then she says things like "It's your fault our friendship is like this", and I always end up feeling bad, and apologising. Hopeless right?

 

Thanks for the advice guys

Mark

[DarkAtlantis]

Also (Sorry for double posting, new to this forum, haven't figured out how to do everything yet), is there any way to do the NC in a school environment, especially if you have the same classes with the girl?

 

Thanks

Mark