KikiW Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 My court date was 2 days ago to finalize my divorce. We'd been apart for a long time and even called each other "ex-husband" or "ex-wife", but we're still friends, I speak to him nearly every day whether it's about our daughter or mutual friends or just chit chat. We had gone through a mediator to work out all the details (who I guess felt we were so easy to deal with he never even charged us) so all the paperwork was written up and just needed to be filed. At court we sat next to each other and made little jokes, the attorney I hired to take care of the legal stuff giggling about us. After it was all over we went out into the hall to wait for the gold seal papers and even high-fived - "hey! we're finally divorced! lol!" But about an hour or so after I started feeling a little blue and got quiet. My fiance is so good to me, he knew it would happen and that I would need some time to analyze and adjust, but I just wish it wasn't hanging on any more. I suppose in some respects it would be easier if my ex and I hated each other, easier to make a break and feel relief. I know everything will be fine and this must just be a new little "mourning" period. Of course it has to happen at a time when he and I are collaborating on a making a photobook for our daughter's 10th birthday next week, so I am going over 10 years worth of memories. Add to that my lack of close friends to confide in anymore - most either stepped back assuming we would become bitter and didn't want to choose sides (which never happened, but by then they were way far away), some had their own life changes and drifted, others showed some very odd true colors. My work leaves me very solitary so I do not get to interact with potential new friends. I do not regret my time with him, nor do I regret our decision to split. Just kind of hate feeling sad and hope I can move past it soon. Thanks for reading.
HopelessinDTW Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 My court date was 2 days ago to finalize my divorce. We'd been apart for a long time and even called each other "ex-husband" or "ex-wife", but we're still friends, I speak to him nearly every day whether it's about our daughter or mutual friends or just chit chat. We had gone through a mediator to work out all the details (who I guess felt we were so easy to deal with he never even charged us) so all the paperwork was written up and just needed to be filed. At court we sat next to each other and made little jokes, the attorney I hired to take care of the legal stuff giggling about us. After it was all over we went out into the hall to wait for the gold seal papers and even high-fived - "hey! we're finally divorced! lol!" But about an hour or so after I started feeling a little blue and got quiet. My fiance is so good to me, he knew it would happen and that I would need some time to analyze and adjust, but I just wish it wasn't hanging on any more. I suppose in some respects it would be easier if my ex and I hated each other, easier to make a break and feel relief. I know everything will be fine and this must just be a new little "mourning" period. Of course it has to happen at a time when he and I are collaborating on a making a photobook for our daughter's 10th birthday next week, so I am going over 10 years worth of memories. Add to that my lack of close friends to confide in anymore - most either stepped back assuming we would become bitter and didn't want to choose sides (which never happened, but by then they were way far away), some had their own life changes and drifted, others showed some very odd true colors. My work leaves me very solitary so I do not get to interact with potential new friends. I do not regret my time with him, nor do I regret our decision to split. Just kind of hate feeling sad and hope I can move past it soon. Thanks for reading. Well I think it very natural to feel the way you do. Finally/legally you are not married, and I would guess that really doesn;t sink in until it actually happens. In my case, my stbx and I are not getting along. She wants to torture me by being unreasonable, and not openly communicate. I agree that if we were more friendly it would make the divorce much harder to deal with, but with my case it's tough for other reasons. What you need to do is really try to move on with your life as a single mom, and try to make some friends who you can talk to. be thankful that your daughter will likely have minimal suffering since both of you seem to be cooperative. Like you've probably heard before...you'll be fine. It's just a matter of time, and how you spend it.
2sure Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 My divorcing my H required me to hire and pay 2 attorneys - one for the D, the other to keep me legal and out of jail, a PI and a CPA. As fully committed I was to divorcing him , it was the saddest day of my life.
Author KikiW Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 Thanks you two. I already feel a little better. When I was typing that I had tears down my cheeks, but by the time I pressed the button to publish it I was getting it together. The amount of changes people go through in their lives, it's a wonder anyone can stay married for decades.
LittleTiger Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 I too was very sad when my divorce came through. I even had a choice about what day to finalise it and I delayed it by about a week because I couldn't face 'the end' feeling. My ex and I had also been living apart for a long time and were/are still friends, though we now have limited contact. I'm not sure if us still being friends made it harder or easier. It takes a little time to get used to the new stage of your life but you have a lot to look forward to and the sadness will fade.
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