boco Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 My ex dumped me after 5 years together. i tried to get her back for last 2 months and made all the classic mistakes. In the last week She text me saying that it wouldn't work if we got back together. Then i seen her a work the next day she said that she misses me and still has feelings for me and that the last 5 years meant so much to her, i will always be special to her and made her happy. Confused? Then i found out that she has been on 3 or 4 dates with a guy in last few weeks. i feel like a jackass trying to get back when i found this out. So i just left it and did not contact her for a week then again i seen her at work and she asked me for a hug. later that night i got a text saying 'thank you i needed that' she asked if i have totally moved on i said i was getting there. Her reply was that she was trying to move on by seeing someone but it was hard to imagine what she had with me with someone else its taking time. Now she asked to be friends and whats to go to lunch for a chat. Is she trying to get me back or she just confused to what she wants?
JP2009 Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Just stay away from her. If she is already seeing a guy that soon after dating you, she is going to be thinking of you when she is with him. Might be good thoughts might be bad thoughts. Its a rebound relationship. Just stay away, don't push her any further. Just let her do her thing. Move on with you life, sooner or later she will show up again.
kaycstamper Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 How can this go anywhere when she's seeing someone else? Wouldn't it be hard for you to be "friends" while seeing her with someone else? Why do that to yourself? Maybe a couple of years down the road, but right now...too fresh. She wants her cake and eat it too, I wouldn't promote that. Respect yourself and pull back.
Jayerjay Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 I was in a very similar situation as you with my ex, except that I was the one to break up with her and then she wouldn't take me back (so essentially roles were flipped and I turned into the dumpee at that point). Begged, pleaded for 2 months, she started seeing someone new. You are doing the right thing by moving on. She is trying to string you along right now as a backup because she misses you. Tell her you can't play these games with her and be her support while she is dating someone else, and then go in strict NC and get on with your life. She may come back, she may not... it's a bit scary. But if she doesn't come back she wasn't going to anyway, and was just going to string you along until she cuts you loose and that option is much, much, much worse. Trust me. Good luck.
Author boco Posted October 30, 2010 Author Posted October 30, 2010 Thank for the reply's. She text me again saying i dont want you thinking i want to get back together when we go to lunch. I just said it probs wont workout as there is to much history between us. I did ask why she didnt want to let me out of her life totally and her reply was 'we seen each other every day and then never' think i might just do NC and move on. She must be confused to what she whats and its stopping me for moving on completely.
Leandro Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Yea I would go NC. She wants to see you for her own selfish reasons. If she really wants to be friends and cares about you, she will stop all that so you can heal on your own time. That's what I think.
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