fooled once Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 You both are going to end your marriages after knowing each other 4 whole weeks? OMG
goingstrong Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Shoppaholic, what is the friggin hurry to get together permanently? Enjoy the ride for now...it will reach it's own conclusion in it's own time...don't force it.
Fieldsofgold Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 First of all the woman could have been anyone. A colleague, a customer (someone work related generally) a doctor for his kids, you have NO idea. Women are 50% of the population at least arent they? And if you were calling a cell rather than a landline you wouldnt get the receptionist saying xyz company. Even if it was a landline, you have no idea. So the fact that you snooped and felt the need to call a number is bad bad bad. This is not I feel it in my bones this is the man I am meant to be with love. This is Im having a great time, dont ever let it end lust and fun. I would also be VERY wary of ANYONE who told me that they loved me in a month. Maybe Im odd that way but I think it takes more than a month to really know someone. It wouldnt feel sincere to me. I could understand I am having the best time with you, I feel like Ive known you longer than a month, if it hadnt been a month Id say I am in love with you but I love you ??? I dont know. Im more restrained that way and even if I felt that way for someone a month is just too quick. Id be waiting for the other shoe to drop. That being said there are some people you just know are meant for you the moment you meet them. But you dont snoop in their cars and believe every phone number is an OOW. There is a blatant inconsistency there. Think hard about that. You need to come clean with him and ask him about this. If he doesnt respond in a way that makes you comfortable you have your answer. The only thing that can end is a fantasy. And you are married. You dont need that. This is an excellent post. You'd do well to read and consider it very carefully.
desertIslandCactus Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 I am inclined to agree with you, but there are stories of people on here who have got together and stayed together from A's. Yes. And they're a bad influence on others.
pureinheart Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Thanks OW for such sensible words. I just feel we need to get to know each other and i need to think more about what i want as you say. Getting too caught up in the detail of it i suppose at the moment. I did suggest it would be better for us both to leave on separate terms without involving each other, as i thought that was fairer on all parts, but i dont know why he didnt want that, yet he seems so set on going? I wonder whether he is thinking he will only go if i do? I dont know, but i did mention this and i will do again. I agree with OWoman also, keep it all separate dealing with each issue on it's own merit. Starting point being your M and what you want... Hey I hope it all works out for you...you definitely have my thoughts and prayers:)
jj33 Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Shop OWoman gave you very good advice. If you want to leave your M leave it. But take your time getting to know the MM. You dont want to jump from the frying pan into the fire. Give yourself time. Better to leave start a new life for you and if MM works out great, if he doesnt, you have a fresh start. If nothing else maybe MM is a wake up call that its time to leave.
BlackLovely Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 You come across as alarmingly naïve, like a 16 year old who thinks she's in love. Who cares what he says? He is obviously needy and desperate. This man clearly doesn't know what love is. He has always cheated on his wife and he's willing to run off with someone he has known for A MONTH. Yikes! Neither of you can trust each other because you are both dishonest cheaters. Make sense? I bet he feeds the same lines to all of his side dishes. If you don't want your hubby to find out from your MM, back away before this becomes a clusterf#*$ of karmic retribution for you and this clown.
Author shoppaholic Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 Weve had several long chats since I last posted and he has spoken to divorce lawyers and wants to leave. I wont be rushed and he has told me to take as much time, but we have both had moments when we coud have just walked out,but its not as straightforward as that. Thanks owoman for your kind words, i think your advice was great! Obviously there are big issues at home, or why would i be doing what i am doing, my MM knows it is early to tell me he loves me, but he says he just knows. I havent told him,im not ready,though i am falling for him, but who are we to judge how long it takes to fall in love? MM has been married for 15 years and had the affairs on yr 14,so hasnt always cheated, but after years of her not even noticing him has given up. which is why i have told him he must leave her, because he wants to leave her and not for me. I am not out to be awful to anyone,though i am being at the moment,but it is not my nature. He cant stay together for the sake of it and neither can i, we want each other so badly that we are trying to sort things out. He has spoken to his counsellor about me and what i said about leaving not for each other and she has assisted him with a course of action. So we are just enjoying this time together and seeing where it takes us. JJ33thanks, worst case scenario, this has absolutely been a wake up call if anything ,that I am not happy and that if MM hadnt come along I may have thought eveything was ok in my marriage, but call me selfish, naiive etc I want great not ok.
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