Feelin Frisky Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Since it's not the sexual forum, without being too graphic, imagine looking into his eyes, wet with tears not flowing, and him telling you he loves you so much and wants to be like this with you always. This, to me is what lovemaking is all about and why I often rail against casual f*ck-buddy, come on my face baby oo la la, perspectives. It's a gift humans are given, both the emotional and physical components. What we do with it is up to us. Ultimate vulnerability; ultimate connection; ultimate reward. Joy, hope, sadness and fear all combined into one flowing act of unity. Think about that. A little Everything in its place. Being moved to tears is a wonderful feeling and I feel sorry for those who don't know what that's like and never feel it. But I think most of us fellas would be multi-tasking in a strange way to be in the act of sexual fulfillment and out of it reflecting upon it at the same time. Share a tear for sure when it's about verbal expression and sentiment of greater appreciation. But boo hoo hoo and ball? I ain't feelin' it. (please don't take my quote as a criticism. I think we're on the same page--I just don't want to be considered shallow for not crying while f__king or characterizing it pussiness).
Citizen Erased Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Since it's not the sexual forum, without being too graphic, imagine looking into his eyes, wet with tears not flowing, and him telling you he loves you so much and wants to be like this with you always. This, to me is what lovemaking is all about and why I often rail against casual f*ck-buddy, come on my face baby oo la la, perspectives. It's a gift humans are given, both the emotional and physical components. What we do with it is up to us. Ultimate vulnerability; ultimate connection; ultimate reward. Joy, hope, sadness and fear all combined into one flowing act of unity. Think about that. A little Sorry but the thought of that makes me cringe. I have no problem with men crying but I'm certainly not going to be all awww isn't he sweet if he tears up when he's inside of me. Major turn off.
johan Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 There were a couple times an ex of mine burst into tears at just the moment when we finished. She just kind of erupted. It was definitely unnerving. She wasn't even sad or upset. She was actually really happy. It was just some kind of emotional release. Once I figured that out, I didn't think it was unattractive at all. And no, I've never cried during sex. Whatever sadness I might have in my life is generally forgotten while that is going on.
LittleTiger Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Everything in its place. Being moved to tears is a wonderful feeling and I feel sorry for those who don't know what that's like and never feel it. But I think most of us fellas would be multi-tasking in a strange way to be in the act of sexual fulfillment and out of it reflecting upon it at the same time. Share a tear for sure when it's about verbal expression and sentiment of greater appreciation. But boo hoo hoo and ball? I ain't feelin' it. (please don't take my quote as a criticism. I think we're on the same page--I just don't want to be considered shallow for not crying while f__king or characterizing it pussiness). I understand what you're saying here and I think it's a lot like the 'argument' (for want of a better word) about 'making love' and 'having sex'. I don't want to generalise but IME most women understand what 'making love' means, whereas many men don't, or at least say they don't. That's not to say that a man having 'hot n wild' sex with a woman he loves doesn't feel the same things it's just that the whole 'act' is somehow qualitatively different. It's like the difference between tantric sex and a 'quickie'. A quickie is never going to make anyone cry in the 'I love you' sense, whereas tantric sex (or something similar) has a whole other dimension which increases the feelings of intimacy and connection and is far more likely to lead to an overflow of emotion.
Author tkgirl Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 (edited) Since it's not the sexual forum, without being too graphic, imagine looking into his eyes, wet with tears not flowing, and him telling you he loves you so much and wants to be like this with you always. This, to me is what lovemaking is all about and why I often rail against casual f*ck-buddy, come on my face baby oo la la, perspectives. It's a gift humans are given, both the emotional and physical components. What we do with it is up to us. Ultimate vulnerability; ultimate connection; ultimate reward. Joy, hope, sadness and fear all combined into one flowing act of unity. Think about that. A little ok.. I thought about it and yes, what you described sounds very sweet and I would probably find it very moving... Everything in its place. Being moved to tears is a wonderful feeling and I feel sorry for those who don't know what that's like and never feel it. But I think most of us fellas would be multi-tasking in a strange way to be in the act of sexual fulfillment and out of it reflecting upon it at the same time. Share a tear for sure when it's about verbal expression and sentiment of greater appreciation. But boo hoo hoo and ball? I ain't feelin' it. (please don't take my quote as a criticism. I think we're on the same page--I just don't want to be considered shallow for not crying while f__king or characterizing it pussiness). this just made me laugh! There were a couple times an ex of mine burst into tears at just the moment when we finished. She just kind of erupted. It was definitely unnerving. She wasn't even sad or upset. She was actually really happy. It was just some kind of emotional release. Once I figured that out, I didn't think it was unattractive at all. And no, I've never cried during sex. Whatever sadness I might have in my life is generally forgotten while that is going on. I myself have actually done this... once. And it was because I was so happy and my emotions just got the best of me. So yeah, I should know it can happen... and I guess to anybody... I'm not going to be sexist about it anymore Edited October 28, 2010 by tkgirl
carhill Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 No worries, F_F, I rarely had this experience (crying during lovemaking) while M, reflective of our lack of bond at the elemental level and that impact on my emotions. The rub was I didn't recognize it (the manifestation of the feelings) properly for what it was in the past. I made a mistake in judgment. I gave the example as one potential, not as an indictment of others. Having experienced a variety of potentials in my M, even anger, I can clearly identify the one most meaningful now. That's the compatibility I seek. I'm analyzing it here but, in the moment, there is no multi-tasking involved. Emotion, thought and passion are all melded into one flow. It just happens, largely outside of conscious control. Oh, just thought of something else.... I've noted some men are more prone to crying when alcohol or drugs removes some of their 'filters' and 'inhibitions'. I see this with male friends. I've always been sober when making love so don't have any experience with that particular dynamic. OP, happy to read you've found some acceptance of this. Whether or not it was heartfelt and sincere in your depiction of the man in question is really unknown, but I'm glad to see you're open to the possibility.
that girl Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 I wouldn't be thrilled to have a guy cry during sex, but it wouldn't be a big deal either. I don't subscribe to the idea that men are less emotional than women and should never/rarely cry. but I still worry my friend is dating a total sociopath and his crying act was just that... an act... but who knows since I was not there! He might be a sociopath because he cried during sex, but it is no big deal that you've done it? C'mon. John Cusak cries during sex in Say Anything, is he a possible sociopath too?
make me believe Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 My initial response is to find it kinda strange for a man OR woman to cry during sex. But then, when I think of crying I'm imagining the person just bursting into tears & sobbing all crazily. If my BF were to tear up during a particularly emotional session, I wouldn't be turned off. If he started CRYING-crying, then I probably be. I've also heard from guys about girls they had barely started dating crying during sex, and to that I just roll my eyes and think "get a grip!" So much sex is casual nowadays that it seems strange to imagine someone being moved to tears during it. But for sex within a close intimate relationship, it doesn't seem as strange unless it's happening all the time.
Author tkgirl Posted October 29, 2010 Author Posted October 29, 2010 No worries, F_F, I rarely had this experience (crying during lovemaking) while M, reflective of our lack of bond at the elemental level and that impact on my emotions. The rub was I didn't recognize it (the manifestation of the feelings) properly for what it was in the past. I made a mistake in judgment. I gave the example as one potential, not as an indictment of others. Having experienced a variety of potentials in my M, even anger, I can clearly identify the one most meaningful now. That's the compatibility I seek. I'm analyzing it here but, in the moment, there is no multi-tasking involved. Emotion, thought and passion are all melded into one flow. It just happens, largely outside of conscious control. Oh, just thought of something else.... I've noted some men are more prone to crying when alcohol or drugs removes some of their 'filters' and 'inhibitions'. I see this with male friends. I've always been sober when making love so don't have any experience with that particular dynamic. OP, happy to read you've found some acceptance of this. Whether or not it was heartfelt and sincere in your depiction of the man in question is really unknown, but I'm glad to see you're open to the possibility. thanks.. I'm actually glad I started the thread because it's been very eye-opening. It's refreshing to learn that a guy really can be so in touch with his emotions I wouldn't be thrilled to have a guy cry during sex, but it wouldn't be a big deal either. I don't subscribe to the idea that men are less emotional than women and should never/rarely cry. He might be a sociopath because he cried during sex, but it is no big deal that you've done it? C'mon. John Cusak cries during sex in Say Anything, is he a possible sociopath too? no, the crying thing alone does not make me think he's a sociopath (maybe that's not the right word) I know this thread has gotten a little long but what I wrote a few posts ago... that this guy was treating her like crap and was ready to break up with her because she merely asked for some of the money he owed her... then the next day they decide to "make-up" and he gets all emo on her out of no where? I just think the two extremes are a little suspicious... I wish I could believe this guy was legit because she's my oldest and dearest friend and I care about her a lot. I really hope he's not playing her...
Feelin Frisky Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 I wouldn't be thrilled to have a guy cry during sex, but it wouldn't be a big deal either. I don't subscribe to the idea that men are less emotional than women and should never/rarely cry. He might be a sociopath because he cried during sex, but it is no big deal that you've done it? C'mon. John Cusak cries during sex in Say Anything, is he a possible sociopath too? If sociopaths cry at all it's a ruse to get what they want. People with no consciences don't have these kinds of emotions about connections with other people. It's all about them. And showing real vulnerability is contrary to the sociopath's outlook. It's all a cold game deep down.
Author tkgirl Posted October 29, 2010 Author Posted October 29, 2010 If sociopaths cry at all it's a ruse to get what they want. People with no consciences don't have these kinds of emotions about connections with other people. It's all about them. And showing real vulnerability is contrary to the sociopath's outlook. It's all a cold game deep down. that's what scares me... one day he's being an "ass" and breaking up with her because she wants some of the money he owes her... and then next he's crying over her? I dunno... the other scenario I thought of is that he felt so bad about how he treated her so when she took him back he finally realized how much she really means to him.... I pray it's the latter...
carhill Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 OP, superficially, it might be a sign of emotional instability. I've experienced this with women. The result has been a de-stabilization of my psyche. Temporary insanity, at its worst. I call it 'crazy-making' behaviors. I went through a cycle of experiencing this back when my exW and I were dating; in her case I would come to understand it as a result of the difficult experiences she had endured as a child and young adult. It would only be far later that I saw the enduring results of that dynamic. I hope your friend has a different and healthier experience. I don't want to ever go there again.
brainygirl Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 I've never thought of crying and sex mixing. Sex is supposed to be fun. If I've ever felt strong emotions during sex it wasn't anything that inspired me to cry (got a neighbor to complain about the erm . . . yells once, but that's different). I would think that if someone, male or female cried during sex, it was a sign of something very wrong. Not a good or romantic thing.
carhill Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 Haven't you ever laughed so hard you cried? Seen a newborn baby (you have three, IIRC) and wept? Tears come from many places. There's a science to crying, worthy of study, if you have the time and interest. My parents never properly taught me that it's inappropriate for a man to cry, so I had to learn it the hard way. Still, during some very intimate moments, the natural response does come out. Maybe it's more a function of my self-control failing. How un-manly
Maggotface Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 It would creep. me. out. Ugh yeah, I had an ex start crying during and it did creep me out! All that ran through my mind was "Oh, God, what is happening please stop..."
LisaLee Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 How incredibly unattractive. That includes if they're female or male. It's sex, there's nothing to cry about. I've cried during sex. Not like bawling, but there were tears in my eyes. It just felt so good. I didn't cling to him and announce my undying love, though. I don't think he even realized. I just wiped my tears away and got up to go make him a sandwich.
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