PatheticNSingle Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Well I'm new to this site, so please bear with me. Anyway, I've always been single. Never hooked up with anybody in high school. Not one girl showed any sort of interest in a guy like me. I had female friends, but that was it. At the time, it didn't worry me overly much, because I just figured that we were all school friends, and that I'd meet somebody after that, when it came to that age where both sexes begin to mature, and look for serious relationships. I seriously tried to meet women at bars/pubs, but it never worked out. More often than not, it turned ugly. It seems women were put off by me just approaching them. Most of the times, they'd say something mean or vulgar to me, and they'd either tip their drink over me, at which point security staff would remove me from the premises, but one time was worse than most. One girl got so frightened that I'd approached her to try and initiate conversation with her, that she told security that I'd tried to sexually assault her. Anyway, so I've never been on a date. Never had a girlfriend. Still a virgin. I've kissed one girl in my lifetime, and that was only because she was absolutely blind drunk. When she started to sober up, she basically told me to f@ck off, and got really pushy physically. So now I'm getting closer to 30, and still not found anybody, whereas all my friends are either married/getting married/life long partner, etc. I'm the only single person from my final level of highschool. I made the mistake of going to the 10 year reunion, and everybody kept on asking me the same question, "why aren't you seeing anybody." I think they ask that question purely out of politeness. Surely they must know that I'd never be able to find a woman. In my desperation I've turned to online dating sites. Been trying them for about the past five - six years. Never gotten a single response. Tried contacting women, just to get ignored. It's not like I've been picky, and only tried to contact gorgeous women. I've tried chatting to damn near every type of women on countless sites, and nothing. People have told me to be yourself on dating sites, that people can always see through bull****, and can tell if a person is genuine or not. I've been ****ing honest and upfront, and that's gotten me nowhere. I've even tried glitzing up my profiles, and embellishing the truth slightly, and that's not worked out either. I don't hold high hopes for the future. Honestly, how many people here know of somebody my age, that's never been on a date, never had a partner, etc. I for one can't think of anybody, expect for myself. I just feel terribly pathetic, and I don't have a ****ing clue about what to do.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Both genders tend to view the physical aspects of a person first before the mention of " personality". If you have to rate yourself on a scale of 1-10, what number would you give yourself?
Surrealist Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 I'm gonna take a slightly different approach to what most people will probably say..... Q. Does everyone work hard? A. Yes. Q. Is everyone rich? A. No. Life is random and unpredictable. We all work hard at things and yet, many of us still live in poverty or mediocrity (ie Working continually to pay off a mortgage). Some people are just luckier, or navigate through life better, or otherwise just climb the mountain easier and more efficiently than others. The same thing occurs in the dating world. Some have it, some dont, bro. Just need to learn to enjoy life whether you're single or not.
that girl Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 It seems women were put off by me just approaching them. Most of the times, they'd say something mean or vulgar to me, and they'd either tip their drink over me, at which point security staff would remove me from the premises, but one time was worse than most. One girl got so frightened that I'd approached her to try and initiate conversation with her, that she told security that I'd tried to sexually assault her. This raises some questions for me: Are you a huge, possibly scary looking guy? Do you use chat up lines that could be considered vulgar or threatening? Do you go out to borderline violent places? I get that some girls are super mean about rejecting someone, but to have security called on you multiple times seems more than that. I've been ****ing honest and upfront, and that's gotten me nowhere. Honest in what way? I wouldn't mention that you've never dated for one.
PJKino Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 (edited) Im in the same boat at 30,women just arent attracted to me like that so i dont bother wasting my or their time I was sad and depressed about it for awhile now im just apathetic to it ive become comfortable being alone and not having women in my life Edited October 28, 2010 by PJKino
Author PatheticNSingle Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 I'm not huge - well not in that way. Sure I'm a little overweight. Probably moreso now than I used to be. Here's the thing; when I approached women, I couldn't even barely get two syllables out of my mouth, before they were frightened of me. I've got this feeling that I may just be too ugly to find anybody. I will tell you something else that happened to me out at the pubs. I was waiting at a table by myself, a friend had gone to the bar to get a couple of drinks. Two random girls approached me, and said "Umm would you mind going somewhere else. You look like you might be a rapist or a serial killer. You're scaring us." So I said sorry to them ,and just up and left. What does that say about my appearance?
xpaperxcutx Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 I'm not huge - well not in that way. Sure I'm a little overweight. Probably moreso now than I used to be. Here's the thing; when I approached women, I couldn't even barely get two syllables out of my mouth, before they were frightened of me. I've got this feeling that I may just be too ugly to find anybody. I will tell you something else that happened to me out at the pubs. I was waiting at a table by myself, a friend had gone to the bar to get a couple of drinks. Two random girls approached me, and said "Umm would you mind going somewhere else. You look like you might be a rapist or a serial killer. You're scaring us." So I said sorry to them ,and just up and left. What does that say about my appearance? The bold. Define overweight.
that girl Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 I'm not huge - well not in that way. Sure I'm a little overweight. Probably moreso now than I used to be. Here's the thing; when I approached women, I couldn't even barely get two syllables out of my mouth, before they were frightened of me. I've got this feeling that I may just be too ugly to find anybody. I will tell you something else that happened to me out at the pubs. I was waiting at a table by myself, a friend had gone to the bar to get a couple of drinks. Two random girls approached me, and said "Umm would you mind going somewhere else. You look like you might be a rapist or a serial killer. You're scaring us." So I said sorry to them ,and just up and left. What does that say about my appearance? This really isn't a normal reaction. Do you have a female friend or sister you could talk to about improving your look?
leftfordead2 Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 I'm not huge - well not in that way. Sure I'm a little overweight. Probably moreso now than I used to be. Here's the thing; when I approached women, I couldn't even barely get two syllables out of my mouth, before they were frightened of me. I've got this feeling that I may just be too ugly to find anybody. I will tell you something else that happened to me out at the pubs. I was waiting at a table by myself, a friend had gone to the bar to get a couple of drinks. Two random girls approached me, and said "Umm would you mind going somewhere else. You look like you might be a rapist or a serial killer. You're scaring us." So I said sorry to them ,and just up and left. What does that say about my appearance? Hmm, might it be your body language that is putting the girls off? I've known not-so-good looking people and none of them ever had someone said they look like a rapist or serial killer. Maybe it's the way you carry yourself in public? How about showing us your profile?
Sabali Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 I'm not huge - well not in that way. Sure I'm a little overweight. Probably moreso now than I used to be. Here's the thing; when I approached women, I couldn't even barely get two syllables out of my mouth, before they were frightened of me. I've got this feeling that I may just be too ugly to find anybody. I will tell you something else that happened to me out at the pubs. I was waiting at a table by myself, a friend had gone to the bar to get a couple of drinks. Two random girls approached me, and said "Umm would you mind going somewhere else. You look like you might be a rapist or a serial killer. You're scaring us." So I said sorry to them ,and just up and left. What does that say about my appearance? That along with your username says that you are a pathetic troll. You are frightening me now because this could have been so much more clever and hilarious if you had just put a bit more thought into your posts.
Author PatheticNSingle Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 Well I'm about 175cm tall, and I'm about 81kilos. I'd probably like to get down to around 65-70kg.
Author PatheticNSingle Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 That along with your username says that you are a pathetic troll. You are frightening me now because this could have been so much more clever and hilarious if you had just put a bit more thought into your posts. How dare you judge somebody else? I absolutely feel pathetic, every time I have to wake up. I cry myself to sleep probably half the week. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT THE HELL ITS LIKE. WHEN YOU GO TO A FRIENDS ****ING WEDDING AND YOU'RE THE ONLY ****ING SINGLE PERSON THERE.
Sabali Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 How dare you judge somebody else? I absolutely feel pathetic, every time I have to wake up. I cry myself to sleep probably half the week. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT THE HELL ITS LIKE. WHEN YOU GO TO A FRIENDS ****ING WEDDING AND YOU'RE THE ONLY ****ING SINGLE PERSON THERE. **Yawn** You want to see a funny, well-written post then read one of Goldpile's post. It has humor with cleverness that makes the situation almost feel real but it is just a little overtop at just the right amount to let you in on the laugh. Your post fail. I am giving you a big, fat sad face on this paper!
Author PatheticNSingle Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 Stay the **** away from me, you inhuman prick. Do not bother posting on this thread again. You think you can make light of a person's deep, troubled thoughts, at a time when they are vulnerable, and lost and are simply trying to gather insight from others, on where they've gone wrong? Grow up and realise that thoughtless posts like yours can lead to terrible consequences.
Sabali Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Stay the **** away from me, you inhuman prick. Do not bother posting on this thread again. You think you can make light of a person's deep, troubled thoughts, at a time when they are vulnerable, and lost and are simply trying to gather insight from others, on where they've gone wrong? Grow up and realise that thoughtless posts like yours can lead to terrible consequences. I'm gonna go and make me a Martini with those big green olives dunked in it. Anybody else coming?
leftfordead2 Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 OP: Do you have B.O? Do you dress shabbily?
Author PatheticNSingle Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 Well, I guess I probably do have BO. I mean don't we all? I do use deoderant and aftershave. When I'm just around the house, I probably do dress a little shabbily, but whenever I used to go out with mates, I would get dressed up, with a nice shirt, nice pair of pants, etc, clean shaven, etc.
leftfordead2 Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Well, I guess I probably do have BO. I mean don't we all? I do use deoderant and aftershave. When I'm just around the house, I probably do dress a little shabbily, but whenever I used to go out with mates, I would get dressed up, with a nice shirt, nice pair of pants, etc, clean shaven, etc. Hmm well, do you still smell after using deodorant? If you can't tell, ask one of your friends to be honest with you the next time you guys go out. I gotta say smell is a very important part of first impressions. For approaching girls in public etc., if you do not smell nice, girls would not even bother with you for another second even if you're average looking.
olderntwiser Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 hi i am also new here! i know a person who seemed to cause the same kind of reaction in women. i know this may seem over simplified but i think it was because he was always frowning and scowling. life for him had been hard but i think if he could have changed his facial expression he might have been more attractive. then there is always taking care of your body, you know working out etc., think the haulk:) i know that u are unhappy but you are young and can change your life. its not easy but it can be done! best of luck to you, let us know hoe things are going. oh, and thank god those two bit** didnt like your looks, who would want them???
organic1 Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Then started working on my myself -- took a small trip for self reflection on ways I can be better in all aspects of my life. Then took 3 years to save up some money got braces and did lasik surgery. Find ways to stay active and worked out, and aware of what I eat. Also, spent time forcing myself to network to work on my personal interaction skills (I am naturally shy) and went to the community college and took a several communications course. This all took time and like someone said you are young. Building your own self esteem is rewarding and you built it not someone else. You have a wonderful life ahead of you use the time for you. As long as you are happy with yourself you will draw others into your intoxicating energy.
organic1 Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 is your screen name change it to something you want to be -- change your thoughts to be positive. Tell yourself you are attractive and wanted by the opposite sex. When you take time to improve yourself and change your mind set and believe it wonderful things will happen.
Titania22 Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Perhaps you are here for a different purpose. Maybe you could go on a quest for enlightenment. Forget about women. You could meditate on a mountain top, do tai chi in a valley, visit machu pichu at sunrise, etc. Look for the divinity in yourself. Or any other of a thousand other things that can and will change your perspective. The procreation aspect of life is just one part, and it's a part most of us spend an inordinate amount of time on. You have an opportunity to have a different experience of life. So go enjoy, and if you feel motivated when you are on top of a mountain somewhere, ask to be given a soul mate, and then let it go. If you have a soulmate (and I am sure you do), she will be brought to you when you least expect it. And when that happens hold on tight, because that is when your real challenges begin.
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