What NOT to put in an online profile II, stop scolding us!

[irc333]

Okay, at first this profile used to be rather generic, then after a time I've seen her on, she's made a couple of additons, expressing her angst and complete annoyance:

 

These were the parts that were ammendments to their profile:

 

I'm no Barbie I don't have big boobs, Long Blonde hair, I don't plaster my face with make up, I'm not 95 Lbs.

 

I would like to add .... Thank you in advance for checking out my profile... and If I do not reply to your notes don't take it personally,

this online dating is really getting on my nerves ..... WHERE ARE THE REAL MEN ?

 

Gee, she just added, "Where are all the REAL men?"

 

Sorry that it's getting on your nerves, but hey, sorry we're not even "Real Men" as you put it. While some guys are sorry you don't have big boobs, we're sorry we're not "real men".

 

Love it when these profiles start to sound like they're talking more AT you as if you're being scolded.LOL

 

I think that's the most overused phrase a woman can use in her profile, I commended her for not having it...at first, however, now that she's added it.....I feel like breaking that good ol' broken record. LOL

Edited October 28, 2010 by irc333

[Lorelai]

Or the equivalent:

 

"oh and if u aint serious about talking to me then dont leave me a message im getting sick of the bs from all these fake women that dont know what they really want if i affended well stuff deal with it"

 

Negativity is a turn-off.

[D-Lish]

This is the kind of profile you should pass by.

It's the same when I see a guy that posts "IF YOU'RE INTO DRAMA OR HEAD GAMES MOVE ON TO THE NEXT PROFILE". I see that a lot.

 

You don't want to broadcast your bitterness... But a lot of people make the mistake of doing so.

[NickelbackFan]

Personally, I don't see it as bitterness. I see it was outlining what you DONT want in a relationship. As long as its tactful, you can express that you are not looking for drama or games or whatever else it is you feel turns you off, but doing so in a tactful or humorous manner.

[D-Lish]

Personally, I don't see it as bitterness. I see it was outlining what you DONT want in a relationship. As long as its tactful, you can express that you are not looking for drama or games or whatever else it is you feel turns you off, but doing so in a tactful or humorous manner.

 

By outlining what you do want, you are presenting a positive profile, and that will attract positive people.

 

Having a big laundry list of what you don't want indicates that you're bitter.

 

It's one thing to specify that you have dogs, so someone with an allergy or aversion to dogs probably wouldn't be a good fit- it's quite another thing to say "NO DRAMA, NO HEAD GAMES"... That advertises to potential suitors that you're bitter- and prone to drama yourself.

[tkgirl]

there was one guy I dated that I met online that did that with his profile... it was a couple months after things ended with us that he changed it and added this really lame "disclaimer" at the beginning of what he didn't want... ok yeah, I still checked his profile even after we were over anyho, it was a total turn-off and made me see him in a different light... like maybe the problem isn't "us" it was him! Then I also had to wonder if I had any part of that... like what category did I fall under of what he wasn't looking for... jerk!

[Tim The Enchanter]

The irony is that it's probably having a chip on your shoulder, and an inflated sense of self-importance, that has kept those people single.

[irc333]

...not TOO bad, but...I'll put it anyway...just the PART that's the negative:

 

She starst off with:

 

I am convinced that no man reads these profiles. They look at the picture and send an email. I had my first paragraph explaining what I do and don't look for in a partner, I still got emails from men that fit the description of what I do not want. I am not sure it if is funny or pathetic. But hopefully, someone will prove me wrong.

 

 

 

I am looking for friendship and a relationship, so if you are just looking for some fun, please do not contact me. Please do not email me if you are shorter than me, bald or balding (unless you shave it as a preference), overweight, has a hairy/furry back, not between the ages of 32 and 46, a biker, a non-drinker or a bible thumper.

 

 

Guess all those bald guys and hairy dudes still email her regardless....poor her. LOL

 

As usually, typical one night stand comment, that's reasonable, but I see it all the time.

 

And now the "please do NOT email me if" (seeing a lot of "please do NOT email me if...." dating profiles lately, too.

 

Do not email me IF:

 

1. You're shorter than me (She is 5'8", I'm 5'8" too, so we're the same, but I bet money she still thinks SAME ht. is too short for her.

 

2. Bald or balding (well, obviously I'm out of the running, I'm balding, well, already bald actually, I could shave it all and pose as a person with hair (like in that SEINFELD episode where Elaine's boyfreind was always head shaven, then he finally decided to grow it back and even he realized he was bald, lol)

 

3. Has a hairy/furry back. (Didn't really think this was a deal breaker for too many women, since hair is something that grows on men, and what makes a man a man.

 

4. She won't date a non-drinker (Translation, I'm a boozehead, and if you don't order water, tea or soda, you'll make me feel guilty about my drinking)

 

Oh by the way, she's 40, single, never married no children.....and I've seen her all the time on the same dating sites.

 

IN case you see some kind of thread or topic about a "A person who is 40+ and has never been married", this is probably one of those reasons.

 

They are not even marriage material, they have so many hang ups that a marriage would drive them insane, because there are some LITTLE things you might have to put up with in a relationship or marriage, and sometimes a hairy back MIGHT just be one of them.

 

The sense of importance is in her online profile, something involving her own beauty (it's a witty screen name involving the beach, like "Beach bunny beauty" or something like that.

 

I actually saw a profile of a woman that said, "9 out of 10 seeks the same" (meaning a rating in physical appearance)

Edited October 28, 2010 by irc333

[Tim The Enchanter]

 

The sense of importance is in her online profile, something involving her own beauty (it's a witty screen name involving the beach, like "Beach bunny beauty" or something like that.

 

I actually saw a profile of a woman that said, "9 out of 10 seeks the same" (meaning a rating in physical appearance)

 

As I said, I think a lot of these women are on dating sites (and therefore single) because of their attitude. The sad thing is that many of them won't realise it until before long, they're in their mid thirties and their looks start to deteriorate. Then they realise that it was only their looks which ever got them anywhere with men when they were younger. Now they're older, less appealing and have a lousy attitude to boot.

[Untouchable_Fire]

As I said, I think a lot of these women are on dating sites (and therefore single) because of their attitude. The sad thing is that many of them won't realise it until before long, they're in their mid thirties and their looks start to deteriorate. Then they realise that it was only their looks which ever got them anywhere with men when they were younger. Now they're older, less appealing and have a lousy attitude to boot.

 

Maybe they are not really trying to get a guy. Perhaps those types have spent more than a few years over on the OW forum and just are not ready to meet a single guy... but feel the need to try anyway.

[irc333]

Well, I have to admit, I dated a 46 year old that still looked good for her age...(Probably due to good genes and working out), but she did have wrinkles and some greying hair, which I don't mind)....so as long as they think they still "got the goods", they'll still continue to be picky.

 

I even have heard of senior citizens being just as overlyu picky.

 

 

As I said, I think a lot of these women are on dating sites (and therefore single) because of their attitude. The sad thing is that many of them won't realise it until before long, they're in their mid thirties and their looks start to deteriorate. Then they realise that it was only their looks which ever got them anywhere with men when they were younger. Now they're older, less appealing and have a lousy attitude to boot.

[D-Jam]

I think anyone who posts a laundry list or the "Drama queens stay away" or "No Liars!" things are not helping matters any.

 

If we have a hypothetically hot girl, say she's a "9". She educated, good career, killer body, beautiful face, long flowing hair, and even down-to-Earth...but somehow she's single and not finding good men in her social life, so she joins a dating site.

 

Now she posts on her profile she prefers athletic men who are at least 6' tall, have education and career, wants marriage and children, full head of hair, etc...and even tosses on there the "a**holes stay away" or "no liars and playas" comments...

 

...nothing will change. Fat short bald guys will email her, and liars/playas/jerks will email her.

 

Why is this? For many, they don't even bother or care about what she wrote. They simply think she won't bother browsing profiles and thus they need to get something in her inbox to even be possibly seen. Yeah she asked for tall athletes who make good money and aren't balding, but they still think it's better to try than to listen to her and move on.

 

Playas and liars are the same mentality. They only see the comments as the nudge to take her challenge and see if they can nail her, bypassing all her supposed defenses.

 

Jerks will never think of themselves as jerks. Much like we see spoiled bitches who think they're "good people". So despite that Mr. Jerk might get drunk and become a monster to her, he still believes he's a good man and a great catch.

 

And there you go...no one out there that might be the "ugly" or "undesirable" will ever look at themselves as that. So if Ms Hypothetical might only have eyes for Jude Law types, the Jason Alexanders out there will still email her hoping they might get an opening.

 

 

I agree negativity is a turnoff, but I also think men and women need to realize that on a dating site, no words will ever keep the "bad elements" out of your life. You could put height and age restrictions, and one can simply lie on their profile to bypass it and email you. There could be body type restrictions, and that will just make the fatties put "athletic" or "average" as their body type.

 

People need to stop thinking they can "ugly-proof" their dating site experience and just do the work it takes finding the one desirable out of the many undesirables you come across.

[flying]

I agree negativity is a turnoff, but I also think men and women need to realize that on a dating site, no words will ever keep the "bad elements" out of your life. You could put height and age restrictions, and one can simply lie on their profile to bypass it and email you. There could be body type restrictions, and that will just make the fatties put "athletic" or "average" as their body type.

 

People need to stop thinking they can "ugly-proof" their dating site experience and just do the work it takes finding the one desirable out of the many undesirables you come across.

 

I agree...it seems kind of like a waste of effort to put "don't email me if" on one's profile, as people will anyway and it just comes across as needlessly negative and bitter.

 

I think a better plan is to state what you like, be aware people will ignore it and then just sift through the emails you receive and see who strikes your fancy.

 

When I was doing OLD, there were plenty of people who ignored my preferences (not stated in the profile, just the checked-off boxes). My current BF was one of those - he was older than my stated range, but I liked what he wrote and wanted to meet him.

 

I had also stated that I didn't want to date men who already had kids - got those emails too. I understand why they wanted to just go for it, but it didn't change my mind about it. It was only annoying when I responded "sorry, no, I actually meant that" and they still wouldn't give up.

[Disillusioned]

When these women are in their 80s and 90s in nursing homes, maybe they'll still feel as smug there's no guy worthy of them (smirk, smirk).

[Tim The Enchanter]

 

People need to stop thinking they can "ugly-proof" their dating site experience and just do the work it takes finding the one desirable out of the many undesirables you come across.

 

Wise words. I've been on many internet dates in the last few years, mostly ok ones but a few bad and a couple of nightmares. I just take that as the luck of the draw and try to learn from my mistakes. There's only so much you can tell about someone from their profile, no matter how clear and plenteous their photos and detailed their personal statement. You have to be prepared to go along and be surprised, whether that's good surprise or disappointed surprise.

[Disillusioned]

Not like people would do the sensible thing---leave their emotions out of it until after they meet the other person and decide whether or not they find them likeable. That would make too much sense, which is against the rules of dating.

[dispatch3d]

Some women are bitter about dating too. That sucks. Why get so wrapped up in this?

[irc333]

Oh oh, another "UPDATE" to a woman's profile LOL

 

********UPDATE********

 

OK guys.....WTF???? If we're out on a date and I find myself payin for my own sh*t....DONT MESSAGE ME!!! This girl aint payin for nothin'! If you cant be a REAL MAN....dont even damn bother!!!!!! A lady should be finding herself wined and dined...not finding herself payin for her own sh*t while out on a date with YOU!....Now thas kinda F'd up!!!!!

[tincanman99]

I have seen this tossed around on a number of women's profiles and dont understand what it means.

 

Someone want to explain it to me?

[GorillaTheater]

Oh oh, another "UPDATE" to a woman's profile LOL

 

********UPDATE********

 

OK guys.....WTF???? If we're out on a date and I find myself payin for my own sh*t....DONT MESSAGE ME!!! This girl aint payin for nothin'! If you cant be a REAL MAN....dont even damn bother!!!!!! A lady should be finding herself wined and dined...not finding herself payin for her own sh*t while out on a date with YOU!....Now thas kinda F'd up!!!!!

 

I have absolutely no issue with well-traveled PhD's. But attitude and anger I can get anywhere. I'm certainly not paying for it.

[flying]

I have absolutely no issue with well-traveled PhD's. But attitude and anger I can get anywhere. I'm certainly not paying for it.

 

:lmao:

[irc333]

here's another one, practially half her profile is a list of DON'TS!

 

* PLEASE DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF YOU MEET THE FOLLOWING CRITERIA *

 

* DIVORCED ~ I want a clean slate, I want to take vows with him someday TOGETHER for the FIRST time 1/1 no 2/1 deals here

* HAVE CHILDREN ~ I MAY want some children of MY OWN someday

* DOES NOT LIKE ANIMALS/CHILDREN ~ I work with children and have pets of my own

* ARE A NEGATIVE PERSON~ These kind of people are too draining and unproductive in life

* ARE LOOKING FOR AN INTIMATE ENCOUNTER~ You are NOT dealing with a teenager here and because my momma raised me right, also I am not that kind of women as well.

* MESSAGE ME WITH OUT READING MY PROFILE ~ Come on, that goes with out saying. Do your homework people

* SHOULD BE BETWEEN THE AGES OF 28-35~ Because I want to grow old with someone. Not rock the cradle, or dust the cobwebs off either.

* DO ANY KIND OF DRUGS~ Say NO to drugs. Would rather spend my time, health, and money into something uh LEGAL perhaps.

* NON-SPIRITUAL ~ Because I believe in a higher authority. Maybe you should give the big man upstairs a call sometime. He could do wonders!

* DOES NOT WANT TO GET MARRIED~ Because I DO someday, like MOST women out there fellas. This should not be a shocker!

* DRINKS MORE THAN 2X'S A WEEK~ Because I don't want to have AA on speed dial.

* HAS NO SENSE OF HUMOR~ Laughter is good and NATURAL medicine, have you tried some today?!?

* DOES NOT LIKE CURVY WOMEN~ Because I have curves like the Sahara Desert

* CAN NOT LAUGH AT HIMSELF ONCE IN A WHILE (WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES)~ Life is too short, to be so serious all the time. Lighten up!

* CAN NOT CARRY ON AN INTELLECTUAL CONVERSATION~ Because I want to have debates, discussions, and share or opinions and point-of-views from one each other. This keeps us learning from one another.

* A SHALLOW PERSON~ This kind of person only likes what's on the outside. But what he doesn't know if that looks are only good until a certain point (just like our reproductive system is too). Looks come and go, the heart is what never gets old.

 

** Now I know that list may have some people upset or the opposite effect. Yess, it can be overwhelming but I am not here to waste mine or your time either. I am looking to eventually settle down someday. The clock does not stop for anyone! I am only trying to speed up the process.**

 

 

That is all...well t hat part of the profile

 

I saw her curves, they are great...very nice...and she's not not one of those women that says she has 'Curves" and she's actually just a blimp...but they are indeed TRUE curves.

 

Anyhow, sure there are some things in her list that I don't even want, but I don't want to post it...yelling at people. lol

Edited November 3, 2010 by irc333

[TheMENemy]

Oh oh, another "UPDATE" to a woman's profile LOL

 

********UPDATE********

 

OK guys.....WTF???? If we're out on a date and I find myself payin for my own sh*t....DONT MESSAGE ME!!! This girl aint payin for nothin'! If you cant be a REAL MAN....dont even damn bother!!!!!! A lady should be finding herself wined and dined...not finding herself payin for her own sh*t while out on a date with YOU!....Now thas kinda F'd up!!!!!

 

What a coincidence. A LoveShacker.

[TheMENemy]

* DOES NOT LIKE CURVY WOMEN~ Because I have curves like the Sahara Desert

 

She's sassy, she's curvy.....

 

is it true?

 

 

Could Oprah be back on the dating market?