He's going for lunch with a girl that openly flirts with him

[CanadianGirl83]

Been together with my BF for just over 4 months

 

There's a couple of girls that are really flirty with him on facebook. Which is fine, I get it, I have old boyfriends on my facebook. I also chat with them from time to time.

 

BF and I both agreed that there will be no "retroactive" jealousy.

 

Except:

I find a postcard from one of the girls at his house without a stamp on it saying "This is what you asked for Love xoxo *her name*". At first I didn't care, but then HE came over and said "Oh, you might have seen this. Just want to let you know I haven't even met this person. She's just a facebook friend." I laughed it off because I didn't care; but then I started thinking:

 

How did the postcard get in his possession without her mailing it and without their being an address or a stamp on it?

 

I later asked him and he said "Oh it was in another envelope."

 

Then there's another girl that really is openly flirting with him on facebook. I brought up with him and he acknowledged that yes she is. She comments on his posts and puts in things like *looks away cutely*.

 

I brought this up with him and he said "Oh, it's just a girl I used to work with a *secretary*at my old work (profession changed for the sake of anonymity- but pretty specific profession). I appreciated that he acknowledged her flirtiness. It didn't bother me, because I understand he's an attractive man. I would flirt with him too if I didn't know he was in a relationship.

 

Then last night I was thinking and I remembered her told me he went out for lunch with a *secretary* from his old work about two weeks ago.

It's the girl that was flirting with him on facebook.

 

Him going out on "dates" with girls that are openly flirting with him I definetly have a problem with.

 

Now I'm upset.

 

Am I overreacting?

What should I do?

[machiavellian]

I wouldn't date a guy that was dating other girls either.

 

Dump him.

[CanadianGirl83]

He just said "he went out for lunch with so-and-so from my old work."

 

Is it dating if you know someone has a crush on you and you go out for lunch with them?

[shayan]

the fact that he is so open is nice. Chillm don't jump to conclusion yet. Have you tried asking him if he would introduce you to some of these girls?

[machiavellian]

I personally do not think that men or women should go out to eat, alone, with a member of the opposite sex who clearly flirts with them, when one or more parties is in a committed relationship.

 

If a man takes a woman he is attracted to and who flirts with him out to lunch, that is a date, and if nothing else it LOOKS like a date, which IMO is inappropriate. If you had happened to walk in the restaurant they were in and could have misconstrued the situation, it is inappropriate and he is wrong, by my standards.

[CanadianGirl83]

I just spoke with him

 

1.) he magically doesn't remember that he told me that he went for lunch with genderless *occupation* from previous work after a specific event ever.

THAT, he only saw her DURING the specific event.

 

I remember him specifically telling me that he did.

 

2.) now downplays the flirting online. saying that she does that to everyone, eventhough last time we spoke about it he acknowledged that she flirts with him.

 

He says she invited us both to a dinner but he did not mention is because we already had plans, and that he would show me the thread of their conversations.

 

 

Now I'm either insane and remembering things wrong and overreacting OR I'm being lied to- both which makes me sad. Can't win

 

What should I do?

I love him so much.

[CanadianGirl83]

Also he says he went for coffee with her a few times before he met me and that she suggested to going for lunch with him two months ago.

[D-Lish]

I wouldn't be accepting of this kind of behaviour for one second.

 

You might feel confused about it because he's "being so open" which tends to make you think twice about whether or not you're being "crazy" to feel worried.

 

Nothing you've mentioned about his antics would make me feel safe in a relationship with this guy.

[CanadianGirl83]

Thank you for everyone's advice.

 

I haven't told him everything yet. I think the reason why I am overreacting and freaking out is because today I went to the doctor and found out I'm pregnant.

 

The thing is, I can't be pregant because we only did it standing up. I don't know how I feel about this. He is French and I'm white. Will my baby have a French accent?

 

I don't know what to do, but I really really love him

 

mil:gylw2aou.

[BellaBellaBella]

How old are you? How old is he? You can get pregnant standing up.

 

Babies have the accent of people who they hear talking to them.

Edited October 29, 2010 by BellaBellaBella

[Kinder-Horror]

Thank you for everyone's advice.

 

I haven't told him everything yet. I think the reason why I am overreacting and freaking out is because today I went to the doctor and found out I'm pregnant.

 

The thing is, I can't be pregant because we only did it standing up. I don't know how I feel about this. He is French and I'm white. Will my baby have a French accent?

 

I don't know what to do, but I really really love him

 

mil:gylw2aou.

 

You can't be serious....

[GorillaTheater]

The thing is, I can't be pregant because we only did it standing up. I don't know how I feel about this. He is French and I'm white. Will my baby have a French accent?

 

I give this troll an "A". I honestly did not see this coming, the hallmark of someone who truly knows what they're doing.

 

Please stay. We need to upgrade the quality of trolls around here.

[Dexter Morgan]

If gf of mine knew a guy was interested in her and knew he was flirting with her.....then went to lunch with a guy she knows wants to bone her...i don't care what her flimsy excuse......I'd tell her to not come home or come back again.