MargaretNoelle Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Hi. I could use some advice. If you're going to tell me not to stereotype blah blah please don't read lol. Sorry if this is long but PLEASE help. Where do I start... I've always considered myself to have pretty good gaydar. Not that I assess whether every person is gay, but if I happen to stumble across someone who appears to be many times I've been right. I have never ever had the idea that anyone I'd dated or been having sex with had been gay until my current boyfriend. We're both in our early twenties and have been together a few years. When I first heard him speak, I thought his voice was pretty gay sounding. Not flamboyant, though, so I just ignored it. He was pursuing me heavily to become his girlfriend. However, once I became his "girlfriend" initially (the beginning stage is always the most fun) he rarely called me or even wanted to hang out in the beginning of the relationship (maybe twice a week I'd see him). When we would hang out he'd pick me up at night, take me to his apartment where we'd hang out with his guy roommates the whole time (not alone) then we'd go to his room to have sex at the end of the night. Usually when I started dating someone we'd be all over each other having sex like animals in the beginning. You're always extra horny with someone new. And he'd always be high (off marijuana) when he picked me up (which makes it easier for someone to have sex orgasm etc for those of you who don't smoke). He never had problems becoming aroused or cumming though in the beginning. Now, I can't say he does now either, but sometimes he won't pop a boner that quickly and he usually cums after like 10 minutes (I was used to much shorter than that with my other bfs and they could cum like 3 times). And its not because he masturbated because the amount of semen will still be a lot. I have used his computer countless times and have only seen pornography in his history twice, both times of women squirting cum. I theorize that he is in denial himself about being gay, and maybe he feels straight watching it bc it is a woman but the act of shooting cum is kind of a masculine sex thing. Regarding his sexual history before me he had some one night stands and sexual flings in college and I'm thinking it could've either been 1) he was trying to seem very ungay or 2) (if he's not gay) he was just a horny normal guy. He also told me his girls could sometimes cum twice before he ever finished himself during sex (wouldn't it be likely that a 19 year old guy would finish pretty quickly?) Nonsexual signs that make me paranoid he is gay (beware stereotypes follow). I also think people are born gay so keep that in mind. - he is a neatfreak and loves cleaning and always needs his space absolutely spotless - he is good dresser and dresses kind of gay - he takes awhile to gel his hair everyday and is constantly rubbing lotion all over him - he has TONS of expensive colognes and cares about which one he wears and keeps them all neat (basically he makes me feel like less of a girl bc im not like that) - his apartment literally looks like a gay man lives there. its spotless but also the furniture, pictures he chooses to hang (other than sports pictures), etc are all very feminine - he sways his hips when he walks -he has very soft features feminine like on his face -his body is shaped like a woman's body i have never seen a man's body like it - he was my only boyfriend who didn't care for eating box (you know what i mean). hell do it but he doesnt like it. everyone else was obsessed. - he always talked about people he didnt like being faggots etc and hates when people act flamingly gay - however his best friend just came out as gay and it didnt phase him -he is not affectionate or touchy feely with me and usually i initiate sex, but he will buy his family very sappy emotional cards for bdays etc - he is OBSESSED with his mom -penis is smallest one ive ever seen by a LOT in life ive seen about 30 signs hes not -obsessed with football -says he wants to marry me -is capable of having sex fairly easily with me PLEEEEASE HELP IVE ALWAYS HAD SUSPICIONS IM DESPERATE WHAT DO YOU THINK
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 You poor girl... I bet you are or would be great company in stats class, or in math class. I love the way you are studying all of the details... and talk about doing so 'just like a guy'... While I admit cheerfully that you have covered and overlapped plenty of stereotypes while pleading your case, I have thus far found nothing in your words that even gives cause for 'alarm'. "A few years" with him and you don't really have any damning evidence of his being gay. Some of his evolution may be from the steady drug use. "10 minutes" before ejaculation is weeeeeeeeeeeeell within the range of normal and (in many cases) hoped-for target for a male. Because you were younger, and with younger guys, your sense OF what is 'typical' of men during sex is a bit off. If I could sit here and be guaranteed to ALWAYS climax after 9 minutes and 59 seconds for the rest of my life, I'd be willing to make that deal just to assure that I never had to worry about climaxing earlier. (ahem, not that I DO so as a habit, but I'm trying to suggest that I'd be quite content to take your "ten minutes") Oh boy... porn in his computer history and it is about (female) "squirting"?? You are REALLY stretching to try to equate that with gay interests. I'd have to admit that the societal 'buzz' about squirting in general is overblown, but it isn't on the path toward gaydom. And one cannot critique the phrase: "SOMEtimes girls can come twice before a guy (climaxes)" As for the "eating box" part... yeah, I wish it were me with a consenting 'box' that wanted to be eaten... but alas, there are MANY guys who are so personally stunted that they won't even go near... (one can't equate that to being gay) Penis size probably has no known relationship to sexual preference... and I'm glad that you are otherwise content with him despite his size - good for you that way. I can appreciate that you have concerns, and I love that you are into all the details, but I don't think you have any red lights flashing just yet. Why not try an experiment: Take up an interest in porn yourself... meaning, only when with HIM, and in relation to your intimate time together... and at some point... tryyyyyyyyyyyyyy to steer the mouse toward gay-male porn... just because YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU "like to look at hard c*cks!" ... and then monitor his reactions. Fully heterosexual males tend to balk at naked guys, and especially at gay-male porn (as in... turn his head away from the screen hoping to get the images off of there before he has to see them again). IF your guy reacts in similar ways... then you're pretty safe. I've not seen ANYthing among your list of carefully-offered details that gives me reason for true concern about his possibly being gay.
Sabali Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 I like these "is my boyfriend gay" thread. I like them because usually the signs the boyfriend gives are so blatantly obvious gay that it should sound off gaydars loudly. But this one is different. You can't exactly pin this guy down on his orientation from the info above and I can understand the OP's dilemma. Op, considering the info above, I think the more important question here is are you gay? I mean, the guy looks feminine and act feminine yet you are attracted to him. I'm just kidding. I couldn't resist... The issue here may not be that your boyfriend is gay but it seems to point to a more of a physiologic phenomena as a cause for your boyfriend's appearance and behavior. When a male does not produce enough testosterone for normal male development, he develops more of a feminine appearance and traits including micropenis. This does not necessarily make him gay. Now, he could very well still be wondering if he is gay himself but all of the other stuff you listed seem suspicious since it is in context of his feminine features. He was looking up straight porn on his PC so that is a good sign. That is a very male thing to do but he still has to eat your box. He can't get out of that one.
Author MargaretNoelle Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 Lenny and Taurus, I am for real lol. If troll means you thought it was fake. Wow this whole time I thought the possibility of my bf being gay was pretty obvious (at least to me) but I guess you guys have made me think I am being ridiculous haha. Also Taurus does Terps mean you're from MD like the md terps? jw Sincereguy and Sabali, thanks so much for taking my post seriously lol. you did make me laugh. i guess a lot of the things could seem like a stretch, and probably are. I guess the smaller signs that initially alarmed me (the way he holds his arms, the way he walks, talks, his mannerisms, his gay slurs like faggot, his self maintenance) made me examine other things. a few more things i didnt point out, though as a teen he told me he was subscribed to teen people (isnt that for girls?) and i found his cd collection that he had burned with his now "out" gay friend in middle/high school which had britney madonna janet etc. kinda weirded me out. also, (im not trying to brag to ppl online lol, just being honest) but i am very hot. guys make over me all the time and i dont think ive lived one day after my teens without being hit on somewhere or someone making a comment about my looks. i also maintain my body well and have d boobs that are perky. my bf doesnt seem to care. i could be walking around totally naked out of the shower and he would keep watching whatever hes watching on tv! my other bfs used to trounce me every chance (again coulda been the age). and when we have sex he likes doggy and he doesnt touch my boobs really or engage me that much he kinda just turns his head to the side or closes his eyes also he lasts sooo long when i give him a bj i wonder if hes thinking about something else. could be a straight something else lol im not necessarily saying this means hes gay. it also concerns me bc i wonder how well even have sex when im older and dont look this way anymore if now isnt even sufficient. and sincereguy, i know 10 minutes isnt bad. i guess what i was trying to say is that he NEVER finishes quickly. he never will finish in just a few minutes. i mean doesnt everyone once in awhile? im not a guy so all this guy advice is greeeeatly appreciated haha. Sabali, you really intrigued me with the testosterone/ micropenis thing. He does have an INCREDIBLY small penis. I feel sorry for saying it but this is annonymous anyway. Maybe that's the missing link! lol. Perhaps his lack of testosterone resulted in his small penis (which i def think fits under the definition of micropenis), feminine features and feminine characteristics. ill google it. plus i thought every straight guy loved to eat box mine is very hygenic and cute and other boys begged to. so it threw me off when he never tried doing it. i guess it just isnt his thing. or hes gay lol jk. anyways, after these brief updates has anyones opinion changed? or am i still a crazy knitpicking math class freak haha. lastly who even knows about sexuality i guess. i loooove lesbian porn its the only kind i can watch. if porn even has a dick in it im not aroused at all. and sometimes when my bf does eat my box and im tryin to cum i just think about girls gettin it on haha. meanwhile i have tried actually getting with a few girls in real life and have not been turned on whatsoever. only by guys. so who even knows about this crazy stuff haha.
Author MargaretNoelle Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 are you making fun of me?haha. i dont think (even if hes gay) that he acts on it. hed be one of those people who would try their best even to themselves to live a completely straight life. if hes gay, thats what i think hes doing. in denial. he also has anger issues and a horrible temper so maybe its beause of something? and by shaped like a woman's, i mean that from behind (aside from being tall and the short hair) you would probably mistake him for a 60 yr old woman. he has long legs that are shaped strangely, a very small weird butt and a really short torso where he carries alll his fat. he has a huge gut and huge love handles and was shaped like that even in high school. and of course like a cup boobs. even if he did get into shape, he could never have like a 6 pack or anything because of the weird shape of his body. havent seen many boys our age who carry literally all their weight in their gut and love handles
Sabali Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 are you making fun of me?haha. i dont think (even if hes gay) that he acts on it. hed be one of those people who would try their best even to themselves to live a completely straight life. if hes gay, thats what i think hes doing. in denial. he also has anger issues and a horrible temper so maybe its beause of something? and by shaped like a woman's, i mean that from behind (aside from being tall and the short hair) you would probably mistake him for a 60 yr old woman. he has long legs that are shaped strangely, a very small weird butt and a really short torso where he carries alll his fat. he has a huge gut and huge love handles and was shaped like that even in high school. and of course like a cup boobs. even if he did get into shape, he could never have like a 6 pack or anything because of the weird shape of his body. havent seen many boys our age who carry literally all their weight in their gut and love handles I was just about to ask you about this stuff next. It really sounds like your boyfriend may have Klinefelter's syndrome. I was going to ask you if he was tall and how is his weight carried and how was his temperament. Klinefelter's syndrome results from having an extra x chromosome and as a result they are "less male." These individuals also have a decreased libido, short torso, small testicles, female type pubic hair distribution, can carry weight in their abdomen and torso, low testosterone, and have long legs etc,. I bet you that is what he has. From the sounds of it, you seem to have some female attraction so maybe your boyfriend is a happy in-between for you. How old is your BF?
Author MargaretNoelle Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 Sabali, holy ****. I am SO happy I posted here. OH MY GOD THOUGH I AM FREAKING OUT. i really hope you respond again because i have experienced a revelation. after googling klinefelter's syndrome (which i have never heard of, where did you hear of it?) I am POSITIVE my boyfriend has it. I am about to cry though actually. The wikipedia picture looked EXACTLY like his body. exactly. as if it were his body. except my bf has bigger areola (nipples). oh my god he fits EVERY SINGLE trait described. i dont need to go over them. this explains EVERYTHING! oh my god. so does klinefelter's mean he could be feminine but not gay? i also read that they almost always are infertile. wow im freaking out. i want kids and also a masculine husband. if he in fact has it (if i can figure out a way for him to get tested) would anyone suggest ending my 3 year relationship now? PLEEEASE HELP and thank you so much everything is appreciate. oh my god and thanks sabali
Sabali Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Sabali, holy ****. I am SO happy I posted here. OH MY GOD THOUGH I AM FREAKING OUT. i really hope you respond again because i have experienced a revelation. after googling klinefelter's syndrome (which i have never heard of, where did you hear of it?) I am POSITIVE my boyfriend has it. I am about to cry though actually. The wikipedia picture looked EXACTLY like his body. exactly. as if it were his body. except my bf has bigger areola (nipples). oh my god he fits EVERY SINGLE trait described. i dont need to go over them. this explains EVERYTHING! oh my god. so does klinefelter's mean he could be feminine but not gay? i also read that they almost always are infertile. wow im freaking out. i want kids and also a masculine husband. if he in fact has it (if i can figure out a way for him to get tested) would anyone suggest ending my 3 year relationship now? PLEEEASE HELP and thank you so much everything is appreciate. oh my god and thanks sabali No problem. I just clean up the place. Once you gave me the missing link of info in your previous post, I was able to put it all together for Klinefelter's syndrome. The description was just so spot on. You provided a great description of the physical features and symptoms. The symptoms of Klinefelter's does not necessarily make an individual gay. These men are just "less male" due to the extra X chromosome and less testosterone that is produced because of the genetic defect. Klinefelter's is diagnosed with genetic testing. This is expensive testing. You don't just go around and get people genetic testing. There is very much to consider regarding the possible consequences of learning a diagnosis through genetic testing. Unless he is very curious about his condition or concerned about possibly starting a family, I wouldn't push it, especially if he will lose his girlfriend of 3 years after the diagnosis is made. If you are hot as you say you are, I am sure he wouldn't want that. I can't do much for you wanting a masculine husband but if you like dating a masculine man, in my spare time I like to hang out with the fellas at construction sites and yell vulgar comments at the hot women who walk by. And if you walk by me naked while I'm watching TV be prepared to hear those same vulgar comments and assume the position. I'm just saying...
Author MargaretNoelle Posted October 29, 2010 Author Posted October 29, 2010 now im pretty upset tho. really, how did you ever hear of it? i have NEVER and i doubt anyone he knows has either because he and his family are ignorant of it. the most concerning part i read is that most 99% of these men r infertile. so should i simply suggest a fertility test? i cant marry someone infertile. also, does this mean hes part woman? im confused!!! explains everything the small penis body shape hairless armpits and chest high pitched voice wow unbelievable
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 Margaret Noelle, YOU are sincerely adorable! (and by the way, a guy gets more points for picking-up on that when he hasn't seen your fetching exterior) The DETAILS you bring out are impressive... I mean, you have NOT landed your b/f in the "yup, he's gay" circle with ANY of them, BUT your thoughts are very realistic and not far-fetched, AND you have so many details too! I'm kind of excited that the other poster nailed something so highly likely that does NOT condemn your b/f as being 'hopelessly gay' in your eyes... AND which opens a window that lets your many studies of your guy have been so meaningful at the same time. Lastly, a very attractive woman who has a sharp mind for detail is risking drawing lots of eyes AWAY from her physical charms and toward her mind. (NOW you're gonna have to study the how's and why's of "is THAT even possible???" before you will be able to believe me) (laugh - and lordy, I'm guessing you have LOTS of details and experiences you could report on that topic) Fun, fun, fun, this thread...
Sabali Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 now im pretty upset tho. really, how did you ever hear of it? i have NEVER and i doubt anyone he knows has either because he and his family are ignorant of it. the most concerning part i read is that most 99% of these men r infertile. so should i simply suggest a fertility test? i cant marry someone infertile. also, does this mean hes part woman? im confused!!! explains everything the small penis body shape hairless armpits and chest high pitched voice wow unbelievable Um, when I sleep, little aliens visit me at night and implant information into my brain. Yeah...that's the ticket... Why are you upset? Things are less mysterious for you now. Right? If you are upset, think of how your boyfriend might feel if you bring this up to him. Maybe he is fine with who he is. Yes, if he does indeed have Klinefelter's, he will most likely be infertile but let's not jump the gun here. If he is concerned about this, he should be the one who visit his personal doctor and discuss it with that person. I wouldn't pressure the guy. It is possible for a person with Klinefelter to still have children with fertilization treatment. He is not part woman. He is just "less male." By default, during development, when a male produces less testosterone, they development more feminine physical features. He has an extra X chromosome. Normal males have an X and Y chromosome. Females have two X chromosomes. In Klinefelter's, the men simply have an extra X chromosome making them less male than one with one X and one Y. Normal male: XY Normal Female: XX Klinefelter's: XXY I agree with the above poster. You are adorable. You and your little detective work along with providing all of the right detail in your previous post just makes me weak in the knees. Now get out of here and go and give your man a backrub or two!
Chitowngirl Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 lol...I seriously laughed out loud reading this. My ex fiance was/is gay. He has similarities to your guy, but I actually saw gay porn in my ex fiance's browsing history. Not just watching a female ejaculate..and that is hot to lots of straight men FYI. If your bf watched porn involving a woman lactacting, would that mean he's gay too? I mean her boob kinda looks like a man's ball, and milk could be semen...so... NO My ex fiance watched tons of gay porn, I will never forget seeing that he watched 2 asian men "making love" to each other for 12 minutes.., he would type in "huge coc*s" in search engines, etc. He would look at m4m ads on Craig's list. NOW that is a strong sign he's gay. I dont know your bf but he sounds metro, like the Jersey Shore guys. Hi. I could use some advice. If you're going to tell me not to stereotype blah blah please don't read lol. Sorry if this is long but PLEASE help. Where do I start... I've always considered myself to have pretty good gaydar. Not that I assess whether every person is gay, but if I happen to stumble across someone who appears to be many times I've been right. I have never ever had the idea that anyone I'd dated or been having sex with had been gay until my current boyfriend. We're both in our early twenties and have been together a few years. When I first heard him speak, I thought his voice was pretty gay sounding. Not flamboyant, though, so I just ignored it. He was pursuing me heavily to become his girlfriend. However, once I became his "girlfriend" initially (the beginning stage is always the most fun) he rarely called me or even wanted to hang out in the beginning of the relationship (maybe twice a week I'd see him). When we would hang out he'd pick me up at night, take me to his apartment where we'd hang out with his guy roommates the whole time (not alone) then we'd go to his room to have sex at the end of the night. Usually when I started dating someone we'd be all over each other having sex like animals in the beginning. You're always extra horny with someone new. And he'd always be high (off marijuana) when he picked me up (which makes it easier for someone to have sex orgasm etc for those of you who don't smoke). He never had problems becoming aroused or cumming though in the beginning. Now, I can't say he does now either, but sometimes he won't pop a boner that quickly and he usually cums after like 10 minutes (I was used to much shorter than that with my other bfs and they could cum like 3 times). And its not because he masturbated because the amount of semen will still be a lot. I have used his computer countless times and have only seen pornography in his history twice, both times of women squirting cum. I theorize that he is in denial himself about being gay, and maybe he feels straight watching it bc it is a woman but the act of shooting cum is kind of a masculine sex thing. Regarding his sexual history before me he had some one night stands and sexual flings in college and I'm thinking it could've either been 1) he was trying to seem very ungay or 2) (if he's not gay) he was just a horny normal guy. He also told me his girls could sometimes cum twice before he ever finished himself during sex (wouldn't it be likely that a 19 year old guy would finish pretty quickly?) Nonsexual signs that make me paranoid he is gay (beware stereotypes follow). I also think people are born gay so keep that in mind. - he is a neatfreak and loves cleaning and always needs his space absolutely spotless - he is good dresser and dresses kind of gay - he takes awhile to gel his hair everyday and is constantly rubbing lotion all over him - he has TONS of expensive colognes and cares about which one he wears and keeps them all neat (basically he makes me feel like less of a girl bc im not like that) - his apartment literally looks like a gay man lives there. its spotless but also the furniture, pictures he chooses to hang (other than sports pictures), etc are all very feminine - he sways his hips when he walks -he has very soft features feminine like on his face -his body is shaped like a woman's body i have never seen a man's body like it - he was my only boyfriend who didn't care for eating box (you know what i mean). hell do it but he doesnt like it. everyone else was obsessed. - he always talked about people he didnt like being faggots etc and hates when people act flamingly gay - however his best friend just came out as gay and it didnt phase him -he is not affectionate or touchy feely with me and usually i initiate sex, but he will buy his family very sappy emotional cards for bdays etc - he is OBSESSED with his mom -penis is smallest one ive ever seen by a LOT in life ive seen about 30 signs hes not -obsessed with football -says he wants to marry me -is capable of having sex fairly easily with me PLEEEEASE HELP IVE ALWAYS HAD SUSPICIONS IM DESPERATE WHAT DO YOU THINK
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