HeartOnSleeve Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 When a man says he wants a little chase and to "court" a woman...what's he really saying? Thanks for the decoding help
EasyHeart Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 When a man says he wants a little chase and to "court" a woman...what's he really saying? Thanks for the decoding help That he wants a little chase and to "court" a woman.
GorillaTheater Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 To me, courting is dating-with-marriage-in-mind.
LiveWell Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 He wants her to put up some resistance so when he finally gets intimate with her, he doesn't feel like she f*cks any guy at random, therefore rendering what he has with her, completely empty and meaningless.
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 So what does courting mean? I guess that is where my confusion lies. I've really never been with someone so traditional in my 27 years and numerous relationships...but this guy is amazing and I like the idea, just not sure how to go with the flow...lol.
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 He wants her to put up some resistance so when he finally gets intimate with her, he doesn't feel like she f*cks any guy at random, therefore rendering what he has with her, completely empty and meaningless. Feels like "games" to me and I am not a fan. Eh I'll give it a go Thanks
LiveWell Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Feels like "games" to me and I am not a fan. Eh I'll give it a go Thanks It is games. I'm not saying I play 'em, I just told you my interpretation of the statement you asked about.
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 It is games. I'm not saying I play 'em, I just told you my interpretation of the statement you asked about. Ahhh...got it. Thanks for the decoding. I"ll just use my instincts then!
Girlygirl1977 Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 I think you posted before about playing hard to get right? Is this the same guy - then follow the advice from the previous post. As for the physical element - I think you already had sex right? So if he is saying he wants to court you that's even better after the fact. He still feels good about you. So look back at that post bc they had some good thoughts. I think it just means he wants to be the man and you are the lady. He wants to take you out and be a gentleman who treats you like a lady. So he doesn't want you being aggressive, asking him out, paying your way etc. That's how I would read it - traditional roles.
nddb Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 (edited) I think you posted before about playing hard to get right? Is this the same guy - then follow the advice from the previous post. As for the physical element - I think you already had sex right? So if he is saying he wants to court you that's even better after the fact. He still feels good about you. So look back at that post bc they had some good thoughts. I think it just means he wants to be the man and you are the lady. He wants to take you out and be a gentleman who treats you like a lady. So he doesn't want you being aggressive, asking him out, paying your way etc. That's how I would read it - traditional roles. Agree with all points. Make sure also it's a two-way street. If he prefers a traditional role for him, chances are he also prefers a traditional role for his woman. If this is his preference, don't put him down for it. I earn all the income and I definitely spend energy continuing to woo and court my wife even after years of marriage. And I love it that she cooks for me and takes care of our kids and dresses sexy for me and give her compliments all the time for it (I'm appreciative, trust me). I've had ex-girlfriends for whom such tasks are deemed antiquated and beneath them. They may make great partners for someone else, but not for me. One of them is unmarried last time I ran across her in a grocery store, and still bitter at me about the fact that I didn't propose after years (something about wasting her best years...nevermind the fact that I wasn't exactly happy in those years either and we just coasted on momentum). In contrast, I proposed to my wife within months and it's like night and day. My ex wasn't a bad person. She just wasn't a fit and unwilling to compromise to make it a two-way street. If you can't see yourself being happy with his way of thinking, do both of you a favor and let him know early so he can move on. There are other women for him (just as there are guys for you) that would fit better. From personal experience. Edited October 27, 2010 by nddb
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 Thanks everyone...and yes it is the same guy. We had a little heart to heart last night. I have never had a guys want to "court" me etc. so it's unfamiliar for me to be with a man that wants to be A man...lol (sad I know); and I am certainly open to his views and respect him for speaking up and telling me what he wants and needs. This is what I think I was going for in the post before about games....just didn't word it correctly Appreciate the input...I feel much better about the situation now.
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