livbylove22 Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Hey guys, im kind of fustrated and hurt right now by my boyfriends remark. We were talking on the phone and we ended up talking about having kids and the names we liked. He said he liked victoria so i was like yea me too and we can call her vicky for short. He's like no that's stupid its just victoria. Im like well we can call her both. (We were just joking around about this stuff cause we don't plan on having kids for a long time.) Then he's like she's not YOUR kid she's MY kid. And the way he said it was in a mean nasty tone. Like i was shocked because he has told me he wants us to have kids someday. As far as i knew i thought we were pretty serious considering he tells me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Buy a house and etc.. well my responce was so you don't want me to have your kids?? He's like NOPE. Still in that nasty cold tone. I was so hurt i didn't even know what to say. I just tried to play it off like i had to go. Im so hurt because i love him and i thought we were serious about each other?? I mean he's always told me he loves me wants a future with me this and that. But now this is kind of the opposite. Im SO HURT by this comment. I feel like if this is true if he seriously doesn't want to have kids with me then how could he even want a future with me.. What do you think of this?? Am i overeacting??
JohnM Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Its a pretty thoughtless remark to make to someone, perhaps he became stubborn and then decided to follow through on his remark by re-affirming it. Sounds like he is just being a cock. If it bothered you alot I would tell him you expect an apology and that you want to clarify what your future together entails.
Stung Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 It's rude, and I can see how it would be hurtful, but you should talk to him about it. I can also see how he might have thought he was being funny, and you guys need to work out your boundaries and communication about stuff like this way before you start thinking about having kids.
paleblue Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 you both wants kids but he doesn’t want to have kids with you? I would be hurt too. I don’t think you are over reacting. its these little things that people say that we should be paying attention too. the little red flags that we always want to brush aside now, only to have them come back and hurt us even worse down the road. I think that’s pretty serious in my opinion that he said that. I would say you would be over reacting if you were both talking about, say, French fries. but this is not French fries.
Joe Normal Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 What's the question again? He has just told you he isn't going to stay with you or have kids with you. When a guy tells you something, i suggest you listen.
Star Gazer Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 This is an example of when it's important to talk to your partner about why they did/said something. It could be totally innocuous. Ever hear parents arguing about something bad their kid did? Mom yells at dad, "YOUR SON just broke a window!" And of course, when he does well, she tells dad, "Do you know what my son did today? He got an A+ on his science project!" Could be something like that. Could be that he's just talking about the names HE likes. HE likes Victoria, in its full term. HIS daughter (like the "YOUR SON" above) will be called Victoria. Your daughter will be called Vicky. And guess what? They very well could be the same person. In any event, talk to him about it.
ConstantCraving Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Hey guys, im kind of fustrated and hurt right now by my boyfriends remark. We were talking on the phone and we ended up talking about having kids and the names we liked. He said he liked victoria so i was like yea me too and we can call her vicky for short. He's like no that's stupid its just victoria. Im like well we can call her both. (We were just joking around about this stuff cause we don't plan on having kids for a long time.) Then he's like she's not YOUR kid she's MY kid. And the way he said it was in a mean nasty tone. Like i was shocked because he has told me he wants us to have kids someday. As far as i knew i thought we were pretty serious considering he tells me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Buy a house and etc.. well my responce was so you don't want me to have your kids?? He's like NOPE. Still in that nasty cold tone. I was so hurt i didn't even know what to say. I just tried to play it off like i had to go. Im so hurt because i love him and i thought we were serious about each other?? I mean he's always told me he loves me wants a future with me this and that. But now this is kind of the opposite. Im SO HURT by this comment. I feel like if this is true if he seriously doesn't want to have kids with me then how could he even want a future with me.. What do you think of this?? Am i overeacting?? There are two questions here. 1. Does he want kids AT ALL in his future? 2. Does he think you have a bossy attitude? I honestly don't know if he wants to be a parent in the future. With you or with anyone else. But the answer to the second question is obvious. He thinks that if you are bossing him around over the names of hypothetical children who haven't even been concieved yet, that you are a real handful who needs telling off!
goingstrong Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Hey guys, im kind of fustrated and hurt right now by my boyfriends remark. We were talking on the phone and we ended up talking about having kids and the names we liked. He said he liked victoria so i was like yea me too and we can call her vicky for short. He's like no that's stupid its just victoria. Im like well we can call her both. (We were just joking around about this stuff cause we don't plan on having kids for a long time.) Then he's like she's not YOUR kid she's MY kid. And the way he said it was in a mean nasty tone. Like i was shocked because he has told me he wants us to have kids someday. As far as i knew i thought we were pretty serious considering he tells me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Buy a house and etc.. well my responce was so you don't want me to have your kids?? He's like NOPE. Still in that nasty cold tone. I was so hurt i didn't even know what to say. I just tried to play it off like i had to go. Im so hurt because i love him and i thought we were serious about each other?? I mean he's always told me he loves me wants a future with me this and that. But now this is kind of the opposite. Im SO HURT by this comment. I feel like if this is true if he seriously doesn't want to have kids with me then how could he even want a future with me.. What do you think of this?? Am i overeacting?? If you two are fighting over this, then neither one of you are mature enough to be parents yet.
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