sdarren40 Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Long story short...my live in boyfriend and I broke up after 4 years together...he said he wasn't ready to fully give himself to me (I suspect he is interested in another woman, although I have no solid proof) I was devastated and decided that I would move back home, hundreds of miles away from him. He begged me not to move so far away, but I have already made up my mind. I cannot stay if he doesn't want me. Well...I am all packed. I will be going home tonight. How do you find the strength to leave someone you love so very much. I am shaking so bad and the tears won't stop. I feel like I'm struggling to breathe...I knew leaving would be hard, but I did not expect it to feel like a heart attack.
lapse Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 oooh, sd. I broke up with my 4 yr bf a month ago and decided I would move out. I signed a lease a week ago and the reality thundered through my soul. I had the shakes and the tears, too. I moved over the weekend. To my surprise, it was not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. And the hard times came when he was around... doing things, to poke at me, no doubt. Sit with the discomfort for the rest of the day. You'll be ok. It will get better. And sooner than you think.
durkadurka Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Long story short...my live in boyfriend and I broke up after 4 years together...he said he wasn't ready to fully give himself to me (I suspect he is interested in another woman, although I have no solid proof) I was devastated and decided that I would move back home, hundreds of miles away from him. He begged me not to move so far away, but I have already made up my mind. I cannot stay if he doesn't want me. Well...I am all packed. I will be going home tonight. How do you find the strength to leave someone you love so very much. I am shaking so bad and the tears won't stop. I feel like I'm struggling to breathe...I knew leaving would be hard, but I did not expect it to feel like a heart attack. Hey there sweets, relax. I know it's a hard time for you. My ex recently did this to me, and moved hundreds of miles back home. It is what you make of it. Just remember that you are a great person and that is what matters.
shayan Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 I think you are doing the right thing. Just deal with the pain follow your intuition when you think someone is being unfaithful, follow your intuition. He left you, he broke up with you, follow your intuition.
Idalis Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Yeah hard situations like that can really take a toll on your body and physical well being. I'm sorry you are going through this but you are doing the right thing. Be strong, and try to find something that will allow you to relax a bit, like poems, music, writing. Whatever works for you. Sending positive thoughts your way
lapse Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Mindfulness meditation can be very comforting in times of panic. Even if you just do it for a minute, just until you calm down. Sit quietly, take a deep breath, really focus on breathing in and out, as thoughts come in, recognize them... that you had a thought ("how interesting") and let it go and refocus on your breathing. If you want to calm down, you will. Sometimes, though, I admit I have held onto pain... or turmoil... it was what I felt I needed at the time. But if you want to calm down, focus on doing just that.
Author sdarren40 Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 Thank you guys for all the advice and kind words...I'm trying to keep it together as best as I can. I know I'm doing the right thing, but it's still unbearably painful. He's my best friend and I am truly gutted at the thought of possibly never seeing him again...I cannot fathom that thought
miaowmiaow Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Long story short...my live in boyfriend and I broke up after 4 years together...he said he wasn't ready to fully give himself to me (I suspect he is interested in another woman, although I have no solid proof) I was devastated and decided that I would move back home, hundreds of miles away from him. He begged me not to move so far away, but I have already made up my mind. I cannot stay if he doesn't want me. Well...I am all packed. I will be going home tonight. How do you find the strength to leave someone you love so very much. I am shaking so bad and the tears won't stop. I feel like I'm struggling to breathe...I knew leaving would be hard, but I did not expect it to feel like a heart attack. I went through basically the same thing a month and a half ago. I was with him for almost 5 years , lived together, he was my bestfriend as well. He decided out of nowhere he didn't want to be with me "right now" , that he wanted to just be alone for awhile. I was confused and decided to pack up my things and move several states away to live with my mom because I couldn't handle the pain. He told me not to move and all that. I found out 2 weeks after breaking up with me he is officially in a relationship with another girl, that he works with. It hurt so bad, I don't know how someone can spend so long with someone telling them that they love you and to just throwing that all away just like that. I still am going through several different emotions but it's getting better. He texts me telling me that he wants me to move back, that he misses me and that i'm his bestfriend, which confuses me even more because he's still with that girl. I don't know, it's all really hard still, I miss him deeply and wish we were still together. I hope it'll get easier for you, but i'm here if you want to talk, we can help eachother through this hard time. Take care!
Author sdarren40 Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 miaow- I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's hard to understand why someone who you thought loved you could just end it. I have a feeling that my ex broke up with me because he wants to be with someone else. I think that's the most painful thing about this...if he truly just wanted space and time to himself, then I think I could understand. But if there is someone else involved, I think I would fall apart. I hope you're doing better...I think you did the right thing by moving away. I hope we can get through this.
Breinfl Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Wow I know how u feel. I will be moving first week of Nov. and it's killing me. The packing and still living together till we finally move out is overwhelming. Hope we get past this.
Breinfl Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 I went through basically the same thing a month and a half ago. I was with him for almost 5 years , lived together, he was my bestfriend as well. He decided out of nowhere he didn't want to be with me "right now" , that he wanted to just be alone for awhile. I was confused and decided to pack up my things and move several states away to live with my mom because I couldn't handle the pain. He told me not to move and all that. I found out 2 weeks after breaking up with me he is officially in a relationship with another girl, that he works with. It hurt so bad, I don't know how someone can spend so long with someone telling them that they love you and to just throwing that all away just like that. I still am going through several different emotions but it's getting better. He texts me telling me that he wants me to move back, that he misses me and that i'm his bestfriend, which confuses me even more because he's still with that girl. I don't know, it's all really hard still, I miss him deeply and wish we were still together. I hope it'll get easier for you, but i'm here if you want to talk, we can help eachother through this hard time. Take care! Wow for me was 4 years. I don't know if there is someone else but do know that he still has feeling for his ex which ended 4 years ago...
Mimolicious Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 How do you do it? Think about sitting shaking in tears 15yrs later, making a few bottles for the road for yout toddler, asking for school trans papers for your oldest one, and putting a huge "for sale" sign on your home because divorce docs say "divide assets". Which one you think is easier to move on from?
paleblue Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 sorry sdarren. it sucks sooo bad feelin like that. know one thing, you are better off moving back home and away from it all if he doesn’t want you. good decision. if you stay it would be like having a wound that doesn’t heal. ya, it is devastating. and it is painful. and it will make you sick to your stomach. but we get thru it. and so will you.
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