love_confusion Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Well, I decided to ask a guy out...for the first time ever. We have some mutual friends and have been talking to one another for about a month or so. He seemed interested and initiates a lot of our conversation. However, he never really hinted at going out. I kind of like him and would like to get to know him better. So, I decided to go for it and ask him out. Now, I wish I didn't. He did say yes, but followed that yes up with..."as friends." I actually wasn't looking for anything more than starting out as friends, but the fact he added that as part of his reply makes me think he's not really interested. So, I'm not really sure if I should respond and set something up, or just wait to see if he makes plans? Or should I just forget about it and move on? Any advice?
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 That's him giving you the gentle brush off. The truth is, you don't want to be friends in the same way that he means it. You want him as your boyfriend, eventually. Please don't be put off asking other guys. Rejection is a big part of dating and must be experienced by everyone at some stage. I got the "can we be friends" line only this morning!! It doesn't bother me at all. Time to move on to the next girl (or guy in your case).
flying Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Agree - he's letting you down gently. Sorry. That said - good for you for having the courage to ask him out. That's something I am more aware of after reading these boards - how tough that can be for guys. I think that if more women geared up for it and learned to deal with the rejection, it would be a good thing. So, brava.
D-Jam Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Well, I decided to ask a guy out...for the first time ever. We have some mutual friends and have been talking to one another for about a month or so. He seemed interested and initiates a lot of our conversation. However, he never really hinted at going out. I kind of like him and would like to get to know him better. So, I decided to go for it and ask him out. Now, I wish I didn't. He did say yes, but followed that yes up with..."as friends." I actually wasn't looking for anything more than starting out as friends, but the fact he added that as part of his reply makes me think he's not really interested. So, I'm not really sure if I should respond and set something up, or just wait to see if he makes plans? Or should I just forget about it and move on? Any advice? First of all...kudos to you for taking initiative. I'll never knock a woman who tries over those who never do anything and believe the man should shoulder 100% of the risk. I'd probably tell you to see if this ends up in a date, then go from there. We men get just as cautious as you women. I know when I met my GF, she thought I wasn't interested in her, but I was simply being restrained and not wanting to dive in too quickly...mainly learning from past mistakes.
angielove Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Snaps for confidence babe! I have wanted to ask out soooo many guys, but never had the balls to go through with it Hmmm... to be honest, the 'as friends' comment kinda sums up how he feels I think. If he wanted to be something more, he wouldn't have said that. Sorry Out of those three options of what to do now: - Definitely do not wait for him to set something up. It won't happen because you are the one who asked him out. - If you really are fine with being 'just friends' and are willing to have your heart broken (because he does not sound very tactful) then go for it. Call him up and set up the date. - In my opinion, you should go for option 3: forget about it. Don't you want a guy who wants you?! But hey, I don't know anything about the situation. So, as with everything in life, you should probably just do whatever the heck you feel like doing. xxx
princefox3 Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 I was once so surprised when a guy asked me out that I accidentally laughed. I mean, he went about it the wrong way in several ways, but still. Laughter is not the appropriate way to let a guy down.
Author love_confusion Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 Thanks for the feedback, everyone! I'm glad that I asked a guy out, too. I thought about doing it for about 2 weeks and finally just went for it. At least I won't be so hesitant about doing it in future situations. As for the guy...I'm not pursuing things with him. I just found out from a friend that he asked another girl out and they have gone on a few dates. So, maybe that's why he responded the way he did. In any event, if he wants to follow up with me fine, but I'm taking his first response as a no. I'll have to see if he asks me back out in a few weeks if things with the girl he's currently dating don't work out. Oh well...at least I gave it a shot!
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Oh well...at least I gave it a shot! You're my hero(ine). Just think of all the women out there who lack the nerve to ask guys out. Think of it as having an advantage over them. Rejection sucks but it's inevitable in the dating world. I recently got rejected by someone after having been on two dates. Pretty galling, but it merely energised me into wanting to find someone else.
Author love_confusion Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 You're my hero(ine). Just think of all the women out there who lack the nerve to ask guys out. Think of it as having an advantage over them. Rejection sucks but it's inevitable in the dating world. I recently got rejected by someone after having been on two dates. Pretty galling, but it merely energised me into wanting to find someone else. Thanks! Rejection definitely sucks, but it's okay. I think rejection hurts the most when you're really truly invested in someone. If it's just asking someone on a date, then it does sting for a little bit, but that feeling passes pretty quickly.
Mellisa Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Thanks! Rejection definitely sucks, but it's okay. I think rejection hurts the most when you're really truly invested in someone. If it's just asking someone on a date, then it does sting for a little bit, but that feeling passes pretty quickly. He made it easy for you.The worse could be him going out to lead you on and you have to realize few dates later he's not that interested...It happens a lot with guys.You should appreicate him being honest and upfront
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