lonestar190 Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Be wary of any guy who refers to all his exes as 'pychos'. The exes generally aren't the problem.
dispatch3d Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 You're right. You're absolutely right. I guess he makes me insecure about myself, and I've never been insecure with a guy because i'm so used to being complimented or appreciated. I don't feel that with him so I feel like I need to refrain from doing certain things to stay in his "good" books. I wonder why, I've never done that before. haha I've never heard someone blame insecurity on someone else but it's kinda funny to read. He makes me insecure. haha uhh Noone makes you insecure. Having high self esteem or being secure with who you are, are both things that YOU do on your own that have to be completely independant of other people. I agree with the earlier poster. The problem isn't him its you. Stop being so needy. You listed the three ways you are. Just because he's dating you doesn't mean he can't talk to other girls anymore (this would be an unreasonable expectation).
Sabali Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 He doesn't make me feel anxious, he just doesn't reaffirm his affections for me, and i'm not used to that. He is a wonderful guy, i'm not going to throw him away because he perhaps shows his emotions differently....if thats even the case. That's what i'm trying to figure out. Is this just how he behaves? Or has he genuinely lost interest or doesn't care? This is the same guy who a few weeks ago woke up from a nap, went outside from a walk and ignored your friend while asking "are you coming or what?" This is the same guy right? His behavior is consistent with his previous behavior. He is about to become just how you like em, Hopeful... controlling with a ***k-em-all attitude. What you probably won't admit is that you are teaching him that the way he behaves is with you is okay and that he is well on his way to controlling you. I expect an update on how he is isolating you from your family and friends soon. Don't disappoint me!
Author Hopeful30 Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 His behavior is consistent with his previous behavior. He is about to become just how you like em, Hopeful... controlling with a ***k-em-all attitude. What you probably won't admit is that you are teaching him that the way he behaves is with you is okay and that he is well on his way to controlling you. I expect an update on how he is isolating you from your family and friends soon. Don't disappoint me! That's such an a**hole thing to say, but I hate to admit that you are right. So what do you suggest I do?
Sabali Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 That's such an a**hole thing to say, but I hate to admit that you are right. So what do you suggest I do? Unfortunately, the right but blunt thing to say is the @$$hole thing to say. I guess I am an @$$hole for life. I could stroke your ego and tell you how you can do so much better and throw in the hackneyed low self-esteem crap but then I would be someone else and you don't listen to anyone else but @$$holes such as me. Here is what you do: Go on and continue with your relationship as usual. The next time he disrespects say nothing and walk off. He will come after you one way or another. When he asks you what is wrong you tell him. Tell him that you are tired of his disrespectful attitude and behavior and that you are not putting up with it anymore. Let him sweat a bit. You have to "recalibrate" him. He will respect you for taking a stance as long as you don't show weakness while he is thinking things over or kissing your @$$. Trust me. Once he agrees to behave more respectful continue to treat him well. The moment he disrespects you again, do the same thing you did before. Say nothing and walk off. After some time has passed between his $#itty behaviors, you can react differently but you have to handle things this way initially to get him on a different track.
Author Hopeful30 Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 Go on and continue with your relationship as usual. The next time he disrespects say nothing and walk off. He will come after you one way or another. When he asks you what is wrong you tell him. Tell him that you are tired of his disrespectful attitude and behavior and that you are not putting up with it anymore. Let him sweat a bit. You have to "recalibrate" him. He will respect you for taking a stance as long as you don't show weakness while he is thinking things over or kissing your @$$. Trust me. Once he agrees to behave more respectful continue to treat him well. The moment he disrespects you again, do the same thing you did before. Say nothing and walk off. After some time has passed between his $#itty behaviors, you can react differently but you have to handle things this way initially to get him on a different track. Thank you.
Sabali Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Thank you. Don't mention it. This point can't be emphasized enough: Do not get in a shouting match with him while you are doing this. It will accomplish nothing and work against you. It is important that whenever he raises his voice, start shouting or acting like a kid that you say nothing, turn around and just start walking off. Once he lowers his voice and start talking to you in a respectful tone, you reward him by stopping and listening to him. Watch the magic unfold...
Mellisa Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 I think you are being a little too sensitive.If he actually brings himself to acknowledge that you are together and that you are a couple,he might indeed thinks so.No one is fully capable of loving us exactly the way we want them to.We all have our own little faults relationship wise.You probably should be less sensitive and insecure where him more sensitive and considerate.It takes works and communication.After all, you've only been together for a month.
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