2themoon&back Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 And if you did what do you feel? Was the MM/MW happy to hear from you? or were they upset with you? Did you regret that decision? Did you resume A, were things different so you could start a R or did nothing happen? Did MM/MW contact you? If so, did you feel anything or nothing? How long before NC was broken, days, weeks, months or years? Just wondering what happens, because I read on LS all the time how one or the other person breaks NC, and I know this may happen, I have even wanted to break it myself at times, but have not acted on it and I have to wonder how I will react. So thought this is a place to learn from what others have been through.
siuys Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 The longest NC for me was about 2.5 weeks I think. Sometimes I would be the one to break it, other times MM. Usually we are both happy to hear from the other person, and would immediately meet up. He has been separated for 6 months so it has been a bit of a R, less of an A I guess though it's still a secret so maybe I should stop kidding myself and say it is an A. I guess every situation is different. I know for a fact that if MM decides he doesn't want to be with me, or goes back to his W, I will keep NC and forget about him for good. But it hasn't been this way. I don't know where things will go with him but time will tell I guess. We are in a sort of weird situation. We're doing the meet once every two weeks thing with NC between meeting up. It's because he is still sorting out his stuff and I don't want to be dragged down my his instability - a little is fine, but not all the time.
UntoldStory Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 In my case, it's been a mix of why NC has been broken. Sometimes him, sometimes me, but I can say with certainty each time was because one of us wanted to make sure the other was still there, and not necessarily because anything had changed with the situation. I'm not saying that's right or wrong - it is what it is. But I don't regret the way it's happened, looking back. Mine was one of those situations where we ended it because neither of us wanted to be in an A, not because we felt any less strongly about the other. Yes, we were always happy to hear from each other, but the problem is, that dose of happiness just prolongs the pain of healing that has to happen during NC. Also, the NC was always because of overwhelming conflicting feelings about the A, so the happiness of hearing from the AP was quickly blotted out by the reminder of the conflict. In other words, it's a very short-term fix for the longing that you're feeling. For what it's worth, I've found that IC has been worth its weight in gold in helping me make the right decisions for myself in terms of how much to contact him or whether to do it at all. It's made all the difference for me in transforming those horrible feelings of desperate longing for xMM into simpler, easier-to-deal-with feelings of loss, which do eventually heal with time.
Circular Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 In my case, it's been a mix of why NC has been broken. Sometimes him, sometimes me, but I can say with certainty each time was because one of us wanted to make sure the other was still there, and not necessarily because anything had changed with the situation. I'm not saying that's right or wrong - it is what it is. But I don't regret the way it's happened, looking back. Mine was one of those situations where we ended it because neither of us wanted to be in an A, not because we felt any less strongly about the other. Yes, we were always happy to hear from each other, but the problem is, that dose of happiness just prolongs the pain of healing that has to happen during NC. Also, the NC was always because of overwhelming conflicting feelings about the A, so the happiness of hearing from the AP was quickly blotted out by the reminder of the conflict. In other words, it's a very short-term fix for the longing that you're feeling. For what it's worth, I've found that IC has been worth its weight in gold in helping me make the right decisions for myself in terms of how much to contact him or whether to do it at all. It's made all the difference for me in transforming those horrible feelings of desperate longing for xMM into simpler, easier-to-deal-with feelings of loss, which do eventually heal with time. What I've found interesting about when NC breaks is that for the first 24 hours I seem to be 'ok' and have the mindset of 'its nothing' but then, for some reason, it creeps up on me and suddenly I have that feeling of 'when is she going to contact me again' and the feelings of missing that person come back and then for a few days it's like I'm back in it, even if it was one simple email. So strange.
UntoldStory Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 What I've found interesting about when NC breaks is that for the first 24 hours I seem to be 'ok' and have the mindset of 'its nothing' but then, for some reason, it creeps up on me and suddenly I have that feeling of 'when is she going to contact me again' and the feelings of missing that person come back and then for a few days it's like I'm back in it, even if it was one simple email. So strange. It's interesting to have your take on it, C - I wondered if it was just a female thing (that rebound of the longing after the break of NC) but apparently it's non-gender-specific!
jj33 Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Very unsatisfying because in the end, nothing has changed... so there is the anticipation, the rush and the letdown. Very similar to the end of the A. (the letdown)
Patrice Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 The worst is the let down after you let them back into your head. Then you go NC, only to have them try and get back in. You get stronger, you realize nothing will change, you realize you have more value and you move on. Then they try again. I've gone NC after telling him there is absolutely no way I would put myself through that again, that I am worth more than that. Then the anger ... oh well.
silverplanets Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 And if you did what do you feel? Was the MM/MW happy to hear from you? or were they upset with you? Did you regret that decision? Did you resume A, were things different so you could start a R or did nothing happen? Did MM/MW contact you? If so, did you feel anything or nothing? How long before NC was broken, days, weeks, months or years? Just wondering what happens, because I read on LS all the time how one or the other person breaks NC, and I know this may happen, I have even wanted to break it myself at times, but have not acted on it and I have to wonder how I will react. So thought this is a place to learn from what others have been through. Yep - that's a good question ... Need to be a little careful with the detail here, but, basically: a) I went NC completely, fully and utterly, 12 months after the A started when I discovered that rather than selling their house as part of separation they had actually sold it and brought a new one together ... I quit my job and moved to a different part of the country ... not long after that I left the country all together ... b) it was about 6-7 years later that I contacted her (she had tried repeatedly to get messages to me through friends but I wouldn't take them) ... this was in August and she said (voluntarily) that she was in pthe process of leaving him for good and that choosing him previously had been the biggest mistake of her life (blah, blah) c) When she was still there after Christmas that year I just went unilaterally NC ... accepted the whole thing in good spirit (I hadn't commited anything to her as I wanted proof this time) ... and moved on with my life d) 8 months later she re-appeared in my country, found me and told me she had split and was over looking for a property ... two days later I found out she was actually there on a family holiday with H n the kids (ie she'd brought them all on holiday to my country so she could pull her stunt) ... Unfortunately (and this was my mistake) at this time I fell for her sob story and so began 5 year or so "dance" between two countries ... during which time she never left .... e) Eventually I moved back with my little one, with her commiting to be there for us, and a whole new series of excuses started to appear ... So then I went NC for good .. and that has continued to this date (1 year +) and I have concentrated on being happy with me. A *stunning* moment of insight came for me at point e) when she actually told her H she wanted a divorce. I met her at an airport the day after and it was physically obvious that she *had* told him .. (you know how pale and shaken people are when they really have done something) ... But how shaken she was exposed how much of a lie all her talk of leaving him and separation previously had been ... he had *no clue* and this was the *first time* it had been brought up ... which meant that everything she assured me about him being aware of it and it being "in progress" was a lie. it also, of couse, meant that he now wanted to go to counselling etc as she wasn't telling him *why* ... so she was only at the start of the process, whereas she had sworn to me she was at the end. These two things were the final proof that I had been constantly lied to about this "in process" separation ... It's kind of ironic that what exposed the depth of the lies was seeing her physical condition when she'd actually taken a mini-step and done something. But it was too little, too late and how could I trust someone who was happy to lie to me and for me to move me and my child on the basis of those lies. Anyhow, that long winded splurge is my experience of breaking NC and giving someone a second (and third) chance. One has to laugh with the universe that, given a second chance, she behaved practically identically to the first time ... Full marks for consistency though :-) As an absolute and comlplete aside though, giving her a second chance was something I *had* to do because of some completely unrelated business which haunted me from my childhood. And in doing so and having it go completely wrong it helped me with re-opening that old wound and, eventually, coming to peace with it. So, in a very real way, breaking NC and giving a second chance (which then went pear shaped) was the key to me getting the key to me ... They say our relationships show us where we need to look in ourselves ... and this was certainly true for me with this. The silly thing was that i am pretty sure I was getting to looking there anyway just prior to meeting her for the first time ... and so all I really did was end up going inside to find peace a lot later, rather than earlier. I have found my peace .. and I would be pleased to learn in many years that she found hers ... but I honestly think she will carry on creating a lot more drama before she is ready to consider that the answer is within and not without. Summing up in terms of OP: breaking NC and giving second chances ...only proved things hadn't changed. hope this makes some kind of sense !!! Chris
Silly_Girl Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Yep - that's a good question ... Need to be a little careful with the detail here, but, basically: a) I went NC completely, fully and utterly, 12 months after the A started when I discovered that rather than selling their house as part of separation they had actually sold it and brought a new one together ... I quit my job and moved to a different part of the country ... not long after that I left the country all together ... b) it was about 6-7 years later that I contacted her (she had tried repeatedly to get messages to me through friends but I wouldn't take them) ... this was in August and she said (voluntarily) that she was in pthe process of leaving him for good and that choosing him previously had been the biggest mistake of her life (blah, blah) c) When she was still there after Christmas that year I just went unilaterally NC ... accepted the whole thing in good spirit (I hadn't commited anything to her as I wanted proof this time) ... and moved on with my life d) 8 months later she re-appeared in my country, found me and told me she had split and was over looking for a property ... two days later I found out she was actually there on a family holiday with H n the kids (ie she'd brought them all on holiday to my country so she could pull her stunt) ... Unfortunately (and this was my mistake) at this time I fell for her sob story and so began 5 year or so "dance" between two countries ... during which time she never left .... e) Eventually I moved back with my little one, with her commiting to be there for us, and a whole new series of excuses started to appear ... So then I went NC for good .. and that has continued to this date (1 year +) and I have concentrated on being happy with me. A *stunning* moment of insight came for me at point e) when she actually told her H she wanted a divorce. I met her at an airport the day after and it was physically obvious that she *had* told him .. (you know how pale and shaken people are when they really have done something) ... But how shaken she was exposed how much of a lie all her talk of leaving him and separation previously had been ... he had *no clue* and this was the *first time* it had been brought up ... which meant that everything she assured me about him being aware of it and it being "in progress" was a lie. it also, of couse, meant that he now wanted to go to counselling etc as she wasn't telling him *why* ... so she was only at the start of the process, whereas she had sworn to me she was at the end. These two things were the final proof that I had been constantly lied to about this "in process" separation ... It's kind of ironic that what exposed the depth of the lies was seeing her physical condition when she'd actually taken a mini-step and done something. But it was too little, too late and how could I trust someone who was happy to lie to me and for me to move me and my child on the basis of those lies. Anyhow, that long winded splurge is my experience of breaking NC and giving someone a second (and third) chance. One has to laugh with the universe that, given a second chance, she behaved practically identically to the first time ... Full marks for consistency though :-) As an absolute and comlplete aside though, giving her a second chance was something I *had* to do because of some completely unrelated business which haunted me from my childhood. And in doing so and having it go completely wrong it helped me with re-opening that old wound and, eventually, coming to peace with it. So, in a very real way, breaking NC and giving a second chance (which then went pear shaped) was the key to me getting the key to me ... They say our relationships show us where we need to look in ourselves ... and this was certainly true for me with this. The silly thing was that i am pretty sure I was getting to looking there anyway just prior to meeting her for the first time ... and so all I really did was end up going inside to find peace a lot later, rather than earlier. I have found my peace .. and I would be pleased to learn in many years that she found hers ... but I honestly think she will carry on creating a lot more drama before she is ready to consider that the answer is within and not without. Summing up in terms of OP: breaking NC and giving second chances ...only proved things hadn't changed. hope this makes some kind of sense !!! Chris Chris, I've read various aspects relating to your experiences. But never as clear as this, in order and as stark. You've been through a phenomenal journey. I have never doubted the sincerity or insightfulness of your posts (you are my favourite poster) but what this helped me see is exactly how come you have those qualities. I can't really say anything valuable but just wanted you to know that I found your post really moving and I'm grateful you shared it.
silverplanets Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Chris, I've read various aspects relating to your experiences. But never as clear as this, in order and as stark. You've been through a phenomenal journey. I have never doubted the sincerity or insightfulness of your posts (you are my favourite poster) but what this helped me see is exactly how come you have those qualities. I can't really say anything valuable but just wanted you to know that I found your post really moving and I'm grateful you shared it. Thanks SG It was a bit of a "splurge" post but I kinda felt it was relevant to the original question of breaking NC ... and hopefully it might also open people's eyes to how long these things can "go on" for if one is not careful ! I think one of the hardest things is breaking the cycle of "i've invested x amount of time, so I'll just give it y more" ... I know I got stuck in that one towards the end ... You have to also at least "consider" the opposite side of saying it .. ie I've lost x amount of my life on this, why should I lose y more" Not saying one is right or one is wrong .. but (and with reference to breaking NC and the OP) .. one deserves it to one self to look at it from both sides and come to one's one weighting on it ... be safe Chris
East7 Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 You have to also at least "consider" the opposite side of saying it .. ie I've lost x amount of my life on this, why should I lose y more" be safe Chris I totally agree with this statement. Great post Chris, thanks for sharing your experience. Staying in an A is also 'giving time and waiting' so if NC is also meant to be 'waiting' it doesn't make sense.
Author 2themoon&back Posted October 29, 2010 Author Posted October 29, 2010 sIuys, thank you for your post, I have read your story and I am glad that you are doing what you can to protect yourself in your situation. I find that to be the hardest thing to do in most R’s , especially an A, because they seem so unpredictable and you never know when taken care of your self will cost you in some way but not taken care of you surely will. So again congratulations to you for being able to see the need to have an out for yourself and keeping things at a safe pace. I hope things continue to go well for you as they seem to be now.
Author 2themoon&back Posted October 29, 2010 Author Posted October 29, 2010 In my case, it's been a mix of why NC has been broken. Sometimes him, sometimes me, but I can say with certainty each time was because one of us wanted to make sure the other was still there, and not necessarily because anything had changed with the situation. I'm not saying that's right or wrong - it is what it is. But I don't regret the way it's happened, looking back. Mine was one of those situations where we ended it because neither of us wanted to be in an A, not because we felt any less strongly about the other. Yes, we were always happy to hear from each other, but the problem is, that dose of happiness just prolongs the pain of healing that has to happen during NC. Also, the NC was always because of overwhelming conflicting feelings about the A, so the happiness of hearing from the AP was quickly blotted out by the reminder of the conflict. In other words, it's a very short-term fix for the longing that you're feeling. For what it's worth, I've found that IC has been worth its weight in gold in helping me make the right decisions for myself in terms of how much to contact him or whether to do it at all. It's made all the difference for me in transforming those horrible feelings of desperate longing for xMM into simpler, easier-to-deal-with feelings of loss, which do eventually heal with time. I appreciate your insight to NC. I have never broken NC before, I am scared to, he on the other hand broke it all the time and that he has not this time hurts. I took it as this time it is really over and I was not ready for it to be over, so to say the least I have struggled with NC. As someone else said, I have not had a good understanding of NC, I just kind of found myself there and thought I was just supposed to wait there…not really using that time to heal or find myself or anything like that, just wait for him to contact me. I have learned different and am just now coming to understand this. I still would like to contact him, but I just don’t have the guts to. So I will go with my new knowledge and work on me being ok with where I am. I too am in IC, and I know it has been very helpful, I feel sure I would have made more foolish decisions without it. Thank you for your openess
Author 2themoon&back Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 Yep - that's a good question ... Need to be a little careful with the detail here, but, basically: a) I went NC completely, fully and utterly, 12 months after the A started when I discovered that rather than selling their house as part of separation they had actually sold it and brought a new one together ... I quit my job and moved to a different part of the country ... not long after that I left the country all together ... b) it was about 6-7 years later that I contacted her (she had tried repeatedly to get messages to me through friends but I wouldn't take them) ... this was in August and she said (voluntarily) that she was in pthe process of leaving him for good and that choosing him previously had been the biggest mistake of her life (blah, blah) c) When she was still there after Christmas that year I just went unilaterally NC ... accepted the whole thing in good spirit (I hadn't commited anything to her as I wanted proof this time) ... and moved on with my life d) 8 months later she re-appeared in my country, found me and told me she had split and was over looking for a property ... two days later I found out she was actually there on a family holiday with H n the kids (ie she'd brought them all on holiday to my country so she could pull her stunt) ... Unfortunately (and this was my mistake) at this time I fell for her sob story and so began 5 year or so "dance" between two countries ... during which time she never left .... e) Eventually I moved back with my little one, with her commiting to be there for us, and a whole new series of excuses started to appear ... So then I went NC for good .. and that has continued to this date (1 year +) and I have concentrated on being happy with me. A *stunning* moment of insight came for me at point e) when she actually told her H she wanted a divorce. I met her at an airport the day after and it was physically obvious that she *had* told him .. (you know how pale and shaken people are when they really have done something) ... But how shaken she was exposed how much of a lie all her talk of leaving him and separation previously had been ... he had *no clue* and this was the *first time* it had been brought up ... which meant that everything she assured me about him being aware of it and it being "in progress" was a lie. it also, of couse, meant that he now wanted to go to counselling etc as she wasn't telling him *why* ... so she was only at the start of the process, whereas she had sworn to me she was at the end. These two things were the final proof that I had been constantly lied to about this "in process" separation ... It's kind of ironic that what exposed the depth of the lies was seeing her physical condition when she'd actually taken a mini-step and done something. But it was too little, too late and how could I trust someone who was happy to lie to me and for me to move me and my child on the basis of those lies. Anyhow, that long winded splurge is my experience of breaking NC and giving someone a second (and third) chance. One has to laugh with the universe that, given a second chance, she behaved practically identically to the first time ... Full marks for consistency though :-) As an absolute and comlplete aside though, giving her a second chance was something I *had* to do because of some completely unrelated business which haunted me from my childhood. And in doing so and having it go completely wrong it helped me with re-opening that old wound and, eventually, coming to peace with it. So, in a very real way, breaking NC and giving a second chance (which then went pear shaped) was the key to me getting the key to me ... They say our relationships show us where we need to look in ourselves ... and this was certainly true for me with this. The silly thing was that i am pretty sure I was getting to looking there anyway just prior to meeting her for the first time ... and so all I really did was end up going inside to find peace a lot later, rather than earlier. I have found my peace .. and I would be pleased to learn in many years that she found hers ... but I honestly think she will carry on creating a lot more drama before she is ready to consider that the answer is within and not without. Summing up in terms of OP: breaking NC and giving second chances ...only proved things hadn't changed. hope this makes some kind of sense !!! Chris silverplanets, what can I say... Thank you for sharing. Your honesty and your experience are very touching and full of insight. I can see where NC, is like re-wounding oneself at the same time it seems to serve as a fuel to re-build oneself. I am sure there are less complicated and less painful ways to rebuild one’s life but A’s seem to me to be very complex, much more than a person who may have never experienced an A would think. This was my very first and hopefully the last A I will ever be involved in. I say hopefully because I cannot say I will never do that again, because I never thought I would be involved in an A in the first place. Your information has been helpful though I am sorry you had to experience such great heartache to get it. Your willingness to be open the way you have makes perfect sense, something you should never doubt. You also made me realize there is no time frame on this, it can be 6 weeks to 6 years and boom there it is and you have to start NC, again. I think the main thing I get from your post is to take time to consider my agenda before I consider breaking NC. Do I just want to hear his voice or do I want to resume A, or do I need some sort of closure to things, because I get that if you do not really know why you are breaking NC, it could take a course you may not be ready to go in. I find this to be the most important information! Thank you again!!
jj33 Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 2 the moon one thing I would say about getting closure is that there is normally not any to be had. The only way that breaking NC helps closure is the way in which you react to the contact. Wanting to go back to the A is the best reason to break NC. And from your posts I assume that is not what you want. Merely wanting to hear his voice is a terrible reason to break NC because it reopens things. Sometimes the little dramas that go along with breaking NC inadvertently help you process your feelings and reinforce the fact that the A is over (again assuming that you want it to be over). But its a painful way to go.
Author 2themoon&back Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 2 the moon one thing I would say about getting closure is that there is normally not any to be had. The only way that breaking NC helps closure is the way in which you react to the contact. Wanting to go back to the A is the best reason to break NC. And from your posts I assume that is not what you want. Merely wanting to hear his voice is a terrible reason to break NC because it reopens things. Sometimes the little dramas that go along with breaking NC inadvertently help you process your feelings and reinforce the fact that the A is over (again assuming that you want it to be over). But its a painful way to go. I do appreciate your input, although I was using those examples, as general examples, not as my intentions. I was saying one must know their own agenda to break NC and put some thought into before they act on it. As for me, I do not know what I will do in my situation, as of yet.
jthorne Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 (edited) Chris, I think your situation paralled mine to an extent, especially breaking NC and giving second and third chances. But most of all, this: The silly thing was that i am pretty sure I was getting to looking there anyway just prior to meeting her for the first time ... and so all I really did was end up going inside to find peace a lot later, rather than earlier.In my case, I think the A not just stopped the progress, it sent it sliding backwards. For several years! So what I thought might be so instrumental in my healing (the R with MM) was actually a huge detriment. I always worry about that when I hear of OW who say the A is healing for them. Edited October 31, 2010 by jthorne
MorningCoffee Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 (edited) I would say that each of us initiated and broke NC for different reasons at different times. The first was following D-Day, and was her (ex-AP/MW) choice at the request of BH. She broke it a couple times within the first month, and each time hurt so much that then I demanded NC unless it was to tell me of their divorce. That NC lasted five months. Then I was the one to break it because I had healed a lot but still hung on to the "what if's" and the "if only's" and wanted to hear from her where things really stood -- was she really reconciling or not? Here I had excellent guidance from my IC counselor to know what I wanted and to set my boundaries in my own mind before contact, because of the unpredictability of her response. What I learned was nothing had changed. So of course that revived my hopes. In the past three months, we have spoken about twice a month. And I have learned more, again to my surprise, about her and now feel I know that the "what if's" and "if only's" could never happen. Not because she might not eventually be free of her M, but because at her core, she and I are not compatible for a LTR. If we'd been having a normal R instead of an affair, these differences would eventually have come to light, but the dynamic of an A kept them from surfacing before D-Day, so if I had not broken NC, I might have gone on indefinitely pining away for what might have been. Now, I am not. Ironic? Yes. But very useful to my healing. So my conclusion is NC is a valuable tool for healing, and yet sometimes breaking NC can be valuable, also. I have not yet said NC forever, I never want to hear from you again, but I feel I am moving in that direction. It takes more time than I thought (as Chris's amazing post demonstrates!), but in time, it will be what it is supposed to be -- over and done. Edited October 31, 2010 by MorningCoffee
Author 2themoon&back Posted October 31, 2010 Author Posted October 31, 2010 I would say that each of us initiated and broke NC for different reasons at different times. The first was following D-Day, and was her (ex-AP/MW) choice at the request of BH. She broke it a couple times within the first month, and each time hurt so much that then I demanded NC unless it was to tell me of their divorce. That NC lasted five months. Then I was the one to break it because I had healed a lot but still hung on to the "what if's" and the "if only's" and wanted to hear from her where things really stood -- was she really reconciling or not? Here I had excellent guidance from my IC counselor to know what I wanted and to set my boundaries in my own mind before contact, because of the unpredictability of her response. What I learned was nothing had changed. So of course that revived my hopes. In the past three months, we have spoken about twice a month. And I have learned more, again to my surprise, about her and now feel I know that the "what if's" and "if only's" could never happen. Not because she might not eventually be free of her M, but because at her core, she and I are not compatible for a LTR. If we'd been having a normal R instead of an affair, these differences would eventually have come to light, but the dynamic of an A kept them from surfacing before D-Day, so if I had not broken NC, I might have gone on indefinitely pining away for what might have been. Now, I am not. Ironic? Yes. But very useful to my healing. So my conclusion is NC is a valuable tool for healing, and yet sometimes breaking NC can be valuable, also. I have not yet said NC forever, I never want to hear from you again, but I feel I am moving in that direction. It takes more time than I thought (as Chris's amazing post demonstrates!), but in time, it will be what it is supposed to be -- over and done. I must say I feel privileged to have some GREAT posters here...You included. I really like the way you express your thoughts. I cannot say enough about how thankful I am for everyone being so willing to share their experiences as well as insight; I hope this thread is viewed due to this fact. There is a lot of valuable information here that should be wide spread.
MorningCoffee Posted October 31, 2010 Posted October 31, 2010 I must say I feel privileged to have some GREAT posters here...You included. I really like the way you express your thoughts. I cannot say enough about how thankful I am for everyone being so willing to share their experiences as well as insight; I hope this thread is viewed due to this fact. There is a lot of valuable information here that should be wide spread. Thanks for the kind words. LS has proven to be just as helpful to my understanding and recovery from my painful experience as IC (and a heck of a lot less $$$ ). I owe so much of what I have learned to others here at LS, and this thread is a great example, that I am glad whenever I can add to the discussion, in the hopes what helps me helps others as well.
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