Author brainygirl Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 Hi there, I appreciate you taking the time to call me out in this thread, although totally unnecessary. If you read a part of this thread she specifically asked for my opinion, and I gave it. I have also responded to men here as well. Unlike you I do not coddle people or walk around on my tippy toes or believe in being PC. I march to the beat of my own drum and I was far from rude. Im not bitter at all and far from lonely, that seems to be a pejorative some like to throw around here frequently. I am unmarried and live alone. I do what I want when I want as much as I want with whom I want. I have a successful career I enjoy and travel around. What could I possibly have to be bitter about? Its great!! Brainy is a big girl and I am sure she can handle constructive criticism from all angles without her delicate sensibilities being wavered. So for future reference cj if you are that fragile and easlily insulted, ignore me Pardon the interruption. Carry on. I think she may have been mistaking you for stevec8o. I didn't think you were way out of line, and I respect the balanced answers you gave here. I do wonder why I should have to list "what I have to offer" when none of the other posters here seem to have been asked this.
Author brainygirl Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 I hear you on the tanning. I'm white as snow and sometimes I think I'm the only living female who hasn't ever been inside a tanning booth. How do you feel about yourself in general? it seems like you have a positive view of yourself which is important. But it seems you feel unattractive. The hairstylist in me can't control herself and begs to ask; have you considered changing something about the way you look? A new haircut or colour or both, done by a professional? Something that would complement your skintone and eye colour? All while bearing in mind that this is NOT aimed at finding and pleasing men, but aimed at helping you see yourself in a new light and give you a bit of a spring to your step. I had a client the other day who had never had a professional cut or colour in her life (!!!) and she basically said "do whatever you want." When she left she practically hopped, skipped, and jumped to her car. Enjoy your break from dating and focusing on your children and work, but take some time to focus on yourself, too. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I HATE having my hair done. I like having it a little past my shoulders and I LIKE wearing it straight and I LIKE not having to do much more than wash it and let it dry before going off to were ever I go. I feel like I am pretty but not stunning. I am shorter than average and men tend to like tall, leggy women. I have a pretty face and an hour-glass figure, but I'm not svelte and I'm not ever going to be "bikini" ready. I acknowledge this about myself, but I know that there is NO ONE who has a perfect figure and I know that there is more to my and who I am than my physical attractiveness.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Please don't take this the wrong way, but I HATE having my hair done. I like having it a little past my shoulders and I LIKE wearing it straight and I LIKE not having to do much more than wash it and let it dry before going off to were ever I go. I feel like I am pretty but not stunning. I am shorter than average and men tend to like tall, leggy women. I have a pretty face and an hour-glass figure, but I'm not svelte and I'm not ever going to be "bikini" ready. I acknowledge this about myself, but I know that there is NO ONE who has a perfect figure and I know that there is more to my and who I am than my physical attractiveness. BG, You look great... that isn't the issue. Your dealing with a really rural area where the dating pool is much more limited. Having been a single guy in that type of environment I can understand what your saying. Either you develop a deep sexual attraction to Larry the Cable Guy on Meth or your going to have to learn to enjoy being alone. Some people are going to hate on me for this... but... maybe you should branch out a bit. Have you considered dating men from other countries/cultures? The internet can make the world a much smaller place!
Author brainygirl Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 BG, You look great... that isn't the issue. Your dealing with a really rural area where the dating pool is much more limited. Having been a single guy in that type of environment I can understand what your saying. Either you develop a deep sexual attraction to Larry the Cable Guy on Meth or your going to have to learn to enjoy being alone. Some people are going to hate on me for this... but... maybe you should branch out a bit. Have you considered dating men from other countries/cultures? The internet can make the world a much smaller place! I've dated Pakistani and Indian (the country) men. One was super into numerology or something and went gaga when he found out my name started with an A, apparently that's a lucky letter for him, but it was too kooky for me. Numbers and stars and past lives do not predict my life. The other wanted to get really physical really fast and I just wasn't into it. I'd prefer to date someone close enough to where I live that we could actually go on dates, otherwise its just penpals . . . what's the point?
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 I've dated Pakistani and Indian (the country) men. One was super into numerology or something and went gaga when he found out my name started with an A, apparently that's a lucky letter for him, but it was too kooky for me. Numbers and stars and past lives do not predict my life. The other wanted to get really physical really fast and I just wasn't into it. I'd prefer to date someone close enough to where I live that we could actually go on dates, otherwise its just penpals . . . what's the point? Ok... numerology... that is a bit weird. Any Mexican guys where you live? Teach yourself some spanish... I know knocks you down each time you run into yet another douchebag... but don't stop trying. Just put some walls up to keep the losers out and try new things. I'm sure you will win in the end... it's just a numbers game.
Author brainygirl Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 Ok... numerology... that is a bit weird. Any Mexican guys where you live? Teach yourself some spanish... I know knocks you down each time you run into yet another douchebag... but don't stop trying. Just put some walls up to keep the losers out and try new things. I'm sure you will win in the end... it's just a numbers game. I live so far out in the boondocks that there aren't even any Mexicans. I've dated hispanic guys in the distant past, nothing in particular against them. I'm not terribly picky about race. I think I'm just feeling really burnt out about dating lately. I'm feeling more and more like the numbers are not in my favor. And I've internalized some things that are floating around on these threads that make me question if I will ever be successful in finding love. I don't know how to fix all these things, but I'm smart enough to know that if something is making you feel badly about yourself that you need to stop it.
bayouboi Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 I think I'm just feeling really burnt out about dating lately. I'm feeling more and more like the numbers are not in my favor. And I've internalized some things that are floating around on these threads that make me question if I will ever be successful in finding love. Embrace being alone, it sucks but I suppose there are a lot worse things. Also, at least you have your kids who are there to love you. I don't think I'm attractive enough for the kind of women I'd like to be with and so I can see a future that's just me by myself. Again, it sucks, but sometimes it's comforting when I think of the pain that the past has brought me.
how2forgive&2forget Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 I feel you on this. During those times I've actively sought out dates/pote tial partner were the most frustrating times. When I decided to just enjoy my time with my friends, that's when a lot of men started asking me out. I think it's because I looked like a fun girl, someone people want to hang out with. When I was doing the online dating, I was always anxious and tense and I think my dates sensed that. I think you should just find things to do that will make you happy, go to meet-ups, socialize with people who have the same interests, expand your network and your group of friends. This way you are still putting yourself out there but not actively. About the makeup thing, I think a least basic make-up is necessary. Eyeliner, mineral makeup powder, a little blush and red lips can do a lot to enhance your appearance. It doesn't take long to apply, 5 minutes is enough for me. I prefer my hair to be wash and go too. As long as it's healthy. I don't color my hair anymore, it was badly damaged last time I had it done. And lastly, being single is not so bad.
Woggle Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Don't take this the wrong way but you come across as having a chip on your shoulder when it comes to men and normal and healthy guys can smell a bitterness from a mile away. It is a huge turnoff to a man.
Author brainygirl Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 Don't take this the wrong way but you come across as having a chip on your shoulder when it comes to men and normal and healthy guys can smell a bitterness from a mile away. It is a huge turnoff to a man. Pot, meet kettle, kettle, say hello to pot. Actually in my real world life, I am generally upbeat and fun to be around. I've been accused of being too nice to and about people.
Woggle Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Pot, meet kettle, kettle, say hello to pot. Actually in my real world life, I am generally upbeat and fun to be around. I've been accused of being too nice to and about people. I am not the one complaining about my dating life. I don't know why but for some reason women seem to like me. Go figure. Maybe you are different in real life but you do give the impression of being bitter on here.
Author brainygirl Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 I am not the one complaining about my dating life. I don't know why but for some reason women seem to like me. Go figure. Maybe you are different in real life but you do give the impression of being bitter on here. No, you complain about all women and yet seem to have a happy love life. I am aware (maybe wishfully so) that the people who I've met are not representative of the entire male population.
Woggle Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 No, you complain about all women and yet seem to have a happy love life. I am aware (maybe wishfully so) that the people who I've met are not representative of the entire male population. I don't complain about all women but I have seen and experienced enough to know some things. I know what I say does not apply to all women. You might think that logically but your posts give off a demeanor of bitterness towards men. You are also very attractive in your pictures but your body language says stay away.
Author brainygirl Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 I don't complain about all women but I have seen and experienced enough to know some things. I know what I say does not apply to all women. You might think that logically but your posts give off a demeanor of bitterness towards men. You are also very attractive in your pictures but your body language says stay away. Erm, thanks. I am actually very shy, so I think that's why I seem to have odd body language in pictures.
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