organic1 Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 I am new to this forum -- A guy reached out to me on a business networking site he is 48 and me 38. Our first conversation we talked for an hour and exchanged pictures. He asked me out on a date and when we met it was an instant connection. He said it was fate we met. He was a total gentleman, opening the doors, the conversation was fun we both have a great sense of humor, bantered with each other, found out we have similar interests. He had me laughing so hard my face hurt. The restaurant he suggested turned out to be under new management and the food was gross. He was cool about it and took me to another place he knew of. He paid for two dinners. As the evening went on we showed more signs of flirting with each other. He was so sweet everyone he knew he introduced me to them. Then we went dancing -- he is a fantastic dancer and kisser. Afterward we walked to his place, talked more, kissed, he said he wanted to know more of me longterm and for a lifetime while we were kissing. Eventually, we ended up into the bedroom. Another amazing experience -- his words -- we cuddled all night. The next morning he asked me on another date. We were going to go dancing but he said he was at church all day, but still wanted to see me and suggested we chill at his place and watch movies with wine and cheese. The conversation was good he asks allot of question of me, and explained the movie series to me. Which we eventually ended in the bedroom again -- more good stuff and lots of cuddling and touching as before. This guy is a good guy he has great qualities. I do like him. I know I should of held onto the cookie longer and not gone to bed with him although this was a carpe diem moment and I took it -- how many times do you connect instantly especially from online. We said our goodbyes and he wished me a good day at work. It has been only a couple days since we spoke. My worry is we did two booty calls because it happened so fast with no time to really get to know each other. My question is: should I wait for him to reach out to me first or just go for it and reach out to him to letting him know I was thinking of him?
AverageJoe Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Do yourself a favor and dont be one of those clingy bitches. Let things take its natural course as you get on with everyday life.
Author organic1 Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 I have some more dates to go on. He can find me if he is interested. Keep it moving.
Fouts Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Agreed. If you have to chase him at this point, you're not going to like what you see when you catch him. But hope he calls you soon and you can continue on, it sounds good...and no, holding on to the cookie wouldn't make any difference.
Author organic1 Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 Fouts, that is an interesting comment -- and no, holding on to the cookie wouldn't make any difference. In my girl circles they always talk about waiting to give it up to a guy so he can get to know more of who you are as a person. Why wouldn't it of made a difference?
alexlakeman Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 -'m in that age range and in business lol. What business network site, linkiden? PM me the name if you don't want to post it here. Well, 2nd date he invited u to his place, as it was a sure thing to get laid, why spend money going out; just my opinion, but who knows. If he calls and on the next date he actually takes you out, then it will be better
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Fouts, that is an interesting comment -- and no, holding on to the cookie wouldn't make any difference. In my girl circles they always talk about waiting to give it up to a guy so he can get to know more of who you are as a person. Why wouldn't it of made a difference? Fouts is kinda right. If he is just in it for the sex... he will bounce whether you give it up or not. It's not that often a guy will ditch you just because you did things too fast... That kind of think is much more common with men 14-29.
lonestar190 Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Call him if you want to call him. Calling a few days after spending a weekend together isn't clingy. Calling 7 times in a row, or every hour is clingy. If he doesn't respond, call after another day or two and leave a final message, while being nice and polite. Stop overthinking everything and just do what you want to do. If the other person doesn't like it, its not a match anyway.
bac Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 (edited) IMO You described him as a smooth operator. He is 48, so, it is a low probability that he is romantic and serious about you after a few dates. IMO you have some chance with him because you are 10 yrs younger, so, he might think that it is good for sex. Also, it is good, if you are not clingy and not looking for attachment too soon. There is nothing wrong with calling a man unless he does not give a f....k for you. Unfortunately, most older men feel this way after only a few dates, especially if they already had sex. The facts that you felt chemistry and enjoyed sex are the least important details for older males. They simply take it for granted that you were totally into them. Older males want some challenge for their brains and some quality brains' games. Edited October 27, 2010 by bac
Author organic1 Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 Call him if you want to call him. Calling a few days after spending a weekend together isn't clingy. Calling 7 times in a row, or every hour is clingy. If he doesn't respond, call after another day or two and leave a final message, while being nice and polite. Stop overthinking everything and just do what you want to do. If the other person doesn't like it, its not a match anyway. True on your comment of clingy. If I do decide to call and no response then it was what it was a fun experience.
tkgirl Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 I am new to this forum -- A guy reached out to me on a business networking site he is 48 and me 38. Our first conversation we talked for an hour and exchanged pictures. He asked me out on a date and when we met it was an instant connection. He said it was fate we met. He was a total gentleman, opening the doors, the conversation was fun we both have a great sense of humor, bantered with each other, found out we have similar interests. He had me laughing so hard my face hurt. The restaurant he suggested turned out to be under new management and the food was gross. He was cool about it and took me to another place he knew of. He paid for two dinners. As the evening went on we showed more signs of flirting with each other. He was so sweet everyone he knew he introduced me to them. Then we went dancing -- he is a fantastic dancer and kisser. Afterward we walked to his place, talked more, kissed, he said he wanted to know more of me longterm and for a lifetime while we were kissing. Eventually, we ended up into the bedroom. Another amazing experience -- his words -- we cuddled all night. The next morning he asked me on another date. We were going to go dancing but he said he was at church all day, but still wanted to see me and suggested we chill at his place and watch movies with wine and cheese. The conversation was good he asks allot of question of me, and explained the movie series to me. Which we eventually ended in the bedroom again -- more good stuff and lots of cuddling and touching as before. This guy is a good guy he has great qualities. I do like him. I know I should of held onto the cookie longer and not gone to bed with him although this was a carpe diem moment and I took it -- how many times do you connect instantly especially from online. We said our goodbyes and he wished me a good day at work. It has been only a couple days since we spoke. My worry is we did two booty calls because it happened so fast with no time to really get to know each other. My question is: should I wait for him to reach out to me first or just go for it and reach out to him to letting him know I was thinking of him? um... sorry, I hate to break it to you but that amazing sort of instant connection happens all the time when a guy wants to get laid! and to answer your last question.. no, do NOT call him first. Let him be the one to call you... and take you out on a real date again so you can really get to know each other... outside of the bedroom!
Cee Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Please keep us posted, organic1. I'm curious to see if he calls. I got flattened by a 48 year old this summer. He was all about intensity, deep conversations, and mind blowing sex. But he was a complete a-hole and a player. I'm not that mad about it- it was fun while it lasted. And I learned a few new techniques to add to my repetoire. My question, out of curiosity, is how did this guy approach you on a business networking site? How did he transform the conversation from work to romance? I wouldn't have the cojones to approach someone in the way.
Author organic1 Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 Please keep us posted, organic1. I'm curious to see if he calls. I got flattened by a 48 year old this summer. He was all about intensity, deep conversations, and mind blowing sex. But he was a complete a-hole and a player. I'm not that mad about it- it was fun while it lasted. And I learned a few new techniques to add to my repetoire. My question, out of curiosity, is how did this guy approach you on a business networking site? How did he transform the conversation from work to romance? I wouldn't have the cojones to approach someone in the way. He approached me about having coffee online based on my picture -- only business conversation was what we did as our professions. I feel you on the intensity and deep conversations with this 48 year old he is very well rounded and a world traveler. It is definitely something to remember. I didn't learn anything from him on new techniques. Thank goodness as I don't need my nose wide open on someone who may be a possible playa. I will keep you posted on the outcome.
tkgirl Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 He approached me about having coffee online based on my picture -- only business conversation was what we did as our professions. I feel you on the intensity and deep conversations with this 48 year old he is very well rounded and a world traveler. It is definitely something to remember. I didn't learn anything from him on new techniques. Thank goodness as I don't need my nose wide open on someone may be a possible playa. I will keep you posted on the outcome. huh? anyho.. I hope he does call you because it can be great when things start off so intense and continue on from there! do keep us posted!
Author organic1 Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 um... sorry, I hate to break it to you but that amazing sort of instant connection happens all the time when a guy wants to get laid! and to answer your last question.. no, do NOT call him first. Let him be the one to call you... and take you out on a real date again so you can really get to know each other... outside of the bedroom! You have a point if all he wanted was sex then it would be amazing as there is nothing to lose.
Author organic1 Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 huh? anyho.. I hope he does call you because it can be great when things start off so intense and continue on from there! do keep us posted! I was answering Cee's questions. I agree having a great start makes it a great connection all around.
Author organic1 Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 From all your advice and taking into account the experience he and I had this past weekend -- I decided to take a chance and reach out by text him just now to say hello your being thought of -- he replied right back with a nice message saying he is thinking of me as well and his week has been crazy busy and can't wait for a break and ended the text with a wink and kisses. Yea! That put a big smile on my face. At least I know I am on his mind as well. Definitely, a good thing.
tkgirl Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 From all your advice and taking into account the experience he and I had this past weekend -- I decided to take a chance and reach out by text him just now to say hello your being thought of -- he replied right back with a nice message saying he is thinking of me as well and his week has been crazy busy and can't wait for a break and ended the text with a wink and kisses. Yea! That put a big smile on my face. At least I know I am on his mind as well. Definitely, a good thing. yeah! I still wish you would have let him contact you first but I know that's easier said than done so now what? did he make a plan with you or say he'd call? don't let him "backburner" you.. he could still be playing you and a couple other women at the same time... I'm sorry to be such a downer... just want you to keep your nose open!
Author organic1 Posted October 28, 2010 Author Posted October 28, 2010 yeah! I still wish you would have let him contact you first but I know that's easier said than done so now what? did he make a plan with you or say he'd call? don't let him "backburner" you.. he could still be playing you and a couple other women at the same time... I'm sorry to be such a downer... just want you to keep your nose open! I know I should of waited...at least my feeler was a positive one. Not what I expected, him responding, so it was a pleasant surprise. You are right he might be dating other women (I would not be surprised he is a catch -- but so am I). I just wanted to know if there was mutual interest. Maybe our connection on the conversation did mean something. No new plans yet. I am leaving the ball in his court and won't reach out. Actually, I don't want my nose open! Haha! Nose Wide Open is slang for being in love.
tkgirl Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 I know I should of waited...at least my feeler was a positive one. Not what I expected, him responding, so it was a pleasant surprise. You are right he might be dating other women (I would not be surprised he is a catch -- but so am I). I just wanted to know if there was mutual interest. Maybe our connection on the conversation did mean something. No new plans yet. I am leaving the ball in his court and won't reach out. Actually, I don't want my nose open! Haha! Nose Wide Open is slang for being in love. I was wondering what "nose open" meant in your earlier post... you silly kids and your funny little sayings! and good on you for believing you're a catch.. go with that! let him contact you next and hopefully you two will get together soon and that connection you felt will get stronger.. good luck!
Author organic1 Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 Well...He asked me on a third date to a dinner party this past Sunday! I couldn't go as I had other commitments -- so looking forward to when we will see each other again.
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