mzdolphin Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I'm in my mid forties. He is in his early 50s. We are both divorced with kids. We went out on about nine dates over three months before we even kissed. Mostly meeting at mutual spots for dinner, a movie, etc. Then last week, after going out for drinks, we had our first kiss and sexual encounter. It was our first real time alone, at my place. I hadn't planned on anything happening. We were mostly making out, but he was stimulating me in such a way I reached orgasm. We didn't have intercourse then because he didn't have a condom and frankly I wasn't ready for that (wasn't even ready for what happened but it was nice.) A few days later he invited me to his place. We watched a movie and ended up in bed. We made out, quite a bit. This time he had a condom. He continued to stimulate me. (He's quite good at this). I had two orgasms, but we never had intercourse. We did almost everything put. I mean he was on top, everything, but no penetration. We get along quite well, enjoy each other's company. I'm just wondering what does this mean? I'm worried that because it was our first time really alone and we ended up having sex (even though there was no intercourse) that he may think I'm too easy. And we still haven't had intercourse. I know at age 45 you'd think I'd have this stuff figured out, but I don't. He calls often and things seem ok, I'm just worried I crossed a line that I can't take back.
alexlakeman Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I'm surprised he waited nine dates. You won't have a problem; having sex atd 9th date etc is fine. I'm ur age, so I know I would NOT have waited 9 dates, my CPL would be too high. Good luck.
Author mzdolphin Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 Thanks for the encouragement. The older I get, the more nervous I seem to get. And I really like this guy. Things seem so effort-less.
Norville_Rogers Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 The next time you go out...make it another dinner date or movie. And skip the sex stuff. He may get the hint that things were going a little quick for you and wait for the next time. Or you can take him back to your place and have some fun. Either way...enjoy him and his company. You sound like you really like the guy.
nice-easy-day Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 As a guy, I HIGHLY doubt that he thinks your "easy" by any stretch of the imagination after nine dates. It sounds like he's really into you for a relationship vs. a good time.
Author mzdolphin Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 maybe he has trouble keeping an erection? I thought about that. He seemed to maintain one. But he also seemed to be super sensitive anytime we got anywhere close to intercourse and he also seemed to want to prolong the evening. Perhaps he fears intercourse makes it harder to maintain erection. He also seems devoted to making sure I'm happy. That part is really nice.
Author mzdolphin Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 As a guy, I HIGHLY doubt that he thinks your "easy" by any stretch of the imagination after nine dates. It sounds like he's really into you for a relationship vs. a good time. It was nine dates, three months, but the first time I invited him to my place, after dinner. Before I didn't even give him my address. I would just meet him someplace. We live in metro D.C. area. I live in Virginia and he lives in Maryland and we would always meet in D.C. or Virginia via the metro. So I'm thinking, this was the first time in my home. Well, first time I let him in.
strength-abounds Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Communicate to him your feelings about this issue. If he truly cares, he will keep it PG-13 as long as you see fit. From the way you describe this gentleman, he sounds like someone that will happily accept the boundaries.
redmelon Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 I thought about that. He seemed to maintain one. But he also seemed to be super sensitive anytime we got anywhere close to intercourse and he also seemed to want to prolong the evening. Perhaps he fears intercourse makes it harder to maintain erection. He also seems devoted to making sure I'm happy. That part is really nice. He probably knows more about female pleasuring because he has an erectile issue and perhaps has learned to compensate. Just don't be surprised.
bac Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 It was nine dates, three months, but the first time I invited him to my place, after dinner. Before I didn't even give him my address. I would just meet him someplace. We live in metro D.C. area. I live in Virginia and he lives in Maryland and we would always meet in D.C. or Virginia via the metro. So I'm thinking, this was the first time in my home. Well, first time I let him in. I have never heard of any woman who would wait so long before sex. Any conservative book about dating advices a woman to have sex in about 1 month or in 5 dates. They give the advice for young girls. I guess if you are in 40s, you might want to have a shorter waiting period.
nice-easy-day Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 He probably knows more about female pleasuring because he has an erectile issue and perhaps has learned to compensate. Just don't be surprised. Almost makes me wish I had an erectile issue
Author mzdolphin Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 What the hell? I dont understand the issue. You crossed the line how? I mean all that had occurred was you getting head from him. You only received and you didnt even give him anything. How is that crossing the line? Its like a man complaining that a woman had been giving him blowjobs. I never said he was "giving me head". That did not occur. I'm not complaining about his actions. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't perceived as moving too fast because it was the first time we were alone together. Not the first date, but first time I had invited him into my house.
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