Another long distance relationship. Grrrrrr!

[nittanylion]

I have not post here for awhile because i was trying to help my fellow members on the another forum with broken heart. Hehe!

 

 

Anyway, I had LDR with my ex-gf of 2.5 years. We are supposed to move in together the end of this year. Unfortunely, it didnt work out because she cheated on me the past 5 months. So, I grieve the past 4 months just like everyone with a broken heart, and basicly moving on my life. My head is clear now, i am truly over my ex. No, I am not on the rebound with this girl, new gf.

 

Until a month ago, I met a wonderful person. We hit it off. My current gf is very pretty inside and outside unlike my ex with bad attitude.

 

Ex. saw my gf's pictures, she was livid, and jaw dropping. The fact my ex always bragging about she is hottest girl in town. Well, now she is not hot anymore cause my current gf is 10xxx better than her. Anyway, i dont care about the look when i am choosing a partner. Personality, and good character is more important to me than look.

 

Ex. is now super jealous, and may regret for what she had done to me. Good, i like to see her suffer the same way what she did to me. Poetic justice? I know there is no hell in chance I would take my ex back. The trust has broken. Even she begs, i will never take her back. In fact, during the breakup she has contacted me 5x, and i never once contract her or beg her back. I took the high roll, and basicly move on with my life.

 

 

My current relationship is awesome. We have developed a deep feeling, and mutual respects for each others. We love each more and more each day. In fact, we have talk about marriage down the road. I am 39 y/o, and she is 33 y/o

 

 

Now, here is the problem, she lives in Ghana(west africa), and i live in the states. I just would like to know if anyone has experienced in bringing their love one to the states from a foriegn country.

 

What is the best, and fastest way to bring her here? How long does the process taken? How does the process work?

 

If you have any ideas, please help me out.

 

 

Thank you all for the support! I appreciate it.

Edited October 26, 2010 by nittanylion

[Els]

Uh, how much time have you and your gf spent together IRL so far? AFAIK there is only one way, the fiance visa, and I would strongly advise against it if this relationship is as new as I think it is.

[LittleTiger]

If you're really over your ex you sure spent a lot of time telling us about her and her feelings!

 

I agree with Elswyth. This new relationship is too new to consider anybody moving anywhere. Have you even met her in person yet?

[Citizen Erased]

Sounds to me like you're considering marrying someone because she's hotter than your ex and it will make your ex jealous/mad.

 

It's not hard to research your options in any case, I suggest you do so.

[Els]

If you're really over your ex you sure spent a lot of time telling us about her and her feelings!

 

I echo this. You sound just like GooseChaser posting 30 1000-word posts about this guy she's trying to be more than FWB with, and then saying, "Nah, I don't care that much about him, I'm taking a casual approach to this". See the irony?

[nittanylion]

Uh, how much time have you and your gf spent together IRL so far? AFAIK there is only one way, the fiance visa, and I would strongly advise against it if this relationship is as new as I think it is.

 

 

I met her through a mutual friend. we have spoken on the phone many times, chat online everyday, and see each other on webcam. But i have not meet her in real life yeah.

 

Yes, I am considering bringing her over as I get to know her. She told me she is ready to settle down and have a family and I am too.

 

What is AFAIK mean? Fiance visa is a strong possible.

 

Thank you for you input.

[nittanylion]

If you're really over your ex you sure spent a lot of time telling us about her and her feelings!

 

I agree with Elswyth. This new relationship is too new to consider anybody moving anywhere. Have you even met her in person yet?

 

 

I was just giving you a brief summary of my situation. Yes, I am over an ex, and more forward with my life. But i do agree with you. the relationship is too new to consider her moving here. I even told her that. I told her to take it slow. and doing it one step at a time.

[Els]

Are you nuts??? I'm sorry, but I mean it. You don't make such long-term commitments before you've even met in person. You might want to really read about the fiance visa and all its binding legalities and ramfications. It isn't as easy as apply, come, live happily ever after, and if not, no skin off anyone's back.

 

Seriously, try visitor's visa for a month or two first.

[nittanylion]

Sounds to me like you're considering marrying someone because she's hotter than your ex and it will make your ex jealous/mad.

 

It's not hard to research your options in any case, I suggest you do so.

 

Grant it, she is hotter than my ex based on look. But that is not the underlying reasons that i want her. I told her I love her not based on look but her strong christan value, moral values, good characters, and overall a good person. Yes, she love, and accept me for who i am, and i do the same for her. We have a lot of things in common as we get to know each other more, and more everyday. Off course, who wouldnt rub in an ex face for the all the bad thing she has done to me? Like lie, cheat and steal..... lol.

[LittleTiger]

I was just giving you a brief summary of my situation. Yes, I am over an ex, and more forward with my life. But i do agree with you. the relationship is too new to consider her moving here. I even told her that. I told her to take it slow. and doing it one step at a time.

 

Well ok, if you say so, but (with the exception of those posting on the separation and divorce section) most people starting a thread on LS about a current relationship don't write 60% of it about their ex. You compare your ex to your new gf, more than once, and even mention how you'd like her to suffer. That's pretty common thinking for somebody still getting over a break-up.

 

However, I don't know you so I won't argue further. What I will say is that LDRs are hard enough without additional, external, emotional complications and I'm just cautioning you to be careful or somebody is going to get hurt.

 

One step at a time is the right thing to do and in your case the next step is to meet in person. I wouldn't think further than that at this point, if I were you.

 

If you're the one who's taking it slow - asking about the fastest way to get her through US immigration - I can't imagine what she's doing at her end.

[nittanylion]

Are you nuts??? I'm sorry, but I mean it. You don't make such long-term commitments before you've even met in person. You might want to really read about the fiance visa and all its binding legalities and ramfications. It isn't as easy as apply, come, live happily ever after, and if not, no skin off anyone's back.

 

Seriously, try visitor's visa for a month or two first.

 

 

Yes, i am awared of the situation. I dont expect everything to be smooth sailing. Nothing is going to be easy if she comes and live with me in real life. If problems crop up, we have to handle things in a mature way, and to the best of our ability. So far, we agree to make a long term commitment to each other. I am a realist. I would have to consider every factors before seriously bringing her over.

[LittleTiger]

Off course, who wouldnt rub in an ex face for the all the bad thing she has done to me? Like lie, cheat and steal..... lol.

 

Most people who are over their exes wouldn't.

[LittleTiger]

Yes, i am awared of the situation. I dont expect everything to be smooth sailing. Nothing is going to be easy if she comes and live with me in real life. If problems crop up, we have to handle things in a mature way, and to the best of our ability. So far, we agree to make a long term commitment to each other. I am a realist. I would have to consider every factors before seriously bringing her over.

 

A realist is the one thing you are not!

 

Again I have to agree with Elswyth. If you've seriously agreed to make a long term commitment to somebody who have never met then, I'm sorry, I don't wish to offend you but you are nuts!!!

 

I don't know the immigration laws for the US but for the UK and NZ there is no way they will give you a fiance visa unless you can prove that you have met and have a genuine relationship (except in the case of parentally arranged marriages).

 

For heavens sake, meet the girl and then you can start to make rational decisions.

[nittanylion]

Most people who are over their exes wouldn't.

 

I gues you are rite. Maybe I should get back to my cheating ex. It beats the alternative. Nothing personal against you but you sound bitter, and negative.

Edited October 26, 2010 by nittanylion

[LittleTiger]

I gues you are rite. Maybe I should get back to my cheating ex. It beats the alternative. Nothing personal against you but you sound bitter, and negative.

 

No, that's not what I'm saying at all. Of course you shouldn't get back to your ex, but you do need to get over her before you rush headlong into a relationship with a women you've never met.

 

I'm not intending to be negative, I'm just advising you to be very cautious.

 

No bitterness intended either - not sure where you got that from. I'm not the one trying to rub my hot new girlfriend in my exes face.

 

My opinion is given in a genuine effort to help you. If you don't like what I say, feel free to ignore me, but I do speak from experience.

[nittanylion]

No, that's not what I'm saying at all. Of course you shouldn't get back to your ex, but you do need to get over her before you rush headlong into a relationship with a women you've never met.

 

I'm not intending to be negative, I'm just advising you to be very cautious.

 

No bitterness intended either - not sure where you got that from. I'm not the one trying to rub my hot new girlfriend in my exes face.

 

My opinion is given in a genuine effort to help you. If you don't like what I say, feel free to ignore me, but I do speak from experience.

 

 

Well, I appreciate your opinions. Yes, I am cautious about this. I want to get to know her more before proceed with anything.

 

Thank you.

[Rollercoasterr]

Okay so this is a really really bad idea. You've only been with this girl for a short amount of time and you're already talking about marrying her and bringing her over here. While that's not a bad thing, and I did that with my now husband, it isn't something to be taken so lightly.

 

But okay, if you can prove you've met her within the past 2 years, afford to cough up over $2000 in fees, provide evidence of a TRUE and LOVING relationship, then by all means, go for it. Be aware, she'll have an interview in Ghana. They are not an easy consulate and your relationship WILL be scrutinized by the interviewing officer. You will also have to prove that you make 125% of the poverty level twice throughout this process. No money, no honey.

 

I wish you good luck, but I see no happy ending. This is very much a rebound relationship as much as you claim it's not. I wish you the best of luck, however.

[nittanylion]

Okay so this is a really really bad idea. You've only been with this girl for a short amount of time and you're already talking about marrying her and bringing her over here. While that's not a bad thing, and I did that with my now husband, it isn't something to be taken so lightly.

 

But okay, if you can prove you've met her within the past 2 years, afford to cough up over $2000 in fees, provide evidence of a TRUE and LOVING relationship, then by all means, go for it. Be aware, she'll have an interview in Ghana. They are not an easy consulate and your relationship WILL be scrutinized by the interviewing officer. You will also have to prove that you make 125% of the poverty level twice throughout this process. No money, no honey.

 

I wish you good luck, but I see no happy ending. This is very much a rebound relationship as much as you claim it's not. I wish you the best of luck, however.

 

I know its not going to be easy. As of now, I am going to take it easy with her. I will assess everything befpre I make the leap of faith. I have spoken to an attorney. I understand the process a little bit better. Money is not an issue for me. Again, I have been in a few long term relationship to know what a rebound is. I am not on a rebound. But Thank you for your input.

Edited October 26, 2010 by nittanylion

[Els]

If money is not an issue, what's holding you up from flying her over for a nice, all-expenses paid holiday in the USA so you get to know her better?

[nittanylion]

If money is not an issue, what's holding you up from flying her over for a nice, all-expenses paid holiday in the USA so you get to know her better?

 

 

I am busy working at the moment. I want to take my time getting to know her. Like many of you said I am going too fast. Maybe I am going too fast. I want to slow down a little bit. Maybe I will see in Dec/Jan if my job dont take all my times.

[Els]

... Nobody said it was too fast for a first get-to-know you meeting.... We all just said it was too fast for fiance visas and marriage. Quite different, those.