thatsonlyme Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I've been doing pretty good lately. I'm not really desperate to find a girlfriend or have sex anymore, I'm taking it slow. I have no hopes or intentions in reconciliation anymore, at least in my head, my heart somewhat disagrees but it's not that bad anymore. I have plans in partnering up with my friend in a business venture, I bought myself a car I wanted and I'm moving into my new apartment next Sunday. Overall I'm doing really good on my own. today I'm just having a bad day. I just feel ****ty. I miss her. She's moving to LA soon and we will probably never see each other again. What messed me up, I think is that she started showing her feelings although in a very subtle way. I'm sure she's having second thoughts but she's to proud to admit or do anything to change it. Few days ago, I told her everything I wanted to say. I'd say I was mean and even rude at times, something she would never tolerate from anybody and even though I told her I don't want to be friends with her anymore, she's just not giving up. Yes, she said if I don't want to be friends she doesn't care, but when I told her so she said she'll keep me posted even though I don't wanna talk to her anymore. wtf? Anyway, last night I went to a bar with a friend. I used to hang out in that bar with her, and that's basically the only place where I know bartenders, guests and feel like at home. I'm not trying to avoid places because of her anymore, this is my life and I'll go wherever I feel like going! Needles to say, she showed up with a friend from work. There was no room for them to sit close to us so they insisted that we join them. So we did, but I positioned my friend between two of us because I didn't want to sit next to her. I tried to ignore her as much as possible but she kept talking to me. She even came up with a stupid idea of ME going with her to LA, one of us driving U-haul while the other one would drive her car. "you can stay for few days and we can have fun there" she said. I politely explained her that it's not an option. Then she asked me to help her with her home internet which was down for couple of days. I agreed so I went to her place after bar. As we were driving she asked me to have a joyride through the city, like we used to do before. I said I don't feel like it and I'm tired. She insisted and added how much she misses our joyrides! I didn't give in. Then she asked if I wanted to go to the gym with her. No thank you. While we were in the house, we talked a little bit and joked how much weight she's lost. She said it was because of all these problems she's having and stress caused by our break up. Really? I though she broke up with me! When I decided to leave she gave me the sweetest look and hugged me fondly. All this time I acted cold and disinterested but I was surprised the way she was. She even tried to explain me how she's not doing drugs anymore (even though she denied doing drugs when I told her that I know all about it). I replied good for you, but it's none of my business really. Why the hell she's doing all this? She's moving out of state and we are finally separating our bank accounts and everything else we had together. This is a point of no return and she knows it. She's not expecting me to offer her another chance is she? It's not going to happen, I already have offered another chance and she ignored it. I'm never getting that low again. So far I know she had an argument with her new bf and I think they even broke up but most likely they are together again. I guess she's realizing that grass is not always greener... I'm not really expecting any advices, this is more like my personal log. And a tribute to a common wisdom how they always get more interested and in some instances even come back once you genuinely don't care anymore. I don't care anymore. I'm better off without her. Only today I miss her again. But it's OK, it's good to remember how much I loved her. Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. And I don't care if my heart gets broken again. I will love again. My love could conquer the world! Hopefully, somebody, somewhere, sometime will appreciate it. If not, hell with them, they will be missing out. I'll keep looking. I know there is somebody out there worth looking. I might fail, I might never find her, but I will never give up! I will die with a smile on my face, knowing I did my best, with no regrets. In a 100 years all of this will be gone, nobody will be around to remember or feel this pain. But today I cried. Today I missed her. Today I felt sad. Today will be yesterday tomorrow.
SadGirl23 Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 And a tribute to a common wisdom how they always get more interested and in some instances even come back once you genuinely don't care anymore. I don't care anymore. I'm better off without her. Only today I miss her again. But it's OK, it's good to remember how much I loved her. Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. And I don't care if my heart gets broken again. I will love again. My love could conquer the world! Hopefully, somebody, somewhere, sometime will appreciate it. If not, hell with them, they will be missing out. I'll keep looking. I know there is somebody out there worth looking. I might fail, I might never find her, but I will never give up! I will die with a smile on my face, knowing I did my best, with no regrets. In a 100 years all of this will be gone, nobody will be around to remember or feel this pain. But today I cried. Today I missed her. Today I felt sad. Today will be yesterday tomorrow. I'm telling you... I keep up with your posts as I admire your strength.. I felt this way today too as I cried in the shower. Even though I am the girl that got broken up with, I don't even know if my ex boyfriend will come back, but doesn't matter, they will have to live with their decision! If only they had some sleepless nights, crying to sleep. If only...
Coolsbreeze Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I honestly wish i had your strength, I've been broken up with my ex girlfriend for about 6 weeks now and there hasn't been a minute in that time where I haven't missed her. She left me for another guy a week after we broke up. Every time I think about her beautiful face or the sweet things she would say to me it brings me down and makes me cry a little about the life that we planned together that's not going to happen anymore. I was truly and deeply in love with her and now knowing that she's happy and having fun with someone else makes me feel worse about myself. I guess i can take some small comfort in knowing that she's happy, and I love her enough to let her be happy.
Hhhh Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 Plenty of fish in the sea... Something as simple as a womens smile can make your day much better
Author thatsonlyme Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 Thank you all for kind words. The truth is, it's not my strength, it's just a stubborn determination to be happy(er) without her. I feel weakness when it comes to NC but at least seeing her doesn't hurt that much anymore. Sometimes it even helps, especially now when she started showing some emotions. SadGirl23 I think they do have sleepless nights though. They have to live with their decisions and I bet there are times when they question their choice. My ex has plenty of friends, she doesn't need me as a friend, yet she tries hard to maintain contact, even after I treated her like ****. She's determined not to get back together as much as I am but I know she misses me, at least sometimes. She goes out and party almost every night, just as I try to go out whenever possible, staying home alone must be hard on her. Coolsbreeze My ex had another guy lined up before breaking up with me. The night of our break up she stayed with him while I was crying in bed. The worst feeling in my life! Try not to think about things that bring you down. I know it's hard, trust me, EVERYTHING reminds me on her, every place, every season. Fall is the worst, about this time five years ago I was the happiest person in the world, our relationship just started and I honestly believed she was the one. Hhhh, Absolutely agree with you, those little things can definitely make my day better. The problem is it doesn't happen every day. The weather here is getting ****ty and I will be getting less and less smiles. I walked so much in last two months, indian summer served me well.
Capital P Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Thing is guys, and this is mostly to the guy who's gf left him and started seeing someone else after they broke up. The arent attracted to you moping about. The only thing that will attract them at this stage is you being out and getting over it. They dumped you, so the realization doesnt kick in until they think you have also moved on. So force urself to move on, knowing that this will get to them more than anything else you can do
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