eerie_reverie Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 First thing today, he asked about my doc appointment. How did it go? Did it hurt? What did they say? He was relieved that my tumors were benign, and asked if I'd been put on any medication. I mean, seriously. My family don't remember these kinds of details about my life. My friends certainly don't act as concerned. As usual, we joked through every meeting. When our eyes met across the hall after both receiving an accidentally humorous email from someone, we cracked up, knowing exactly what the other was thinking. He emailed jokes about it to me for the rest of the day. IS IT SERIOUSLY POSSIBLE I'M DELUSIONAL???? Is this all in my head??? I'm single... he's single. WTF is the holdup. It's been almost three years since I've liked him.
welikeincrowds Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 Have you ever tried dropping hints? About not having anything planned during the weekend or something like that? You must have.
Author eerie_reverie Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 (edited) For those who are not familiar with my "story", I confessed my feelings to him and asked for a transfer about two years ago. Nothing came of it, and it was never mentioned again. However, I feel like our dynamics have shifted a LOT since then. He is much more laid-back around me these days. He knows me better. He LIKES me better. I know I have options such as: 1. Come on to him - which I don't feel comfortable with because it's unethical 2. Find another job - which I don't want to do because I love this one 3. Broach the subject again, demanding to know whether the feelings are mutual - which would be awkward (but could also provide some much-needed closure on thetopic) 4. Keep trying to get transferred :sick: 5. Do nothing except enjoy his company and spend all my free time thinking about him - which sucks, and leaves me paranoid thinking at some point he might stop being single I just want some kind of freaking closure. What should I do? Edited October 26, 2010 by eerie_reverie
Citizen Erased Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I'd imagine he's more laid back around you because he assumes you'd be over him by now. It's awkward being around people that fancy you when you don't feel that way. Your closure should come from the fact he hasn't made a move on you all this time.
Star Gazer Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I had a bloody nose a couple times last week, and the week before last. My 65 year old boss (somewhere around there, anyway), who I can guarantee you isn't attracted to me, asked the same questions. How's your nose? Are you still bleeding? Does it hurt? Do you need to see a doctor? Are you okay?! Some people just...CARE, Spook. Why? Because they're nice people. We also crack jokes about our cases. Why? Because we're comrades. Yes. You're delusional. And I say that with love.
Author eerie_reverie Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 I don't know. I think he likes me. :bunny::bunny::bunny: Is there a tactful and professional way to demand the truth from one's boss?
Citizen Erased Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 You seriously learned nothing from the last time? You know, when he went and told his boss and you got dragged into HR. I suggest if you insist on doing this, you find another job first.
Author eerie_reverie Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 The greatest irony is that about 90% of the single guys that I work with have expressed some interest in me. I just feel like there's a base level of attraction between people of similar age thrust into similar circumstance. Which is why it boggles my mind that he is immune to my charms. Sometimes, when I'm try to sound smart, I catch him looking at me with awe/ bewilderment. Does that count as evidence? He's also said stuff like, "I love how you're so dramatic." LOVE. Who uses "LOVE" in conversation with a bunny boiler? He must have heard the rumors around the office. I mean, I'm pretty outspoken about my infatuation with him.
Author eerie_reverie Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 You seriously learned nothing from the last time? You know, when he went and told his boss and you got dragged into HR. I suggest if you insist on doing this, you find another job first. I think if they wanted to fire me, they'd have done so already. I've given them plenty of reasons. As it happens, my company has a preference for crazy people.
Citizen Erased Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 They're nit going to fire you, they'd be too afraid you'd sue them. I was thinking more about how awkward it'd be having a boss that thinks you're a stalker but clearly you're at that stage again of thinking when he even so much as looks at you it's true love. So have fun.
OceanGirl Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 My boss also asks detailed questions about my health and even my parent's health. When my dad was ill, he asked every day: How's your dad? Did he see the specialist X yet? What did the specialist X say? Did he start his medication? etc etc. Like you, I also thought that those things mean that he REALLY likes me. But now that I am over my crush, I see that that's just his personality and he does this with other co-workers too. Today, I was off work for most of the day because I was running errands. I just found a missed call from my married male co-worker. He just called to share a funny story about a student of his. That's what co-workers do. It's fun but ultimately meaningless. Point is, your boss knows that the ball is in his court if he wants to do anything.
denise_xo Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 Your closure should come from the fact he hasn't made a move on you all this time. Point is, your boss knows that the ball is in his court if he wants to do anything. This. Sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear and you want closure, but making a move on this again sounds like a potential disaster. There's an option missing on your list which is 'find another man'. I know you've tried, but don't give that one up...
Author eerie_reverie Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 He loves me not: I made a fruit tart for his bday (shortbread on bottom, white chocolate and cream cheese filling, strawberries, blackberries, mandarin oranges, and pineapple on top... it's freaking amazing) and he didn't even try it. I know he's on a diet and all, but I feel like if he liked me he'd have tried a slice just to show he appreciates the effort, you know? Perhaps it weirds him out how overboard I go with dessert.
TaurusTerp Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 He loves me not: I made a fruit tart for his bday (shortbread on bottom, white chocolate and cream cheese filling, strawberries, blackberries, mandarin oranges, and pineapple on top... it's freaking amazing) and he didn't even try it. I know he's on a diet and all, but I feel like if he liked me he'd have tried a slice just to show he appreciates the effort, you know? Perhaps it weirds him out how overboard I go with dessert. Probably suspects you roofied it.
2sunny Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I don't know. I think he likes me. :bunny::bunny::bunny: Is there a tactful and professional way to demand the truth from one's boss? even if he likes you - some people have a rule... don't fish in the company pond. remember Curmudgeon used to say that? i know many men who have and live by the same rule. even if they adore the gal - if they work together - she is off limits to them. it helps in the work environment to keep the job stable. they can enjoy and find women to date outside of their work.
EasyHeart Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I'd imagine he's more laid back around you because he assumes you'd be over him by now. It's awkward being around people that fancy you when you don't feel that way. Your closure should come from the fact he hasn't made a move on you all this time. I had a bloody nose a couple times last week, and the week before last. My 65 year old boss (somewhere around there, anyway), who I can guarantee you isn't attracted to me, asked the same questions. How's your nose? Are you still bleeding? Does it hurt? Do you need to see a doctor? Are you okay?! Some people just...CARE, Spook. Why? Because they're nice people. We also crack jokes about our cases. Why? Because we're comrades. Yes. You're delusional. And I say that with love. Listen to them. They're right. The greatest irony is that about 90% of the single guys that I work with have expressed some interest in me. I just feel like there's a base level of attraction between people of similar age thrust into similar circumstance. Which is why it boggles my mind that he is immune to my charms. Sometimes, when I'm try to sound smart, I catch him looking at me with awe/ bewilderment. Does that count as evidence? He's also said stuff like, "I love how you're so dramatic." LOVE. Who uses "LOVE" in conversation with a bunny boiler? He must have heard the rumors around the office. I mean, I'm pretty outspoken about my infatuation with him.I use the word "love" all the time in casual conversation, including with my employees. It has nothing to do with affection, attraction or emotional connection. This man is your BOSS. I don't know all the background that you've referred to, but if you've already gone to HR, there's a good chance this guy is already on notice of a potential sexual harassment claim. There's a good chance he could get fired if you pursue this crush. Give the poor guy a break and leave him alone -- you've got 90% of the office to pick from! Why do you want to destroy this man's career?
utterer of lies Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 IS IT SERIOUSLY POSSIBLE I'M DELUSIONAL???? Is this all in my head??? I'm single... he's single. WTF is the holdup. It's been almost three years since I've liked him. So, my advice is going to be a bit different. Since you obviously can't get him out of your system, and you will not be happy there as long as he is still on your mind so much, force the issue. I-Love-You confessions are ****, so you will have to just seduce him (as in, jump on him ). Either he will let himself be seduced by you, and everything turns out well.... ...or he will refuse you, which will (hopefully) embarrass you so much that you will go find another job. Because, seriously, just reading your posts here makes my head hurt. 3 years wasted? Ouch. And even 'you like your job' is not a good enough reason to stay there when you are suffering from unfulfilled love with a person you see every day.
Cee Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 My crushes fade after I've lost hope. Kill the hope. Find something not to like about him. Pierce the infatuation bubble. My therapist used to call it "contaminating the fantasy." Picture him in an unflattering way. I don't know anybody who has a perfect boss. There must be something not to like about him. Allow yourself to be annoyed by him. Once you start seeing him as a flawed person, then you'll see things a little more clearly.
Author eerie_reverie Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 Listen to them. They're right. I use the word "love" all the time in casual conversation, including with my employees. It has nothing to do with affection, attraction or emotional connection. This man is your BOSS. I don't know all the background that you've referred to, but if you've already gone to HR, there's a good chance this guy is already on notice of a potential sexual harassment claim. There's a good chance he could get fired if you pursue this crush. Give the poor guy a break and leave him alone -- you've got 90% of the office to pick from! Why do you want to destroy this man's career? I'm not trying to destroy his career. As I said before, I'm not even trying to date him. If I were trying, I would have probably asked him out/ come on to him/ attempted to befriend him outside work by now, none of which I have in three years. I just don't want him to be my boss anymore. That's all I've ever asked for. I don't see why it's such an unreasonable request. I'm clearly committed to this company.
EasyHeart Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I'm not trying to destroy his career. As I said before, I'm not even trying to date him. If I were trying, I would have probably asked him out/ come on to him/ attempted to befriend him outside work by now, none of which I have in three years. I just don't want him to be my boss anymore. That's all I've ever asked for. I don't see why it's such an unreasonable request. I'm clearly committed to this company.I was exaggerating for effect. I don't know anything about your company, so I can't opine on your specific situation. But I just wanted to make the point that there are serious legal ramifications that can come out of workplace attractions, and it is the person who is in a position of authority (ie, your boss) who will get punished. The sad thing is that a little sexual tension can actually be helpful and increase productivity in the workplace, but only if people maintain appropriate boundaries.
Author eerie_reverie Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 This is EASILY one of the most depressing days of my life. Thank God for alcohol. He got engaged.
Author eerie_reverie Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 I don't like to stereotype, but shes the epitome of dumb blonde bimbo. If she's his type I realize I never had a chance but still, I'm blaming myself for not finding a new job sooner. On the horizon is a hookup with one of the 90% of the office that wants me for tonight. I know this is the opposite of who I want to be but I don't care. I want to do something that hurts. I LOVED him. I'm off to get banged. My first ever ONS. Later yall.
Star Gazer Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 I'm off to get banged. My first ever ONS. Later yall. WOAH, wait a second! Where did this come from!??!
SadandConfusedWA Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 WTF, I thought he was single? Was he dating someone all this time? Who did he get engaged to? You are sure?? fuvk him
Star Gazer Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 WTF, I thought he was single? Was he dating someone all this time? Who did he get engaged to? You are sure?? fuvk him Can you possibly stick with one user name? I'm dying to hear Spook's story of how the night unfolded...
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