Lakeside_runner Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I keep running (no pun intended...) into this girl on campus pretty regularly. I think she's on the cross country team, anyways she definitely is a runner/athlete. Now, she's always by herself etc. In my eyes she has this "indescribable something" but I can see how she could not be perceived as hot etc. She kind of has this average, cute look of a girl next door. So... yeah... I'd like to get to know her better etc. The thing is... she's a student, I'm on campus in a different position. In terms of "Lost": I am one of "them" . There would be probably like a 8-9 years age difference. My question is: should I even bother thinking of doing something with this situation or just let it slide? I just see her a couple of times every week. I don't want to freak anybody out...
welikeincrowds Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 She's not your student, is she? If you're concerned about university ethics, unfortunately I don't have the answer. But if it's just a matter of whether or not to strike up a conversation with her: do it, bro. No doubt. Just don't ever tell her that you can see how she could not be perceived as hot etc.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 She's not your student, is she? If you're concerned about university ethics, unfortunately I don't have the answer. She's not my student. I've checked the "ethics manual" a while ago and what the policies are and it's ok. But if it's just a matter of whether or not to strike up a conversation with her: do it, bro. No doubt. Yeah, that's the only question here. I just don't want to be this "old guy" who hits on a young girl (which I ultimately will be ). Just don't ever tell her that you can see how she could not be perceived as hot etc. Oh, don't get me wrong. To me she's the hottest cutest girl I've seen in a while
Star Gazer Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I'm assuming she's like 21? Do you even want to bother with someone who's in her "woooooooooo! this is funnnnnnnnn!" time of her life?
that girl Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 You're sure she's an undergrad? Any idea about age? And how old are you? It doesn't sound like a great idea, particularly since you just think she's cute rather than someone you've gotten to know.
Green Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 If it is perfectly cool ethics wise then I say GO AHEAD! Why are you so cowardly, just walk up to her and say "Hey" and give her a smile or something. Then talk to her about some random sht but be flirty about it. Then ASK HER OUT. Good luck, seems like you are your own worst enemy with all this overthinking. Plus I tend to get a lot more hot and bothered about girls to the point where I'm already asking them out before I know whats going on. You should think less and act more when it comes to women.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 @SG: I don't know if she's like that. I'd like to find it out though... @that girl: I'm 30. She's most likely an undergrad judging from the athlete's luggage tag on her backpack. Grad students usually are not officially affiliated with sports teams. If she were a grad student (which again most likely is not the case) - it'd be even better Yeah, I think she's cute. I don't know her and there probably wouldn't be a chance to get to know her unless I strike up a conversation with her. Given that she's a runner it should be easy. @Green: Yeah, you're right. Especially the last sentence...
810 Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 i say keep running (no pun intended) and eventually make it looks like an accident and bump into her and say: "i see you run here often by your self. wanna run together sometime?"
GorillaTheater Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 It's something that seems a little dangerous to me, if you don't have tenure yet. I guarantee you that, ethics manual or no ethics manual, romantic drama with undergrads can potentially cause your scores on teaching, service and scholastic productivity to take some hits.
Green Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 It's something that seems a little dangerous to me, if you don't have tenure yet. I guarantee you that, ethics manual or no ethics manual, romantic drama with undergrads can potentially cause your scores on teaching, service and scholastic productivity to take some hits. He's a smart guy and he said he looked into it and it had no ehtical rerprocusions. Seriously they will probably tenure him if they see he is cool lol
GorillaTheater Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 He's a smart guy and he said he looked into it and it had no ehtical rerprocusions. Seriously they will probably tenure him if they see he is cool lol Yeah, the fourth leg of tenure consideration: "So, does he like score chicks and sh*t?"
Star Gazer Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 It's something that seems a little dangerous to me, if you don't have tenure yet. I guarantee you that, ethics manual or no ethics manual, romantic drama with undergrads can potentially cause your scores on teaching, service and scholastic productivity to take some hits. I totally agree. This is why I brought up this issue last time he raised the subject of approaching a cute undergrad. I hate to use the word, but many young college girls would find it creepy. And if the relationship ends poorly, sh*t will be talked about you all over campus. That reputation will follow you from USC to Loyola to UCLA and all the way down to Santa Monica Community College. I've seen it so many times......
Author Lakeside_runner Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 (edited) I totally agree. This is why I brought up this issue last time he raised the subject of approaching a cute undergrad. I hate to use the word, but many young college girls would find it creepy. And if the relationship ends poorly, sh*t will be talked about you all over campus. That reputation will follow you from USC to Loyola to UCLA and all the way down to Santa Monica Community College. I've seen it so many times...... Yeah... that's what I was thinking too... I mean - people talk, especially young people... sigh. It's ok with the rules but life is life... I probably should spend more time off-campus. Edited October 26, 2010 by Lakeside_runner
Green Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 Yeah... that's what I was thinking too... I mean - people talk, especially young people... sigh. It's ok with the rules but life is life... I probably should spend more time off-campus. I've lost faith in you. Prof. Einstein totaly would have banged that chick if he had been single and like her.
AverageJoe Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I've lost faith in you. Prof. Einstein totaly would have banged that chick if he had been single and like her. This. Agreed.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 I've lost faith in you. Prof. Einstein totaly would have banged that chick if he had been single and like her. Dude, see, both sides have valid arguments! I'll give it some more thought on my own and will post an update. I'll try talking to her and see what she's like first...
Star Gazer Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Dude, see, both sides have valid arguments! I'll give it some more thought on my own and will post an update. I'll try talking to her and see what she's like first... What's worth more to you? The chance to "bang" some random undergrad? Or maintaining your professional reputation/career?
Green Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 What's worth more to you? The chance to "bang" some random undergrad? Or maintaining your professional reputation/career? Not to be rude but tell me Star has your career brought you all the happyness you thought it would. Has putting your career first left you with the love life you always wanted. I'm more professional then any one that ever was or ever will be. But in the end I'm a passionate man and if I knew it was cool to date a girl on the college campus who wasn't one of my students then your damn straight I would date her. If this girl is just some pretty face you don't really give a damn about then forget her. But obviously you are thinking about her so GO for it. Not like you're going to go up to her and be like "Hey I'm a proffessor want to go out" No don't even mention being a professor till it comes up naturaly on the date... that is if you ever ask, and if she even says yes. Seriously Sexual harasment is a joke and you need to not let something like that run your life.
Star Gazer Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Not to be rude but tell me Star has your career brought you all the happyness you thought it would. Has putting your career first left you with the love life you always wanted. Funny you should ask. NOT putting my career first made my first 5 years of practice, and supporting myself thereafter, VERY difficult. How? I had a relationship with one of the partners at my first firm. Biggest mistake I ever made. So yeah, I don't dip in the company ink, and I wouldn't recommend LR dip in the kiddie pool either.
Green Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Funny you should ask. NOT putting my career first made my first 5 years of practice, and supporting myself thereafter, VERY difficult. How? I had a relationship with one of the partners at my first firm. Biggest mistake I ever made. So yeah, I don't dip in the company ink, and I wouldn't recommend LR dip in the kiddie pool either. What he is considering doing is completly different and you know it. And tell me what happened to the Partner because he is more LK then you were in the situation you described.
Star Gazer Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 What he is considering doing is completly different and you know it. And tell me what happened to the Partner because he is more LK then you were in the situation you described. How are they any different? I don't think you understand how a professor's reputation follows him from school to school.
that girl Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Has putting your career first left you with the love life you always wanted. But we're not talking about love, we're talking about sex. Whatever Lakeside Runner wants, he doesn't know this girl, he just thinks she's cute. Considering the priority he puts on running, cross-country team is likely part of her allure. But he doesn't know her.
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