StephanieB Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself and connect with others going through similar stuff. I have been with my BF for 6 years now. We did the LDR thing early on in our relationship when we were at two different Universities.. then we moved in together (3000km away from our home town) as he got a job offer on the other side of the country. I left University to be with him, got a great job and saved up some money, and he was able to pay off his student loans. 2 years later, I felt like I should finish my degree up, so I moved to the closest city with a University (5 hours away), and thought that since we already did the LDR thing for so many years it would be a breeze.. this time around I am finding it very tough. It is really hard to adapt from seeing him every day to only every other weekend or so. I just got back a few hours ago from seeing him, and won't see him for another few weeks. I get really down and miss him a lot.. which is exacerbated by the fact that I live in a city where I know very few people and have no close friends or family near me. Also, the money I saved up I am just itching to put onto a house.. I just want to settle down and continue our life where we left off.. but we are both waiting for me to be done school. A year and a half left to go. How do you all deal with it?
folieadeux Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Welcome Stephanie! Glad to see your LDR at least has somewhat of an end in sight once you’re done with Uni. My SO and I have never lived together apart from our visits so I can’t speak to the transition of going back to an LDR, but I can offer some (hopefully) helpful advice for getting through it. Being on the same page with respect to the future is definitely key. You and your SO already seem to have that down, so that’s a great starting point. Different people require different levels of communication, so it’s always good to establish some sort of “routine” if you will that works for the both of you as far as phone calls, emails, texts, etc, go. It appears as if you two are also able to see each other fairly regularly, so planning the next visit and having that to look forward to also helps. The biggest thing that gets me through is keeping busy. Staying focused in school, meeting new friends, and finding a hobby will definitely serve you well during the time you’re apart from each other. Best of luck to you both!
Romance Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 Its rough but you're being strong and independent! Going through LDR and then knowing YOU need to get that degree and going LDR again shows so much strength, way to go. It's rough! I'm a 5 hour distance from the bf but plan to move in the spring or fall (depending on my transfer credits work out!) I honestly couldn't do it for much longer, this takes such a toll on us! (as i know EVERYONE here can agree to)
Author StephanieB Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 Thanks.. It is good to know that I am not the only one going through this. We both know that me finishing school is the right thing to do.. but more than once I have contemplated dropping the whole thing and just becoming a baby maker BUT for the sake of our future.. I need to get that piece of paper!
JDouglas Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I somewhat understand what you're going through. I lived with my gf the whole summer, since she had a break from the university. Sure was hard when she had to go back and we had to go back to a LDR. At least for me, things get a LITTLE easier after a while when you get used to the situation and just stay busy with your life. The period right after separating is definitely the hardest. And since you have a goal and end in sight, you should just soldier on. You'll make it, I'm sure. Best of luck!
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