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Time to stop "searching" and begin acting...


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Posted

Hey guys,

 

I've been about my "love life" (if you can call it that) over the past couple of weeks and I've come to a conclusion; things need to change. I've been searching for a girlfriend ever since I began liking girls, but I've never had a girlfriend. I've had sex, I've kissed girls, but never had a girlfriend. I'm tired of that though.

 

I'm approaching 20 years old, and I've realized that I've barely ever acted on impulse, always lacked courage and pehraps intuition. I've been holding myself back, waiting for someone to come to me. Well, that's not worked. I want to find somebody, I want to get out there and meet people who could become girlfriends. I'm not doing either of those things right now.

 

What I really want to know, is where do I start? Where can I meet potential girlfriends? Any other tips for building a rapport if I meet a girl I like?

 

I know my queries are a little vague, but I'm lost for ideas thus far. I'm tired of waiting for life to come to me. Also, I don't want to sound rude or inappreciative, but please don't tell me to wait or that I should just have faith, I'm young etc.,because in all honesty, I've been doing that for years and it's not worked. I've made my decision.

 

Thanks :)

Posted

Are you in school?

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Posted

Nope.

 

I work full time in an office full of men. Which sucks, lol.

Posted

Get a hobby, take a course on a language you've always wanted to speak. Ask your friends if they know any cute/nice girls for you. Once you've found someone don't wait and see, just go for it. Talk to them, be funny, ask them out. :)

Posted

I agree with life2b. Start by doing activities you enjoy and talk to the woman you see

Posted
Nope.

 

I work full time in an office full of men. Which sucks, lol.

 

 

You might consider a career change. I could never work in an office. You might be better suited to something else

Posted

Actually, I do believe you can build rapport almost anywhere. It's a question of not expecting things to happen instantly, but literally to build. If you are at work, you can start by saying hello to a girl in passing. Next time, you could smile as well. Next time, you could ask her how she is today ... and so on.

 

It's a question of making some small initial contact. It doesn't have to be romantic but can be a friendly comment at the bus-stop. 'Don't you wish there were seats at this bus-stop?', 'Why does it feel as if there's a north wind blowing here?' Anything to make contact. Then slowly build on it. There won't always be much of an opportunity to get as far as asking someone on a date, but you can practice just making contact. If you go to regular venues, start in small ways like this and build a bit more of a relationship each time you meet the one you desire. I think there's too much emphasis on getting the girl instantly: relationships don't usually work like that, they take time, people need to get used to each other, people need to become friends rather than strangers. I think if you start in little ways like this, at every opportunity when in a queue, on the market, in the bank, etc., you'll find it gets easier to be warm and friendly and ultimately make lasting contacts.

Posted

As Spiderowl said, relationships take time to build. If it starts off too quickly, it is likely to end too quickly. ;)

 

It may not seem like it, but you have got bags and bags of time to meet someone. I didn't have a serious girlfriend until I was about 23 - but when she did come along, she swept me off my feet. Having said that, things didn't happen over night. It took time for a friendship to develop into something more.

 

My advice would be to get to know as many people as you can - both male and female. Get used to meeting new people in as many different situations as you can. If you come over as confident and self-assured then you will stand a much better chance when you do meet someone, than if you are standing there shuffling from foot to foot and mumbling.

 

As for working in an office full of men, don't worry about it. Others would disagree, but relationships at work are best steered clear of. Remember, you would still have to work with that person if you broke up! I've seen that happen in my professional life (not to me) and it can get very awkward.

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