pandagirl Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 I just need to clear my mind. I've done quite a bit of self-reflection and self-improvement in the seven weeks since my breakup. I think things are going as well as they can be for myself. But the truth is: I still love him. I can't imagine not ever being with him again. I want another chance with him in a normal situation, where we live in the same city, and not only seeing each other every 6-8 weeks. Where phone calls will be replaced with actual time together. That being said, even if he asked for me back right now, I would have to decline, because nothing has changed. Yes, I'm a better person now, but I'm not all the way there yet. We still have 1500 miles separating us. He is still intensely working and doesn't have much free time. He will be back in 5-6 months. I don't know what will happen, but I won't lie and say I don't think about it. We didn't break up for lack of love. I just want to re-try our relationship under normal circumstances. I talked to him this weekend, and told him how I was feeling. We haven't talked about "us" since the breakup. I told him how my feelings for him haven't changed, and while I know we need to be apart for now, that I was afraid of losing him forever. I didn't ask for him back, but just told him how I felt. He returned my sentiments in kind, saying he still missed me and loved me. He said he wants to see me, but as that involves a plane ride, I don't know how smart or feasible that is. My number one priority is still myself, and it is clear that his priority is his work. He can date other people, and I will too if the right person and opportunity comes along. Maybe all these feelings will change in the months to come, but the love and chemistry is still there between us. I don't know if that will ever die, because it was still burning when we broke up.
Ajax Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 I think that you have a pretty good attitude about this. And I don't think it's necessarily bad that you're still holding onto some hope for one day being together again as long as you're not letting it consume you. Keep working on moving forward. I think you're making good progress.
durkadurka Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 Well good on you for keeping an open mind. That's more than what I can say for a lot of the other girls out there.
Author pandagirl Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 I think that you have a pretty good attitude about this. And I don't think it's necessarily bad that you're still holding onto some hope for one day being together again as long as you're not letting it consume you. Keep working on moving forward. I think you're making good progress. No, I'm not letting it consume me, but sometimes I get really SCARED of never getting to spend time with him again... and that makes me sad. Of course, when I talked to him last night, I got all weepy at one point and he said, "Oh Panda, don't cry..." and I said, "I hate it when I get weepy!" Well good on you for keeping an open mind. That's more than what I can say for a lot of the other girls out there. What do you mean?
Ajax Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 No, I'm not letting it consume me, but sometimes I get really SCARED of never getting to spend time with him again... and that makes me sad. Of course, when I talked to him last night, I got all weepy at one point and he said, "Oh Panda, don't cry..." and I said, "I hate it when I get weepy!" I get that way when I think about never spending time with my ex again too. She hurt me bad, but she's still an amazing person and while we were together my life was better because she was in it. My sistuation's different than yours in that we didn't break up due to distance, so I'm trying to move on. In your case though, while moving on is necessary, the distance issue can be overcome. The hopeless romantic in me hopes you'll get that second chance.
Author pandagirl Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 I get that way when I think about never spending time with my ex again too. She hurt me bad, but she's still an amazing person and while we were together my life was better because she was in it. My sistuation's different than yours in that we didn't break up due to distance, so I'm trying to move on. In your case though, while moving on is necessary, the distance issue can be overcome. The hopeless romantic in me hopes you'll get that second chance. Well, I am realistic. We *might've* encountered the same problems even if we weren't long-distance, but I have no way of knowing that, which is why I want another chance. Even if it ends in another breakup, at least I'll know for sure.
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