rebeccajones Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Feeling a little desperate. It just feels so difficult since he is gone. I know I should look forward to a man who wants the same things I do, a family and marriage. Those were things he was not ready for. So there's no reason to want him back, because it could not work. I am at a different point in my life, I look forward to taking care of a child, I'm ready for the responsibility and that was something he didn't want. He thought it would change his life and I guess he did not want to change his life. Although he bought pets instead that required alot of attention and work. It's just such a huge change and I still talk of him in such a happy way with friends, it's like he is still with me. I was very happy in some ways, content, but he was still a child in a way, not mature, he took good care of himself. I don't think he wanted the burden or responsibility of being tied to another or not me. I know it is painful for him, I do know. Although I think he is moving forward and having fun probably meeting girls as I am meeting guys. I guess that's why it's called heartbreak, because my heart feels broken.
Author rebeccajones Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 When I say I want marriage and a family is that normal? Is that something to say up front to a date? I'm always kind of hesitant to say it, but it is what I long for or desire. Someone to grow old with, a life partner, friend and a child or two.
pandagirl Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 When I say I want marriage and a family is that normal? Is that something to say up front to a date? I'm always kind of hesitant to say it, but it is what I long for or desire. Someone to grow old with, a life partner, friend and a child or two. YES! If you know you want kids, and he doesn't, then that is a dealbreaker for you. Doesn't make it hurt any less though. But you made the right decision for yourself.
Author rebeccajones Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 Thanks Panda. I guess I'm learning the hard way. I knew from the beginning we he was opposed to marriage and he left his last gf over the same issue. I just liked him and found him interesting so I gave it a shot and we had a great time overall. I wanted him to be more mature and take responsibility for me / us and I wanted us to have a child. Now I know I that if the person is not looking for marriage and family it is a deal breaker! I took the risk and got burned. We both did really.
Ajax Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 When I say I want marriage and a family is that normal? Is that something to say up front to a date? I'm always kind of hesitant to say it, but it is what I long for or desire. Someone to grow old with, a life partner, friend and a child or two. I think it's something you need to bring up carefully. It's important, yes, and I think it's appropriate to discuss on a first date, but you don't want to push it. I want to get married and have kids, but depending on how a potential date approached the issue I might think that 1) She was desperate, 2) Her Bio-Clock was in control, 3) She's more interested in having someone to marry than getting to know me.
Author rebeccajones Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 Yea it seems to be a difficult subject since men see marriage differently. I'll have to look into what is the best approach.
shayan Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 you can bring it up casually, like if you see a kid and you're like kids are so cute, and gauge his response.
Author rebeccajones Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 I think casual is good not too serious. Good idea
Fouts Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 It depends on how old you are. If you're early 20's, it's kind of odd to bring those things up early in a relationship. If you're early 30's it's good to bring them up early, because it can definitely be a deal breaker.
Recommended Posts