metallica Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 (edited) I met a Canadian girl online dating in June. We contacted each other by email every day and everything went well. So after a few months we met up in Paris for a whole week when she was on holidays and had an amazing time. We were physically intimate and she said she wanted to be my g/f. We stayed in contact by phone/skype and email every day when we got back. Her contacts were full of affection and terms of endearment and her emails were realllllyyy long! She said I was always on her mind. She would send me photos and tons of kisses and presents in the mail. She was majorily into me. So she invited me to Canada for a holiday for a week in September to meet her family. She kept saying how excited she was before this trip and we were planning our future trips.Her family really liked me she said. The first few days were great we were doing fun things, taking photos and eating out. We were still being intimate. But then I sensed she got a bit cold for the last few days. She never told me why and I still can't figure it out (I maybe revealed too much information one night about my past and lack of serious relationships and she was questioning me about all girls who I was friends with). She wouldn't hang round with me one night at a party (she said she was busy catching up with her long lost family), she wouldn't be intimate with me the next morning but then she was intimate with me on the last night (although she wouldn't cuddle afterwards) and she seemed sad when I was going and kissed me goodbye passionately. When we were leaving I asked if she had a good time with me and all she said was that it was a good thing we got to know each other better in person rather than talking on the phone. When I asked was she having second thoughts she said not to think any bad thoughts and that long distance was hard but that we would sort it all out. She also said she was so glad and thankful I came out. All very cryptic... Since we got back she has only contacted me once/twice a day by email and was always busy when I tried to phone. Plus she is never online on skype anymore. I was trying to contact her to see how things were going and reconnect with her. I suspected there was no affection in her emails any more, like no kisses or flirts (they were more like emails you would send to a friend rather than your b/f). She never sent me long emails any more and felt distant as she never told me what was going on her life and when she asked about my life it felt like she was just passing the time of day. I was a bit excited and sent her an email professing how I felt for her - I now know this was a mistake and may have scared her off - but she didn't reply to it and even afterwards she did sometimes contact me out of the blue and even once asked me was everything OK because she was worried about me as she hadn't heard from me for a day. She never mentioned that she wanted to break up during this time though and was keeping in contact so I thought she just needed time which I was happy to give her. However, about 4 weeks after we got back from Canada she dumped me by email and said she felt so guilty and didn't want me to be upset but that we should just be friends and that this was was she thought was best. She said I was an awesome guy. She didn't give any reason other than she took each meet up as it came and we didn't get on well the last time. I had planned to visit her in Canada over Christmas but she told me in the email she would probably now be too busy, and if she was, I would have to cancel my flight. She said she wanted to keep in touch, be friends and get together next time she was in Europe. This was very sudden for me and a massive surprise. She has been sending me very short emails since the break up but says she is still is too busy to call or return my calls. I think I may have been a bit needy and clingy since then, asking her to talk on the phone, and her replying telling me what she is doing that day (ie. busy) and that sorry she doesn't have time to talk but that she hope I am having a great day! I have NC her for 4 days now. I am so confused as to how she could change so quickly from saying I was amazing and the best thing ever in her life to basically ignoring me. It doesn't make sense to break up after one or two 'bad' days of a holiday and not give it a chance considering the great times we have had before. We are both professionals in our mid-20s and I don't really want to play games but felt this girl was a good long term prospect and she led me to believe she felt the same about me. What should I do? I felt we had amazing chemistry, lots in common and feel if I can see her again we can work things out. Should I email her or try to call her again? What should I say? I was thinking of reminding her of the good times we had in Paris and getting to know each other by email and that we should hang out sometime. She is back on the online dating site but I don't think she is receiving matches. I'm pretty sure she is still single... Dan Edited October 25, 2010 by metallica
Author metallica Posted October 30, 2010 Author Posted October 30, 2010 Hi guys, any one got any thoughts on this?
strength-abounds Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 Yep, I have thoughts about this; although, not ones you want to hear. Whenever a woman loses attraction to a mate, that mate has a fart's chance in a tornado to ever get back with the woman. Yes, there are couples out there that do get back together but that relationship never lasts either simply because of lasting resentment over the initial breakup. If there is chance of the two of you getting back together, it's not going to be because of what you say or do. It will be on her terms and her terms alone. My advice is to dissappear from her life and see what happens. Maybe she will come back, maybe she won't. It's a risk that you're going to have to take. Good luck to you.
Don Ho Posted October 30, 2010 Posted October 30, 2010 What should I do? I felt we had amazing chemistry, lots in common and feel if I can see her again we can work things out. Should I email her or try to call her again? What should I say? I was thinking of reminding her of the good times we had in Paris and getting to know each other by email and that we should hang out sometime. She is back on the online dating site but I don't think she is receiving matches. I'm pretty sure she is still single...Dan You should caulk it up to a good time over the summer and leave it as that. Yes, YOU felt YOU had amazing chemistry. Sorry Bro, but it's always about how THEY feel about YOU. She already told you she's too busy. That's womaneze for "I don't have enough interest or desire to contact you back". BTW, you have NO idea if she's with someone or dating. You're making an assumption because you want to think that's the case. Further advice? Find a local woman you can actually have a more meaningful relationship with.
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