OceanGirl Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 I am considering putting a list of what I look for in a man on my profiles. I left it deliberately vague in the past so that more men would contact me. Now I worry that it made me seem "low value" and if I had a longer list men would see me of more of a "prize" than I really am. So this is what I thinking about: (in no particular order) Cute/hot and sexyTall and in shapeIntelligent and quick wittedAnimated and passionateHave a sarcastic sense of humorKind and reliableRomantic and likes to express affection by touchA gentleman that will treat me like a ladyHave a stable job and direction in lifeRelationship orientedLikes animals Is this a turn off?
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 I would be turned off if I saw a bullet pointed list. Try and put it into prose. One of the sites I use even has a section for describing your 'ideal date', so it's perfectly acceptable.
Surrealist Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Is the list like a selection criteria that the applicant would need to address in a written reply?
Author OceanGirl Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 Oh no. The very first message since re-instating my OKC profile. I am freakin' disgusted Dear Miss OceanGirl, I am a part trained male submissive, british by nature and nurture, but Australian by birth, who keeps looking at your profile and letting my mind wander into all sorts of mischief. I am 31 years old, a lover of wordsmithery, traveling, decent creatures, the ocean, sports motorcycles, devilish Dommes, dark rum. I could elaborate, if prompted, but right now all i wish to do is introduce myself, show a personal touch, and hopefully entice at least a spark of interest, rather than drown you under a flood of words... as to my more deviant interests...I have been introduced in the past, but not exactly thoroughly trained, in arse and pussy worship, orgasm denial, cbt, restraint, erection punishment and golden shower duties...And I am hoping that some, if not all, of those areas interest you enough to get back to me, Miss OG...because your profile gives me the impression of a woman i was born to worship... There is far more to me than the depraved profile and photo suggests, and I am far from submissive in my day to day life. I would be happy to show more of myself, in the form of less obscene photos and more words...so please, just ask. Wishing you a wicked night, and I hope to hear from you soon,
utterer of lies Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Is this a turn off? Yes. Put a nice pic and only a few sentences. Anything longer is a turn-off, no matter if it's your preferences or your life's history. If I want to know more, I'll ask.
Author OceanGirl Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 Is the list like a selection criteria that the applicant would need to address in a written reply? LOL feel free to apply
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Yes. Put a nice pic and only a few sentences. I tend to skip profiles like that. It shows a lack of imagination.
LittleTiger Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Hi OG. As someone who successfully found her perfect match online I can tell you how I did it. I think you're actually looking at things from the wrong angle. It's great that you know what you want because it will help you weed out the guys who don't match up but the trick is, once you've decided what you want, you use the appropriate bait. You won't catch a salmon if you're fishing with worms. From the reply you got there I'm guessing you put up a photo of yourself in a bikini something? You are indeed the prize, but what kind of prize are you? Are you looking for a sex buddy, a one night stand or a long term boyfriend/partner/husband? If you're after a sex buddy or what you're offering is sex put pics up of you looking as hot and sexy as possible. If you're looking for a boyfriend, tone it down. Sure, you can show that you're pretty and a have a good figure but don't flaunt it. In the words of the profile, sell yourself - don't give a shopping list. The best adverts on TV sell the product or the lifestyle associated with the product. They don't give a list of what sort of customer they're looking for. You've already discovered that the more vague you are the more guys will contact you, especially if you're attractive. So now you want to find someone you can really connect with you let them know who you are. You will get less replies, but the ones you do get will be far more genuine and from guys you are more likely to want to meet. So write something from the heart about you. Who are you inside, what you like to do, what makes you happy, what sort of things make your heart beat faster, what makes you feel at peace, what do you value most in the world etc etc. If you want to make yourself a prize then sell yourself as just that - tell the guys what you have to offer and the good ones will come running. You'll be contacted by guys who are looking for something real, and not just a good looking girl to sh*g if they get lucky on the second or third date.
valpre Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Dear Miss OceanGirl, I am a part trained male submissive, british by nature and nurture, but Australian by birth, who keeps looking at your profile and letting my mind wander into all sorts of mischief. I am 31 years old, a lover of wordsmithery, traveling, decent creatures, the ocean, sports motorcycles, devilish Dommes, dark rum. I could elaborate, if prompted, but right now all i wish to do is introduce myself, show a personal touch, and hopefully entice at least a spark of interest, rather than drown you under a flood of words... as to my more deviant interests...I have been introduced in the past, but not exactly thoroughly trained, in arse and pussy worship, orgasm denial, cbt, restraint, erection punishment and golden shower duties...And I am hoping that some, if not all, of those areas interest you enough to get back to me, Miss OG...because your profile gives me the impression of a woman i was born to worship... There is far more to me than the depraved profile and photo suggests, and I am far from submissive in my day to day life. I would be happy to show more of myself, in the form of less obscene photos and more words...so please, just ask. Wishing you a wicked night, and I hope to hear from you soon, Yuck, online dating is super depressing at times. I've had a few of these types of emails too, makes me want to give up on the whole thing. Good luck, hope someone great contacts you soon.
Surrealist Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 (edited) LOL feel free to apply I was almost gonna say no way, your list is too stringent and demanding. Then I re-read it properly, and thought wtf I actually fulfill basically all of them! Edited October 25, 2010 by Surrealist
ascendotum Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 I was almost gonna say no way, your list is too stringent and demanding. Then I re-read it properly, and thought wtf I actually fulfill basically all of them! You'd have to meet for coffee/drinks halfway...that means in Adelaide.
irc333 Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Leave off the cute/sexy part, any part of a profile that says, "I want my man to be handsome" should be left off, since it's objective, because a man who emails you will not know if he's handsome to YOU. I am considering putting a list of what I look for in a man on my profiles. I left it deliberately vague in the past so that more men would contact me. Now I worry that it made me seem "low value" and if I had a longer list men would see me of more of a "prize" than I really am. So this is what I thinking about: (in no particular order) Cute/hot and sexyTall and in shapeIntelligent and quick wittedAnimated and passionateHave a sarcastic sense of humorKind and reliableRomantic and likes to express affection by touchA gentleman that will treat me like a ladyHave a stable job and direction in lifeRelationship orientedLikes animalsIs this a turn off?
Surrealist Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 You'd have to meet for coffee/drinks halfway...that means in Adelaide. Lol haha if I was gonna to do that I would just take the place all the way across.
Author OceanGirl Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 You'd have to meet for coffee/drinks halfway...that means in Adelaide. I have never been to Adelaide or Canberra
youngskywalker Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 If you're after a sex buddy or what you're offering is sex put pics up of you looking as hot and sexy as possible. If you're looking for a boyfriend, tone it down. Sure, you can show that you're pretty and a have a good figure but don't flaunt it. I second that. I've done the online dating thing and if a girl would contact me who was in a bikini or some sexy and suggestive pose she got no reply. Likewise, in my searching if I saw the same she wouldn't get an email from me. Ask yourself what kind of guy you're looking for. Very, very important!
somedude81 Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 What a nice thing it is to be a woman and be able to make a bulleted list of 10+ requirements and actually have men prove to you that they have those things. Different worlds.
Star Gazer Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 but the trick is, once you've decided what you want, you use the appropriate bait. You won't catch a salmon if you're fishing with worms. From the reply you got there I'm guessing you put up a photo of yourself in a bikini something? You are indeed the prize, but what kind of prize are you? Are you looking for a sex buddy, a one night stand or a long term boyfriend/partner/husband? If you're after a sex buddy or what you're offering is sex put pics up of you looking as hot and sexy as possible. If you're looking for a boyfriend, tone it down. Sure, you can show that you're pretty and a have a good figure but don't flaunt it. This is great advice. OG, given the pictures you've chosen to post here over the years, me thinks you tend to post pictures that are too sexy or give an inaccurate impression that you're only looking for a good time. Your pictures need to match your prose. IME, once I took the cleavage, party girl and bikini shots down, an entirely different caliber of men started contacting me.
jerbear Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Cute/hot and sexyTall and in shapeIntelligent and quick wittedAnimated and passionateHave a sarcastic sense of humorKind and reliableRomantic and likes to express affection by touchA gentleman that will treat me like a ladyHave a stable job and direction in lifeRelationship orientedLikes animals Is this a turn off? Not really a turn off but be careful what you ask for. Some of the stuff you have listed is pretty vague. LOL feel free to apply I would respond but then again I'll have to "apply", give 7 references, get finger printed, provide a credit score, insurance score, and proof of income.
LittleTiger Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 IME, once I took the cleavage, party girl and bikini shots down, an entirely different caliber of men started contacting me. Exactly. A number of very nice guys contacted me based entirely on what I said about myself. I didn't even have a photograph of my face on my profile (I was looking for a very special kind of man - and I found him ). In conversations with these nice guys, the subject of photos always came up and every one of them commented on the 'bikini clad girls'. The usual comment was along the lines of 'what exactly are they looking for because they make themselves look cheap?'.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Exactly. A number of very nice guys contacted me based entirely on what I said about myself. I didn't even have a photograph of my face on my profile (I was looking for a very special kind of man - and I found him ). In conversations with these nice guys, the subject of photos always came up and every one of them commented on the 'bikini clad girls'. The usual comment was along the lines of 'what exactly are they looking for because they make themselves look cheap?'. May I suggest using the word "quality" guys instead of "nice"... it has bad connotations. I look at it like this. A dating profile is like a sales ad. What you emphasize tends to be what you think is important.
LittleTiger Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 May I suggest using the word "quality" guys instead of "nice"... it has bad connotations. I take your point, though it's a shame 'nice' guys find it an insult because I still think of nice guys as the ones who aren't jerks.
Author OceanGirl Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 This is great advice. OG, given the pictures you've chosen to post here over the years, me thinks you tend to post pictures that are too sexy or give an inaccurate impression that you're only looking for a good time. Your pictures need to match your prose. IME, once I took the cleavage, party girl and bikini shots down, an entirely different caliber of men started contacting me. SG, what type of pictures do you have on your profile - how many, what do you wear and what is the setting?
Star Gazer Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 SG, what type of pictures do you have on your profile - how many, what do you wear and what is the setting? Look at my pictures in my profile here. Those are the types of pictures I post, but with more variety in terms of the activity I'm shown being involved in. For example, I also have one with some girlfriends at a Giants game (with a hat on), another at an outdoor concert in a sundress, another post-triathlon (dirty and sweaty), and another closer up skiing picture. Basically, they show who I am and all the varied things I like to do. One guy recently told me I'm one of the prettiest girls he's seen who doesn't scream high-maintenance or FWB material. I take that as a compliment. I don't know what pics you post, but I will say that your avatars here are usually too sexy or party-girl to be the type of picture I'd ever post on an online dating site. It gives the wrong impression, IMO.
melodymatters Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Honestly, I don't think it matters what you " request". Guys are going to write you who have 2 out of 10 and not give it another thought. I think it's simply up to YOU to do the weeding out.....
Author OceanGirl Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 I didn't realize that you have an album on here. Wow, you are really pretty. Also, for what it's worth you are much better looking than your ex (he is kind of average - sorry just being honest). I do see what you mean. If I could use one word to describe the vibe I get from your pictures, it's "classy".
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